Monday, 20 September 2010

I LOVE my new job rofl

Taking this job (ok, I had NO choice) was a BRILLIANT decision pmsl
It has EVERYTHING you could ask for:
Salary - with overtime, I COULD be looking a five figures this year (pass me the Porsche* lmao)
Work to do - NONE lol - only ONE person has come into the shop since I started. And I told him we were shut lol. He believed me!!!
HONEYS - AMAZING spot for a shop, with a BIG window. I am just staring at honeys walking past ALL DAY. Good timing too - schools are back lol MMMM school uniform lmao
Area Manager - BIT of a cock, but hardly ever visits. We have developed a DEGREE of trust too. He came in the other day and was being all cool, puffing away on one of those weird new new disposable electronic cigarettes, which he CLAIMED he is allowed to do inside since it's not a REAL cigarette - how was I supposed to know this? Anyway, I felt I was PERFECTLY within my rights to throw a mug of tea over this vapour device thingy when he put it down on the table - I did NOT want him burning the place down lol. I digress, aside from this ecigarette diversion, which he TOTALLY understood (me being safe rather than sorry) - he was generally behaving like he ran the place - which I guess he DOES lmao. Anyways, he caught me in the store room watching the Pursuit of Happiness and I was crying (do NOT judge me on this until you've seen the movie). In order to cover my tracks I CLAIMED that I was crying cos I'd just heard that Nan was dead. This was and IS very awkward since I live with my Nan and she drops me off and picks up up every day.
This was a POTENTIAL problem, but last night I snuck out in the night and coloured in Nan's car windows with a sharpie. Now whenever she drops me off in her Audi TT I just say it's my NEW gf lol. They will NEVER find out.
Feel a bit bad, mind, but you never know, she MAY die soon anyway
RIP rofl

*probs not TOP of the range


Gorilla Bananas said...

When you get the sack from this job you should become a bra salesman. It's the ideal occupation for a colossal tit.

Anonymous said...

Or a Tampax salesman - something fit for cunts

Anonymous said...

Bluckbuster eh?
Look what you did:

I'm impressed by the lack of abusive email & uncontrolled sexism in this blog. Just the ridiculous overuse of childish web slang acronyms to get rid of & then it'll be readable. Not yet funny, but hope springs eternal...

Anonymous said...

Ideal job for Julian - a condom tester - just the job for a prick

Anonymous said...


Graham Wiggly Tache Tocker said...

I can haz bottom cheese ja?
Massive winky!!!