A VIEW FROM THE BRITANNIA INN, PLYMOUTH

I LOVE my new job rofl

2010-09-20T19:52:00.008+01:00

Taking this job (ok, I had NO choice) was a BRILLIANT decision pmsl
It has EVERYTHING you could ask for:
Salary - with overtime, I COULD be looking a five figures this year (pass me the Porsche* lmao)
Work to do - NONE lol - only ONE person has come into the shop since I started. And I told him we were shut lol. He believed me!!!
HONEYS - AMAZING spot for a shop, with a BIG window. I am just staring at honeys walking past ALL DAY. Good timing too - schools are back lol MMMM school uniform lmao
Area Manager - BIT of a cock, but hardly ever visits. We have developed a DEGREE of trust too. He came in the other day and caught me in the store room watching the Pursuit of Happiness and I was crying (do NOT judge me on this until you've seen the movie). In order to cover my tracks I CLAIMED that I was crying cos I'd just heard that Nan was dead. This was and IS very awkward since I live with my Nan and she drops me off and picks up up every day.
This was a POTENTIAL problem, but last night I snuck out in the night and coloured in Nan's car windows with a sharpie. Now whenever she drops me off in her Audi TT I just say it's my NEW gf lol. They will NEVER find out.
Feel a bit bad, mind, but you never know, she MAY die soon anyway
RIP rofl

*probs not TOP of the range

WOW what a difference lol - I HAVE A JOB!!!

2010-09-14T12:30:00.000+01:00

I did it!!! I got a job! lol
Went to an interview last Monday and it was a D-SASTER. I was VERY well dressed (dusted down some chords, ponytail for the FIRST time etc) but some of the questions the interviewer asked me were IMPOSSIBLE.
eg:
"Tell me about your Film Studies A-Level, Julian (er, lol, I didn't do Film Studies A-Level, I was fibbing!!!)
"How do you work under pressure, Julian?" (LMAO, how the FUCK would I know???)
"What's the most challenging thing you've ever done?" (ROFL put 75 peanuts in my foreskin for a bet)

So as you can see, WHAT a nightmare. But still, in SPITE of panicking and coming clean about the peanuts, and EVEN THOUGH I got caught looking down my interviewer's top TWICE (she was NOT BAD lol) I STILL got the job!!!! I am a VERY happy man.
To be honest, I THOUGHT she was just calling to ask for the copy of March of the Penguins back that I'd borrowed on my way out, but no...she hadn't noticed lol...she offered me a BRILLIANT job as check-out/popcorn maker (chef skills made the difference for SURE).

I have been celebrating ALL weekend lol

NEWSFLASH: Pulling Comp CANCELLED

2010-09-09T15:45:00.000+01:00

Julian Meteor V Calum Best Pulling Comp

2010-09-08T13:29:00.005+01:00

FORGET David Haye v Audley Harrison, I have arranged a FAR bigger showdown.
I was chatting to a VERY well-known ladies' man on twitter, to cut a long story short we went from discussing him being my wingman, to him agreeing to come down to Plymouth on 6th December (TBC) to take me on on MY patch - good luck, I'm unbeaten lmao!!!
So, here are the details...(DISCREET) spectators welcome:

What: Pulling Competition between Julian Meteor and Calum Best
Prize: UK Pulling Champion Belt OR a go on Lyndsay Lohan
WHEN: 6th December 2010 from 8pm
Where: Zeroes Nightclub, Plymouth
How does the points system work:
1 point for snog (MUST inc tongues - CCTV WILL be available for the judges)
2 points for booby grope DURING snog (easy lol)
3 points for third base
4 points EVERYTHING BUT (needs one witness if it's Calum IN CASE he lies)
5 points HOME RUN!!!!!

What if Calum doesn't show? Unlikely, but if so, Julian Meteor is crowned UK Pulling Champ.

LET'S GET READY TO FUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Softball

2010-09-07T12:00:00.005+01:00

I MUST admit, I've become a bit desperate to fit in here in London. So much so that I am STRONGLY considering going home, tail between legs, to sunny Plymouth.
I had ONE final go at trying to make some MEANINGFUL friendships by joining up with a softball team. I EXPECTED to be welcomed with open arms, but I was TOTALLY mistaken.

Date: 1 Aug 2010 04:45:49 -0700
From: newplayers.*****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol
Subject: New Member Alert lol

Hi Jamie,

Rumour has it (lol) that you organise softball teams and training!!!!!
COUNT ME IN !!!!

A few questions for you:

1. Is it MIXED? (I have a BIT of a reputation with the ladies, so WATCH OUT lol)
2. Beers after????!!!!!!!!! (I have a BIT of a reputation for being a MASSIVE drinker)
3. Is the kit free? (I don't want to pay for it)
4. Can I choose which team I join? Maybe play for each team once?

A FAST response would be helpful, as I have a few meetings today,

JM

Date: Mon, 1 Aug 2010 04:45:49 -0700
From: newplayers.*****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: I'm away... Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol

Hi, I am away on holiday until 16th August. I will get back to
you after then.

Thanks

RE: I'm away... Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 01 Aug 2010 19:54:07
To: Jamie Redman (newplayers.*****@googlemail.com)

Anywhere nice?

RE: I'm away... RE: I'm away... Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 17 Aug 2010 21:09:27
To: Jamie Redman (newplayers.*****@googlemail.com)

FFS it's the 17th

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 17 Aug 2008 14:49:49 +0100
From: newplayers.*****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol

Julian

Unfortunately I was delayed getting back and have not had access to email.

I would say I play a part in the organisation...to answer your questions:

1. Yes it's mixed
2. Beers after if you want and others are keen. It's up to whoever is there
3. Balls and bats are supplied. If you go to the development sessions you should get a glove to us. If you end up playing you'll need to buy your own at some stage I would imagine.
4. For our league we do the following: we run development nights once a week on Mondays which you can go to to learn and practice. You have to pay £3 for these and they are in Regent's Park. The idea is that people who go to developments nights in any year form a team which is entered into a league the following year. We are now well into the season so you are too late to join a team in 2010 as teams are full and I don't know any requiring players. I can put you on a list for 2011 when you will get a list of teams looking for players. It is however up to you to make contact and try out for whichever team is looking that you want to play for.

Lastly just to say that this is organised by people who do it all in addition to their day jobs. It's voluntary so your patience at times would be appreciated.

Please let me know if you have any more queries.

Thanks

Date: 17 Aug 2010 15:45:49 -0700
From: newplayers.*****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: New Member Alert lol

Great - thanks Jamie. First, I do have patience but 10 days is taking the piss somewhat.

Also, it seems like it's a bit of a clique. I emailed you (IN GOOD FAITH) AGES ago to enquire about playing. Now you have come back saying that I MAY be able to play in 2011(two thousand and fucking ELEVEN!!) IF I am selected. This does NOT sound like the sort of organisation I need to be involved with. Total cunts.

That said, see you next Monday in Regents Park and you can TRY to change my mind.

Kind regards,

Julian

PS - any of the birds single?

Date: 18 Aug 2010 15:12:54 +0100
From: newplayers.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol

Julian

If that is your attitude do not come along as you will not be welcome.

As I indicated to you I have been away on holiday, delayed and not able to check my email.

I can go into how the league is run in depth but I won't bother at this stage. Suffice to say all teams are independent and we cannot force teams to take on players - they can only take players if they have space. Our development nights are aimed at getting people new to the sport interested and playing once a week. They then form a team the next year. Our role is to co-ordinate the teams to enable them to play in a league against each other.

Our games start in May - you are 3 months late.

Date: 23 Aug 2010 04:45:49 -0700
From: newplayers.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: I'm away... Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol

Hi, I am away on until the 24rd August. I will get back to
you after then.

Thanks

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: newplayers.glsml@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol
Date: 23 Aug 2010 15:39:25 +0000

Go anywhere nice?

RE: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 24 August 2010 00:09:59
To: Jamie Redman (newplayers.****@googlemail.com)

HELLO? I sent this YESTERDAY. WHAT excuse are you going to come up with THIS time?

Re: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol‏
From: Jamie Redman(newplayers.*****@googlemail.com)
Sent: 24 August 2010 16:13:29
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.

Delivery to the following recipients permanently failed.

newplayers.*****@googlemail.com

Final-Recipient: rfc822;newplayers.glsml@googlemail.co.uk
Action: fBLOCKED
Status: 5.1.1

*******************************************************************
After this VERY unreasonable behaviour, I asked Spencer to enquire to find out if it was just that he had a problem with me.

Date: 25 Aug 2010 04:45:49 -0700
From: newplayers.*****@googlemail.com
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: Softball - NEW MEMBER ALERT lol
Subject: New Member Alert lol

Hi Jamie,

I am new to London and I understand you are the man when it comes to softball. I have a few questions - I hope you can find some time to respond:

1. Is the softball mixed?
2. Are there beers after if I want and others are keen? Or would this be up to whoever is there?
3. Are balls and bats are supplied? If I go to the development sessions, will you provide a glove? If I end up playing will I need to buy my own at some stage?
4. Do you run your development nights once a week on Mondays? Can I go to these to learn and practice? Are the sessions £3? Are they in Regent's Park?
5. Are you now well into the season? Am I too late to join a team in 2010? If so, can you put me on a list for 2010? Is it up to me to make contact and try out for whichever team is looking that I want to play for?

I guess that all this is organised by people who do it all in addition to their day jobs. I will therefore be patient, at times.

Thanks in advance,

Spencer

*********************** No Reply *****************************************

Saving Money

2010-09-01T12:30:00.000+01:00

----------------
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: danthorpe939@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Personal training, lol
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 14:43:35 +0000

Hi Dan,

I picked up your card like AGES ago in the gym but NEVER got round to email you. TOO nervous lol. Anyway, decided to take the plunge and get some training going.

How much do you charge and are you flexible about location.

I live in North London but CAN travel, VWE etc

Please let me know; either way

Julian (a bit pissed!!! lol)

----------------
From: danthorpe939@hotmail.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Personal training, lol
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 16:29:01 +0100

Hi Julian,

No worries, it is friday and i guess your allowed a drink!! Yes i do travel and costs are as follows:

At the Fenchurch Street Gym: Single session £45 per hour or a block booking (10 sessions) for £400

Home or Park training: Single session £50 per hour or a block booking (10 sessions) for £450.

When would you like to get started?

Kind regards

Dan

----------------
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: danthorpe939@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Personal training, lol
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 16:40:03 +0000

Hi Dave,

This sounds VERY reasonable.

Just one thing: I had a PT last year but to be honest it really pissed me off that he wasn't in shape himself. He was all flabby; like me lol
Where do you stand on this? It's a bit like having a cleaner whose house is a TIP lmao
Do you have a photo or are you on facebook? I know this sounds a bit gay (I am NOT gay btw) but can I see

No hurry if you need a week or so to chisel up etc

Let me know; either way,

Julian

----------------
From: danthorpe939@hotmail.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Personal training, lol
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 17:04:39 +0100

Julian,

Well i'm based at Fenchurch Street, did you not see me there or pick my card up from the gym? I do practise what I preach if that answers your question.

Dan

-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Meteor
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 17:13:26
To:
Subject: RE: Personal training, lol

Look buster just send me a photo or I'll find someone else

Been burnt before by a trainer who had me drinking fucking milkshakes after my workouts. TOTAL waste of money that was.

Julian

----------------
From: danthorpe939@hotmail.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Personal training, lol
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 17:24:39 +0100

Find someone else you mug
------------------

GCSE RESULTS NIGHT!!!!

2010-08-25T11:00:00.000+01:00

GCSE results night just has to be THE best night of the year LOL!!! Of course you CAN get in trouble for having a YOUNG taste in honeys lmao, and it HAS cost me a job in the past, but I am NOW unemployed so I do NOT care.

I went to that old favourite The Quay Club (Plymouth's BEST club for YOUNG HONEYS LOL) and I CLEANED UP LMAO
I started out playing some tit cricket, but it got a bit boring as I was out on my own, so THEN I got serious.
For those of you not too sure what to do on results night, it's a simple process, just walk round asking EVERY girl what grades she got, then when she tells you what she got, just say "OMG that's A.MAZING lol", then go for
1. Hug
2. Kiss
3. Tongues
4. (if they APPEAR drunk enough) grope

I got SIX snogs this way!!!!!
LMEEEOWWWWW!!!!
I was proper going for it cos I realise that my days of doing this are numbered. I mean, at 35 I've only REALISTICALLY got four more years of capitalising on GCSE results to get snogs. It would be a BIT sad to be doing this at 40 me thinks LOL

HOT STREAK!!! Hotter than a pistlol!!!!!!! LOL

2010-08-20T16:39:00.006+01:00

Hello friends!!!! (ok, hello Spencer and Nan lol) Sorry I've not been in touch but there is a VERY good excuse. I've grown a beard LMAO!!!!
And why, I hear you asking is that a reason for not blogging? Well, thing thing is, I look VERY different with my beard, you see. So WHEREAS this time last year the ONLY objection I got from honeys was "Oh Julian you are SO fit, but last time you said you'd call after sexed me for SIX HOURS, but you never did. It's ALMOST as if you used me" lol... now NO one recognises me and to ADD to that I have a NEW dance move. The running man is SO last year. Now, it's the 'Meteor Caterpillar' - a move ONLY I can pull off - basically it's a caterpillar with a pint glass CLAMPED in my mouth which I DOWN whilst performing the formerly out of fashion dance move.
So I am NOW going back through EVERY honey I've done in the last ten years and BELIEVE ME, there are a LOT to get through (and some are DISGUSTING pmsl)

Beard + Meteor Caterpillar = TWO pairs of shoes under my bed MOST nights!!!!!! rofl

Life Update

2010-03-05T16:24:00.010Z

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 03 March 2010 14:09
To: info@home****.co.uk
Subject: Query

Hi there,

Any loos?

Rgds

Julian

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 14:14:08 +0000

Hi Julian,

Thank you for your email.

We supply a wide range of WC’s on our site. Please take a look.

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home******.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 03 March 2010 14:15
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Hi Jen,

Thanks for this! Please can you let me know when the next appointment is?

Kind regards

Julian

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 14:54:17 +0000

Hi Julian,

I don’t understand what you are asking. Appointment for what?

Kind regards,

EMMA

www.Home******.co.uk

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 15:06:25 +0000

Hi Jen,

I've had a look at your WCs (on the site) and they all look lovely. Trouble is it is sometimes hard to ascertain exactly how they will perform or what they will look like. I'd therefore like to book an appointment to come and meet you (or your colleagues) and have a proper "offline" look around!

Is this possible?

Please let me know; either way.

Kind regards

Julian

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 03 March 2010 15:20
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

I have just been released from work for the afternoon - can I pop in today? I work in the Brit so not far!

LOL

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 15:32:39 +0000

Hi Julian,

Our showroom is open weekdays from 8 until 6pm.

We are short staffed today so it may be best for you to come in tomorrow and someone will be able to help you.

We only have a small selection of WC’s in our showroom at the moment.

When you come in, please speak to Ash at the front desk and he will be able to help you.

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home******.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 03 March 2010 15:45
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Hi Emma,

Sorry I am a little confused!! Where did Jen go??

Anyway, thanks for your response. I'll come in tomorrow and ask for you (or Jen!!) lol. I note that you do not have the biggest selection of loos in your showroom. Please can you confirm if any of them are plumbed in somewhere private? This topic of conversation is never easy but one has to be sure that the loo is right of them... I hope you understand. I have never bought a new loo before so Looking forward to your guidance.

I will be there before 8am so I can beat the queues.

Rgds

Julian

PS - I assume I do not need to bring loo paper but please let me know otherwise.

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 16:01:01 +0000

Hi Julian,

Jen left last week, I am just using her emails.

Unfortunately, I don’t work in the showroom. The best time to come in is 9am as Ash will be available. Ash will be the best person to deal with as he is our showroom assistant.

We have a toilet plumbed in but that isn’t one that’s on display, it’s the customer toilet.

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home******.co.uk

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 16:10:26 +0000

LOL!!!! Where did Jen go??! Any good gossip? Your place sounds a pretty cool place to work!

See you/Ash tomorrow.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2010 16:36:05 +0000

Emma/Jen

Drink after work?

Regards

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 04 March 2010 10:47
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Hi Ems

I guess you'd already left!! Hopefully another time?

I couldn't find Ash this morning so I just had a look round myself. A REALLY good selection. I am a little concerned at the state of the customer toilet though - I guess your cleaning staff come in later in the day?? I hope so!! LOL!

Anyway, where do we take it from here?

BTW (by the way) - what DID happen to Jen?

Many thanks

Julian

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2010 11:07:32 +0000

Hi Julian,

Jen left our company.

If you know what WC you want to purchase, you can do this online or you can order through the showroom. It’s completely up to you.

I’m sorry, I don’t go for drinks with customers, company policy. Also I’m happily married!!

Are you really interested in buying a WC?

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home******.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 04 March 2010 11:41
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Married eh. Oops lol. Do NOT tell HIM about my advances lmao.

Everything ok at home???? (LOL - you NEVER know in this day and age*)

To answer your question, and to get to more serious matters, I need a toilet LESS than I did this morning if you know what I mean, but I am sure the need will arise again - usually after my morning muesli. Sorry for the detail, but you DID ask.

Anyway, are the prices negotiable? I think I am ready to proceed. Probably with the white one I saw.

Let me know the procedure and I can transfer funds.

Julian

*In the United States, 49% of marriages end in divorce. Source: http://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Divorce_Statistics

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2010 12:20:48 +0000

I find your email offensive.

If you wish to purchase a WC, (99% of them are white!) then please do this online as I am unable to help you further.

www.Home******.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 04 March 2010 14:14
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Emma

There is no need to be like that!! I thought we were getting on swimmingly!! I am not quite sure what it is that I have done to upset you but please don't let this get in the way of our flirty relationship going forward.

I am afraid I cannot conclude my purchase online as I no longer have internet connection... I have to steel wireless from my elderly neighbour or grab some feetime in the library!!! (I would NOT recommend going to the library - it's boring as!!! LMAO!!).

Anyway, please confirm (by 14.30) that you or Ash (or Jen) will be available from 8am tomorrow morning so I can drop off the cash. How much is it again? Also, when will you be able to arrange installation??

Thanks for your time, Emma, I really appreciate it. I guess you get LOADS of emails like mine during your working day ROFL!!

From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2010 14:46:14 +0000

Hi,

I’m sorry were closed tomorrow!

I don’t flirt so don’t know what made you think I was doing that.

How can you email me if you don’t have an internet connection?????????? Don’t answer this as I don’t want to know!

No, we don’t get emails like this all the time. Normally the customers that email us don’t waste my time!

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home******.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 04 March 2010 15:06
To: jennifer@home******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query

Blimey - who stole the jam from YOUR donut! LOL!!!!

Talk about "time of the month"

Don't worry Emma - please just send me Ash's number and I'll take it from there.

Regards

Jules

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jennifer@home******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Query
Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2010 15:12:48 +0000

The number to call is 01752 ****** and ask for Ash.

Kind regards,

Emma

www.Home*******.co.uk

I AM STILL ALiVE!!!!! lol

2009-08-18T19:17:00.002+01:00

...but I have been VERY busy!!!!
I AM however on facebook if you want to find me. I am CURRENTLY running a campaign to watch me streak down Union St in Plymouth IF/W.H.E.N England win the Ashes on Sunday or Monday...
COME ON YOU WHITES!!!! lmao

Fish and Fingers

2009-04-03T12:57:00.006+01:00

I'm back!!!! Sorry for my prolonged absence. It's a long story, I'll bore you with it some other time. For now, I'll just say that I won't be producing home made explosives from fireworks in Nan's shed again LOL!!!!
I wasn't LOLing at the time though. I was ROFCIB (Rolling on the floor covered in blood) LOL

The good news for you is my fingers have recovered enough to type (OBVIOUSLY!!!! lmao).

Hockey

2009-02-12T00:00:00.017Z

From: rthompson@****hockey.ac.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Hockey

Hi,

I am vice-captain of the men’s first team at **** ********* Hockey Club and I understand you want more information. What exactly do you want to know? As I’m sure you understand we can not just tell you to turn up and play for the first team as we have a selection basis dependent on a number of factors.

Regards,

Richard Thompson

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

Hi Rich,

Thanks for getting back to me. Janie TRIED to help, but women do NOT seem to understand men's hockey lol

The problem is I can NOT train this week (cos I don't have a TIME machine ROFL!!!!! joke of the day??? - please confirm)

but I DO want to play.

Can you make an exception and just put me on the wing (what formation do you play?) for Saturday? I USED to play for Devon U18 so I am VERY good.

Let me know; either way by 1300 BST,

Julian

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

I’m afraid we can’t make that exception unless we have actually seen you play. You could turn out to be unsuitable for the team or you are just trying to be a funny person and emailing with no real interest. Either way, putting you in the first team straight away would not actually be an option as there are a number of players who would be picked ahead of you this week. How about you attend training next week when you can attend and then we can discuss this? And sticking you on the wing would not be an option either as our formation does not include wingers.

Richard

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

I have EVERY intention of playing, but YOU and your secretary (Janie) are HARDLY helping.
WHAT am I supposed to do? I have already made a joke about having a time machine - now you are calling me a FUNNY person.
There is NO joke here BUSTER. I don't know how your BRAIN works but it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to train in a week where training has ALREADY taken place.

I do NOT think an apology would go amiss at this stage. An apology for questioning my integrity.

Julian

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

Well there is training tonight as well as on a Tuesday which is why we asked you to attend tonight and you will not need to use your time machine to get to this one. As it says on the website, (www.****.co.uk) training is on both days and starts at 7.30pm tonight at *******. If you wish to attend then please feel free to do so and we will make you more then welcome, from this we could then add you to a squad so you can get a feel for playing for the club. However, if you can not attend this training then if you are free on Tuesday next week then you are welcome to attend this session at 6.30pm. I have not questioned your integrity but as you are calling our development and club member Jamie by another name this is not helping in us thinking you are a serious member. As you can see, my brain is working just fine which is why I asked you to attend training today. I appreciate you may be busy but these are the available options, please let me know what you intend to do.

Thanks

Richard

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

Richard,

Believe me there is NO need to take that tone with me. I am NEW to the area, but have played a LOT for other clubs in Plymouth, and now I am TRYING to join a club here in London. I am a decent player and think that you should pick me for a game THIS weekend. Jane knows why I couldn't train on Tuesday THIS week (date*) but as I HAVE EXPLAINED I will DEFO be at training next Tuesday. I am MORE than happy to help out with coaching some of the shitter teams as well. I have ALWAYS been totally commited to which other hockey clubs I have played for both on and OFF (big time) the pitch. I have NO idea why you think I am not going to commit to your so called club. I have had nothing by sarcasm and coldness from your ladies captain. All I BLOODY wanted was your details. She tried to fob me off with someone called Simon but said that he didn't have internet access (yeah right, like WHO isn't on Facebook).

Look, let's do it this way. I can't train THIS week. Far too busy and have other credit-crunch related issues (haven't we all...!!! LMAO!!). I am prepared to train NEXT Tuesday as it would be good to see if you lot are any good. If you are not prepared to select me for any team this weekend then that's a shame but it is TOTALLY your call. All I'd say is that it sends out the wrong impression of the club. I'm available if you need someone at shirt notice.

What's the position on petrol money for training? Do we keep receipts or is it built into subs??!

Finally - what is happening on the social front this weekend? I am dying for some lash and I hope I can buy you and Jane a beer and put this ALL behind us!!!! (oh, and you can point me in the direction of some of the single Memebers!!!! !ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Please let me know by 2.30pm as I am on the early shift today.

Julian

*it went BLOODY well thanks for asking!!!!! Return date THIS Friday night!!! I'm going to get her leathered!!!! LOL!!!

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

Julian,

OK, one things before we start so that we can get this sorted, Jane is actually called Jamie and is a bloke. He is captain of the 2nd Team and responsible for overseeing the development of the club and generally looks after the running of the club! On the other issue, Jamie told you about Simon who is actually the 1st team captain and male Club Captain. However, as he has recently moved he does not have the internet and is unable to access it at present and therefore I as vice captain thought it was a good idea to email you to let you know of the plans etc. I hope this makes a bit more sense and hopefully will clear up some of the confusion that surrounds this issue!

Right, on the training front, understand that you can’t train this week which is fair enough. Coming next Tuesday would be good so that we could see what you are like and see which team you would fit into rather then seeing how good we are as we already have our squads and sessions set up, although these are obviously subject to change. I would disagree with you on the front that it sends out the wrong impression of the club as there are very few sports clubs who would put an interested player straight into the first team without actually seeing what type of player they are! I apologise if this is not to your liking but that’s the club policy on this issue. Petrol money for training does not apply, all of our players come to training of their own free will and drive up on their own with no money given back to them.

I hope that this explains some more and isn’t seen as sarcasm and coldness as this is not the aim. **HC are a warm and open club to new members!

Sorry this is later then 2.30pm, I am at work and have been in a meeting.

Richard

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

You ledge!!!

Totally embarassed about Jane/Jamie. I was full on flirting with her/him!! DAMN!!!!!!! I am NOT gay LOL!!!!

See you in the bar on Saturday for a FULL de-brief! I hope to come and watch you guys IF no one needs me to fill in.

Woooo ooooooo - HOCKEY 'NAGE is UPON US ONCE MORE!!

(where are the beers?)

JM

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

Well I am glad you are now happier, however I will not be there on Saturday as I will be away with the first team. As for beers, wouldn’t be so sure on where they are.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

I know dude - I'm coming to Cardiff to watch!!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys keen on a FEW beers AFTER the game in Cardiff. Full of slags!!!

Let me know big guy (EITHER WAY). This is like being back on the SHIPS!!

JM

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

Oh right, long way to come to watch a game of hockey! How exactly are you getting to Cardiff? Pretty sure there won’t be anybody who will be staying over in Cardiff as everyone will want to get back to London etc.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey

Um... was kinda hoping for a lift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deal me in. I THINK I'll wear my Argyle shirt (METEOR, 2) as I have not YET got my **HC shirt and this SEEMS like the next best thing. I am PRETTY sure I can convince a FEW of you lot to have a night out in Cardiff. No need to book anywhere FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD!!! ROFL!!

Let me know the meet time/place.

JM

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

One problem is that we have a limited amount of space due to kit and people we have to take so I am unsure if there will be room. My suggestion for this week would be to watch the 2nd team play at home on Saturday and then see what that standard is like. Unfortunately I think you are wrong on the staying over front as we will definitely be coming straight back.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Cc: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

No disrespect to the second team, but I would prefer to watch LEAGUE hockey.
PLUS I need to get out on a road trip - got myself a BIT of a reputation with the ladies in this town rofl!!!!!

Add me to the 1st team loop and we can sort out the logistics.
I just phoned my mate (in cc) and he MAY be willing to drive his minibus up there if we ask nicely!!!! lol

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey

Hi Julian,

I am afraid that I can not accept the offer of the mini bus to take the team to Cardiff and then stay over. I admire you for your effort to find ways to get up there yet the team will be travelling up together. As for arranging things without actually being in the team this is not something that can happen as I am not responsible for giving the go ahead for things like this and as you don’t actually know or have met any of the people involved I do not feel that this is appropriate for our team. As you will find if you attend training, our club does not appear to fit in with your outgoing personality re. staying out over night in cardiff and therefore I am going to request that you please do not come to the game on Saturday. As I have said, training is the time and place to meet the squad and then get to know them and not via email. I apologise if you find this not to your liking but this is the decision made. There are many other hockey clubs in London which may suit you more then our club appears to.

Please do not make any more arrangements in terms of transport to Cardiff for Saturday, we have our own ways of getting there and back.

Thank you for your interest.

Richard

RE: Hockey‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
To: Richard Thompson

Sticktease

:(

Honeys Drought

2009-02-03T15:48:00.005Z

I am VERY worried. The above graph speaks for itSELF.
I am not SO sad that I graph my sexual statistics ALL the time; in fact I don't EVEN like to talk about them, but my ALARMING slump in form (which SEEMS to stem from the loss of confidence since some NASTY people have started writing negative comments on my blog posts) has prompted me to go into my black book of conquests and check if this is not JUST a perception problem.
Sadly, as is PROVEN above, I SEEM to be in a slump.

Any tips* on how to turn this around are MUCH appreciated.

*I am NOT cutting my hair before you ask lol (Samson)

Weather Report

2009-02-02T09:16:00.002Z

I can confirm there are EXACTLY six inches of snow!!!!!!!!!
lol

Don't ask me how I know, but I got a LOT of strange looks when I was testing it this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PMSL

My New Gym

2009-01-29T00:00:00.001Z

One thing I have noticed about London, apart from the fact that it is a MYTH that it's easy to get a job, is that people round here are JUST as capable of doing dumb things.
My NEW gym, where I have been spending a LOT of my time lately emailed ALL its members on Wednesday about some sort of offer. Even I know that when you email LOTS of people, you do NOT use CC!!!!!!! lol
Once again, I have changed ALL addresses and names etc to protect the innocent (whatever THAT means!!!! lol)

-----Original Message-----
From: Brian Simpson"
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:20
To: Cc: ***Approx 500 emails Removed***
Subject: Permanent Locker Offer

Dear Member,

We hope you are enjoying your membership with us here at Super Sports.
If you have been in the club in the last few months you will have noticed that we recently added more lockers to the changing room area and outside the studio. This is ideal if you are using the club during the week and fed up of carrying your training kit to and from work or maybe you want to cycle to the club in the morning and get ready for work at the club. We have limited availability left on the lockers that are available to hire on a permanent basis and wanted to offer you the chance to purchase a Locker for £15 per month. If you wish to take up this offer then please drop me an email or alternatively speak to our reception team, but be quick as we are looking to close the list on Locker hire at the end of January.

Hope to see you in the club soon

Healthy Regards

Brian

Assistant Manager

Super Sports

1-6 ****** Row EC2A 3HH

Tel: 020 ******* | Fax: 020 *******

w | ************.co.uk

-----Original Message-----
From: Gordon Muller [mailto:gordonmuller@theinsertfarm.com]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:21
To: Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses Removed***
Subject: Re: Permanent Locker Offer

GREAT so even fewer lockers available for when most of us come to train at lunch time...

From: john.collins@cdhconsulting.co.uk
Sent: 27 January 2008 10:22
To: Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

And generally most other times…

From: Sandra Roberts [mailto:sandra@jrbmarketing.com]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:23
To: John Collins; Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

WHY THE MASS MAIL???
HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF BCC????

From: Theresa Harper [mailto:theresa@snvs.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:36 AM
To: Sandra Roberts; John Collins; Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

Hi

Can people please stop replying to all it is blocking our system with the amount of email addresses attached

Thank you

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 11:50
To: theresa@snvs.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

Is your system ok now? I NEED to reply all to this

Let me know; either way,

J

From: theresa@snvs.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 11:56:13 +0100

Yes its fine now,

thank you

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 13:18
To: Theresa Harper
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

Are you single?

From: theresa@snvs.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 13:21

Y??

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: 27 January 2009 13:24
To: Theresa Harper
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer

Derrrrrrrr.... I'm trying to get laid you malcolm

lol!

________________________________________
From: Theresa Harper
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 13:27

Well do you mind emailing me on my work address get a life sado wot did u email every one or somin well done round of applause clap clap clap
And if you think your gonna get ladid like that then think again sunshine.

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

******************************************************************

From: Brian Simpson [mailto:brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk]
Date: 27 January 2009 15:41
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Subject: Sorry

Dear Member,

Please accept my sincere apologies. I entered the email addresses in the wrong box by complete mistake and did not mean for anyone’s personal emails to be seen or for the mass circulation of emails. Please do NOT reply to the first email and contact me direct. Once again my apologies.

Regards

Brian

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:44
To: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry

LOL!!!

You SOOOO did this on purpose?!?!?!!!!! Didn't you?!?!?!! LMAO?!!!!!

Did you?

Can you let me know; either way?

J

From: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:55

Julian,

Trust me, I certainly did not do this on purpose. The backlash that I have suffered from my stupid mistake was really not fun. Certainly not one of my finest moments.

So there you go,.. no not on purpose.

Regards

Brian

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:59
To: Brian Simpson
Subject: RE: Sorry

Did you get sacked?

From: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry
Sent: 27 January 2009 16:10

No

***ENDS***

Julian "Branson" Meteor lol

2009-01-28T00:00:00.002Z

I am OFFICIALLY an entrepreneur!!! lol
As you KNOW, Nan has given me some cash to make a go of it in the centre of the UNIVERSE - London.
This money was NOT intended to WASTE on buying drinks for HONEYS. As a matter of principle I NEVER buy honeys drinks anyway. If I bought a drink for them EVERY time I chatted one up I would waste a LOT of money.
I digress. I've bought myself a METAL Detector!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I canNOT believe I hadn't thought of it before. It is a money-making MACHINE.
Actually, I'll rephrase that, it's a money FINDING machine!!!! lol
I went to that new Westfield shopping Centre which is MUCH better than Plymouth's Drake Circus on Sunday and found £4.50in just TWO hours work!!!!!!!
So, all those credit crunch strugglers, USE YOUR BONCES, get off your BACKSIDES and start thinking CREATIVELY of ways to make money.
BTW I have BAGGSIED Westfield, so don't even THINK about treading my patch.

In other news I am NOW signed up to a site I stumbled upon called Twitter, it has NOTHING to do with YOU KNOW WHAT and it's BRILLIANT!!!!!!
Please follow my movements on Twitter.

T-Shirt Comp - ...and the WINNER is

2009-01-27T00:00:00.001Z

Paul Hider wins!!!!
This is SUCH a good Argyle Style T-shirt that I am THINKING of reforming the band!!!
We were NOT that bad!!!
Click here to see how we were first formed
...aaaaah, the memories... our first gig, tours, sleeping with groupies, THAT Battle of the Bands, the EMOTIONAL cover of Life is a Rollercoaster that was 200% better than the original.
I wouldn't change a thing... (apart from maybe actually GETTING a gig!!!! pmsl)

Saturday Night Report

2009-01-25T00:00:00.001Z

I do NOT know what happened last night.
I was in a chippie having snogged NINE birds in the Walkabout on Finchley Road (GREAT pulling bar - wall-to-wall M.I.N.G.E lol ) but I was staring DOWN THE BARREL at my first night out withOUT gettling laid THIS YEAR.
My LAST memory is of being in the chippy nearby and seeing a TOTAL whale walk in and saying "Bet SHE's a regular!!!!! lol... there's a salad bar next door, you should check it OUT rofl"

...then I woke up NEXT to her. WTF????
TOTALLY mixed emotions. On the ONE hand I've bagged my TENTH home run of the year and am WELL on target to hit my aim of 100, on the OTHER, I've just slept with the fattest girl I've ever seen (INCLUDING tv)... NOT lol.

Google Problem

2009-01-23T00:00:00.000Z

BIG problem. I have NOW found out that JUST because I like to pass comment on things on the internet, it is NOW costing me jobs. Take THIS for example. APART from my fear and hatred of owls, there could not hae BEEN a more suitable applicant for the role of Zoo Educator (at a certain zoo I canNOT name) - ESPECIALLY after doctoring my CV PERFECTLY for the role lol...credit crunch...a man's got to do what a MAN's got to do!!!!! rofl
Does anyone know how to delete the internet?

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: maurice.richards@*******zoo.co.uk
Subject: JUNIOR ZOO KEEPER POSITION
Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2009 09:57:35 +0000

Dear Boris,

Please find attached my CV with reference to the desperate and urgent vacancy for a Junior Zoo Keeper at your reputable establishment. I advise you to interview NO-ONE else before you interview me. I care a LOT for animals, especially homeless ones, and I am SURE I could do a fucking good job,

I wait with great anticipation for your answer,

Julian

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: maurice.richards@*******zoo.co.uk
Sent: Monday, Jan 19, 2009 3:37 PM
Subject: RE: JUNIOR ZOOKEEPER POSITION

Any news?

Re: JUNIOR ZOO KEEPER POSITION‏
From: Maurice Richards
Sent: 20 Jan 2009 14:04:31
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Dear Julian,

Thank you for your application on January 13th for the education position, applications for which closed on 19th December for which we have now interviewed and appointed. (The advert will shortly be removed from our website.)

Taking advice from our HR department on your application, this was incomplete or could be more detailed in many areas of your CV and your covering letter matching personal and work/life experience/qualifications to the job role.

Furthermore, due to the vernacular language used in his letter of application, it would automatically exclude you as inappropriate language is a sackable offence within our staff code of conduct. It was also noticed by HR (as is common practice in the modern world) that a quick check on Google revealed a vast and plentiful supply of 'opinions' expressed by you across all manners of topics. It was mentioned that these don't always show you in the best light and could put potential employers off in the future.
You may like to take this on board when applying for any job vacancy for which you consider yourself suitable.
We would of course like to wish you well in your career.

Maurice Richards
Head Zoo Keeper
****** Zoo
******* *******
******
********
T** ***
Telephone: 01*** ******
Fax: 01*** ******

***ENDS***

T-Shirt Comp UPDATE

2009-01-22T00:00:00.000Z

Here is a selection of the best t-shirts sent in so far. MOST have been designed by you, my BEST friends... some are t-shirts you think MAY help me on my nights out on the pull.
Click here to see others and PLEASE keep sending them in to julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk.

Operation: Infiltrate the Owls

2009-01-21T00:00:00.000Z

This is a BIT MI6 but I tried to infiltrate an owl charity yesterday. I had this BRILLIANT idea to work for them as normal, trying REALLY hard to help owl (which would have been VERY hard...), all the while WAITING for my opportunity.
I was going to wait until December, then offer to ORGANISE the Christmas party when ALL the owls probably get invited to a barn in the country for a RIGHT old knees up.
Then the plan was to lock them ALL in FOREVER.

-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Meteor
Sent: 19/01/2009 8:09:07 AM
To: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
Subject: JOBS

Dear Barnowl,

I am VERY interested in what you do and I would hate more than ANYTHING to see the owl (ESP the barn owl) die out. I have been between jobs for the BEST part of a year now and would LOVE to help out in any way possible. Do you have any jobs going at the moment? I am a qualified chef, so could that help?

Please let me know; either way,

Julian

PS I have access to an owl mask but would need advanced notice in order to obtain it.

From: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:50:44 +0000
Subject: Re: (Fwd) JOBS

Dear Julian

Thank you very much for your email & the concern that you express for the plight of the Barn Owl.
We do currently have a vacancy which we are advertising on our web site.

The closing date is noon on friday 23rd January.

Best wishes

Debbie

Debbie Curtis
Conservation Assistant
email: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
tel: 01***** *****
Live owl emergency mobile 07*** ******

From: Julian Meteor
To: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
Subject: RE: (Fwd) JOBS
Date sent: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 10:08:29 +0000

Hi Debs,

Thanks for this. On ANOTHER note, I saw a guy the other day wearing what appeared to be his 'work' t-shirt. It said "Owl Instructor" on it with a picture of an owl on the front.

Any idea what one of these is? It had my friends and me BAFFLED.

Let me knowl,

Julian

RE: (Fwd) JOBS‏
From: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
Sent: 19 January 2009 10:17:03
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Sorry Julian
I have no idea.

Debbie

From: Julian Meteor
To: 'Barn Owl Debs' debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
Subject: RE: (Fwd) JOBS
Date sent: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:05:53 +0000

Any news?

Any old quote should keep them happy to be honest.
Shall I just say something like "Debbie Barn from the Owl Charity says that an Owl inspector may be someone who checks for disease among owls, such as hepititis, influenza, chlamydia etc"?

Let me owl,

Julian

RE: (Fwd) JOBS‏
From: debbie@barnowlrc.org.uk
Sent: 19 January 2009 14:13:53
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Julian

We are a small under resourced charity, working very hard to conserve the Barn Owl & its environment & really do not have time to speculate on the role of an owl inspector. Please do not contact me again,

Debbie

***Ends***

T-shirt Competition

2009-01-20T00:00:00.005Z

The INFLUX of t-shirts I have been sent in has given me a BRAINwave. I am starting a Julian Meteor t-shirt competition.
I am WILLING (Keith, you are a lucky LUCKY man) to have an amnesty in the name of art and am going to allow ANY t-shirt design.
Simply email me your design on julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk and I'll upload EVERY one onto my flikr site:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/955586@N25/

You can also click HERE for a t-shirt generator so you can ALL have a go. OR try this one which (if you are VERY clever, like Spencer) lets you upload an image.

Some are on there already.

The winner WILL get printed as an ACTUAL t-shirt and I will AUTOMATICALLY add it to my pool of pulling t-shirts, along with my "Sex Instructor" T, and my "FBI" long sleeve.

T-shirt SCANDAL

2009-01-18T00:00:00.001Z

Thanks to Keith for sending this in.
I WILL be suing for this.

Best posts of 2008

2009-01-15T22:08:00.010Z

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungover!!!! lol
So much so that I canNOT be bothered to post today
OTHER than to list my BEST moments on 2008.
Before I do, however, let me explain briefly JUST how much fun you can have going out on your OWN in London.
I came home with a TRAFFIC cone on my head, being pushed along in a Sainsbury's supermarket trolley by the DISGUSTING lump (Rachel? Robina? I don't bloody know!!! lol) I met JUST before the lights came out in my NEW favourite bar the WALKABOUT on Finchley Road. Being the TOTAL player I am, I QUICKLY logged into MSN messenger when I got home, CYBERED an ex before SPRINTING upstairs and doing it for REAL.
I have NO conscience!!!!!!!!!!!!! rofl

Here's my best of 2008:

3.My NEAR pulling of an FHM High Street Honey (model)

2. The day I DIVULGED my most effective chat-up lines.
This was a MASSIVE risk at the time, but I have SINCE learnt that at LEAST 12 home runs (that I KNOW of) have been scored off the back of this post.

1. My VERY near miss on finding a job. In fact, this was a moment that STILL encourages me to KEEP trying; EVEN in this seemingly NEVER ending war on credit.

ANOTHER owl t-shirt

2009-01-15T00:00:00.011Z

I have JUST received this picture from an ANONYMOUS source. I guess it's someone's work t-shirt. It is VERY similar to a t-shirt I own, that says "SEX Instructor" on it!!!!!! lol... on the back it says "FIRST LESSON FREE"!!!!!!! Get it????????
I have ASTONISHING stats in that t-shirt. I have NEVER left the house and NOT come back with a honey... and that INCLUDES going out to buy a copy of Loaded.
In fact, Spencer and Jally BANNED me from wearing it cos they felt it gave me an UNFAIR advantage. I know EXACTLY what they mean.
I wanted to take it piccy but the reflection of the glass (I framed it after it reached 50 'home runs' in it) made for a poor quality photo :(

Anyway, Owl Instructor is a job I will NOT be applying for.
What on EARTH does an owl instructor do anyway?
Any ideas anyone?
Keep sending in your owl t-shirts for evaluation. I give the "Owl Instructor" T a 0/10.
A HARROWING t-shirt in an AWFUL colour.

URGENT - Go shopping... NOW

2009-01-13T09:30:00.004Z

FORGET the credit crunch, I urge you ALL to go out and but THIS t-shirt.
Other than beer t-shirts ("I drink therefore I am - Shakesbeer" lol and "Beer is proof the God exists" ROFL) and my fabled green Argyle shirt, this is one of the FEW t-shirts WORTH owning because it helps spread the word on a VERY serious problem ESPECIALLY with Spring approaching.

It's available by clicking on THIS ------> word and is this year's MUST buy.

A WHISKER away from my first interview

2009-01-13T00:00:00.000Z

The New Year has NOT got off to a good start. I had HEARD in the trade press (London Lite) that there will be MORE jobs in the New Year. Well, I can TELL you, this is an UTTER lie. Even the MOST easy-going (me lol) people lose their rag EVENTUALLY (NB this is 84 - EIGHTY FOUR - jobs I have now been OVERqualified for, but FAILED to get an interview for.)

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: Health Club Manager
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009 08:53:18 +0000

Dear Deputy,

I am a VERY experienced gym manager. I CAN swim, vwe etc.

Is the post still open?

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009 09:53
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

ANY NEWS?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009 10:15:47 +0000

Morning Julian,

We have already short listed for interviews for the Fitness Managers post, I will keep your e-mail on file in case we are un successful with the current candidates.

Have a great New Year!

Kind Regards

Clive Scott

Deputy Manager

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: Clive Scott
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

How can I have a 'great' New Year when YOU have just TOTALLY shafted me?

It's people like you who are CAUSING the unemployment rate to soar.

Thanks; for nothing,

Julian

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009

Dear Julian,

As previously explained we have already short listed for this post, so I don’t know how you have been “shafted”. Secondly as you have noticed we are in the process of employing so in response to your comment “It's people like you who are CAUSING the unemployment rate to soar” does not make sense.

I would suggest that if you are having any problems finding employment reevaluate your CV, interview techniques and your own skills & qualifications.

I wish you good luck in the New Year in finding a suitable role.

Kind Regards

Clive Scott

Deputy Manager

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

Dear Deputy,

How DARE you write back to me in such a patronising manner. You haven't even SEEN my CV or interviewed me YET so you are in NO position to give ANY opinion about them. I find your attitude VERY unprofessional. Perhaps if YOU applied YOURself in a more business-like manner then you would be more than just DEPUTY manager.

Now, let me know by 3pm today when you want to interview me or I'll tell your manager about your insults.

Makes me sick,

Julian

From: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: clubmanager@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009

Dear Julian,

At 3pm please phone Mark Watson regional General Manager on 020 **** **** at our ******* Club. I have copied him in on this e-mail.

Kind Regards

Clive Scott

Deputy Manager

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: Clive Scott
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

Dear Mark,

Please confirm ASAP if the call at 3pm is an interview or not. I will need to prepare in the next 5 minutes if so.

On a different note, I am sorry that your junior deputy/Scott was so unprofessional about this whole matter. I look forward to working with ***** and making us all a LOT of money.

I look forward to hearing from you ahead of 3pm. IF this is an interview, it would be more convenient if I could reverse the charges. Please confirm in your reply.

Julian.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

Mark, any news?

RE: Health Club Manager‏
From: Clive Scott @ Gold's Gym (deputy@*****gym.co.uk)
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: 'Julian Meteor' (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Dear Julian,

There shall be no interview.

Kind Regards

Clive Scott

Deputy Manager

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Clive Scott @ ***** Gym [mailto:deputy@*****gym.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: han.clubmanager@goldsgym.co.uk
Subject: FW: Health Club Manager

RE: Health Club Manager‏
From: clubmanager@*****gym.co.uk
You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent: 29 December 2008 14:19:55
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Cc: 'Clive Scott @ ***** Gym' (deputy@*****gym.co.uk)

Julian

Contact number for yourself please.

Mark Watson
Regional General Manager

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009

Scott,

First of all you actively encourage me to apply for the position of General Manager of your gyms so I send an email. Then you give me a load of rubbish about me not making the shortlist BEFORE the deadline has even expired. Then your half-wit deputy tells me to phone you for what ANYONE would have thought would have been an interview. Now you are telling me there will be NO interview anyway. Why on earth are you intent on WASTING MY TIME? Why did your Deputy tell me to call you when he probably KNEW that there wouldn't be an interview.

I tell you something, I am justifiably PISSED OFF and I DEMAND an explanation. I tell you what, this would NOT have happened with Fitness First.

Have you got a position or NOT?

I tell you, this is impossible.

Please let me know; either way.

Julian

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: deputy@*****gym.co.uk; clubmanager@*****gym.co.uk
Subject: RE: Health Club Manager

Mark - I sent this to Scott by mistake. Apologies.

I think you will now understand WHY I am so pissed off.

What a farce!! Please let me have an explanation!!!

JM

RE: Health Club Manager‏
From: clubmanager@*****gym.co.uk
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009
To: 'Julian Meteor' (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk); 'Clive Scott' (deputy@*****gym.co.uk)

Julian

I have forwarded your emails on to Ealing Police Station and I will actively pursue you for harrassment.

I would suggest the reason you have got no further than a Fitness Manager is because you are utterly useless and incapable of communication.

Do not contact any employee of ***** Gym or enter any ***** Gym - any further communication will be sent to the Police and you should be aware that we are tracking your IP address through our IT department.

Mark Watson
Regional General Manager

***ENDS***

I was on RADIO 1!!!!!

2009-01-11T09:00:00.001Z

I was TOTALLY on the radio yesterday!!!!
Click here and I am on after EXACTLY 42 mins 11 seconds.

I went out AFTERwards and my voice got recognised by COUNTLESS honeys in the pub.
NATURALLY the BEST looking one is STILL in my bed(sit).

I am WARMING to London. You JUST need the breaks!!!!!! lmao

My FAMOUS Grandfather

2009-01-08T16:32:00.005Z

A FEW people in London have been asking me why I wear a Plymouth Argyle shirt.
Others ask why I wear it every day (apart from job interviews lol... but I am YET to have one).

I PREFER to be humble about it, but the REASON is that my Grandfather, Bill Strauss USED to play for them (1946-1953). He was a RAMPAGING winger and a TOTAL player with the local honeys. No prizes for guessing where I got it from then!!!!!! lol
Nan was TOTALLY smitten with him, but she soon learnt he wasn't one for settling down.
There is a RUMOUR in Plymouth that Britney Spears' latest single was inspired by him!!!!! But I think that's romantic bollocks. She is DEFO referring to me!!!!!

I USED to like David Beckham

2009-01-08T00:00:00.004Z

Went to the Beckam Academy in East London with the Argyle Supporters for a kick about the other day. What a WASTE of fucking time. Nice place and all, but they were SO unhelpful after I left my top there.
See for yourselves if you don't believe me.

My advice: GLUE your clothing on if you ARE going to go there, cos they will DENY they have it if you leave it there.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Tue 6 Jan 2009 09:33
To: rdavies@thedavidbeckhamacademy.co.uk
Subject: Beckam Academy

Hi Robster!!! I was at your complex the other day and i think I lost a tracksuit top.
It was Adidas, and had three stripes (black) down the sleeves.

I left in a hurry (got a call from an ex - hotty!!! lol I was out of there in a shot!!!!!) so probs left it in the changing room

Can you let me know if youve seen it???? ; either way,

J

PS hows the love life?????????? I am on FIRE!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 10:46:42 +0000
From: Robert Davies
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Hello Julian ,

What event did you play in ?

Robert Davies
Business Development Manager
The David Beckham Academy
07**********

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: Robert Davies
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 11:32:56 +0000

'sup Rob,

Thanks at ya for getting back to me.

I was at the Street League 5-a-side tournament in December (sorry, a few weeks back NOT last week as previously mentioned) - got muddled. Probably the MASSIVE amount of beer consumed last night!! LOL!!!! (ps - I have to stop there, you should have seen the state of the bird I woke up with!! MOOOOOSEEEE ALERT!!!! LMAO!). 'Nage.

Anyway, if it does turn up, please can you let me know, EITHER WAY.

Thanks

Big Jules

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Tue 6 Jan 2009 12:19
To: Robert Davies
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy

Found it?

Subject: FW: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 12:32:45 +0000
From: Robert Davies
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

sorry, from the email you sent , I presumed it meant that you had found it.

I've checked with our lost property and their is nothing there.

Robert Davies
Business Development Manager
The David Beckham Academy
07**********

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: Robert Davies
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 12:48:04 +0000

Don't know why I fucking bother.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Tue 6 Jan 2009 14:03
To: Robert Davies
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy

Any news?

I really need it for an interview-cum-date (make of that what you will lol) tonight

Let me know; etc

Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 14:05:38 +0000
From: Robert Davies
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

As i told you this morning we do not have it.

The date you lost it was the 20th December , it has taken you a long time to realise it was gone .

Regards

Robert Davies
Business Development Manager
The David Beckham Academy
07**********

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Tue 6 Jan 2009
To: Robert Davies
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy

Add me on facebook, then I can show you what it looks like

Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 +0000
From: Robert Davies
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: justin.regis@fiveaside.co.uk

I am not on facebook and I have had a good look in lost property and there is nothing Adidas in there.

I also spoke to Justin from the event you played in and he hasn't found it either.

Robert Davies
Business Development Manager
The David Beckham Academy
07**********

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: justin.regis@fiveaside.co.uk"
Subject: RE: Beckam Academy
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 16:22:13 +0000

Yo yo J-Man!!!

LOL!!!!! He is SO moody !!!! It's like 'take a chill pill' !!!!! I mean, it's ONLY a tracky top, stop going ON about it!!!!!!!

How are you man???

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: dbeckham@thedavidbeckhamacademy.co.uk
CC: rdavies@thedavidbeckhamacademy.co.uk; justin.regis@fiveaside.co.uk
Subject: URGENT - MISSING TRACKSUIT TOP
Date: Tue 6 Jan 2009 17:47:34 +0000

Dear Beckham,

Sorry to trouble you, but desperation has led me to contact you directly and Rob said you MAY be able to help.

On a recent visit to your academy I lost a white adidas top which YOU YOURSELF have signed. It has THREE stripes down EACH sleeve.

It is DEFO in the academy, as I got home the next morning and I was only wearing a t-shirt (NOT an adidas one, hope you don't mind). Where was I between then and the following morning hear you ask?
I met a girl. The top would NOT have fitted her so why would SHE steal it? Anyway I am 1000% it is in your complex and I need it back asap ( actually needed it for an interview I had this afternoon, but it's too late now. And I didn't get the job - coincidence? I do not think so)

I really hope you can help me, even though I don't support ANY team you have EVER played for (unless you have played for Plymouth Argyle?), but I respect you,

Please can you let me know; either way - you may even have picked it up thinking it was yours? Check the washing instructions, it has "Carlton Brown" sewn on a name badge there.

Thanks a mill,

J

***No Reply***

VOTE FOR ME!!! lol

2009-01-07T00:00:00.002Z

It has been BROUGHT to my attention (thanks to my online bezzie the Scaryduck) that there are awards for blogging.

PLEASE take the time to vote for me. Whilst there ISN'T an appropriate category for me (Best Shag for HONEYS LOL, Best Hair? LOUDEST guffs? Best Blog by an Argyle Fan?), Spencer said that my blog SOMEtimes makes him lol, HAS made him rofl and OCCASIONALLY makes him lhao (all this DESPITE some of the LESS happy times I have written about, like my DREADFUL bad luck in finding employment since the crunch).

So, in order to help me get EVEN more sex when I become famous and MAYBE an interview on Wogan (is Wogan still ON?), PLEASE vote for me in the Most Humourous Weblog section.
Here is the link:
http://2009.bloggies.com/

IF I win AND get sex as a result I PROMISE to film it and post it as a youtube blog the MOMENT I've finished (even if SHE hasn't pmsl)

Wiping out the competition

2009-01-06T00:00:00.005Z

Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 11:22:10 +0000
From: Julian Meteor
To: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Drummer

Hi Gerry,

I see you are looking to join a band AS A DRUMMER, on MY patch.

May I suggest you HANG back until I have found one. I have CLEARLY been looking for longer and YOU can't just come in and spoil the party.

That is NOT how the music industry works. You will give yourself a VERY bad name.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 12:38:35 +0000
From: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Drummer

dont just go around telling people you dont no what to do theres plenty of bands in london looking for drummers do why dont you open your eyes and fuking look instead of pointing the finger around

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 13:22:10 +0000
From: Julian Meteor
To: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Drummer

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ME?

Look, I'm just trying to earn an HONEST living.

People like you are the REASON we're in a credit crunch.

Disgusting attitude.

Julian

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 13:43:58 +0000
From: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Drummer

WAHT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT YOU DICK IM LOOKING FOR A BAND NOT TO TAKE PPLS JOBS AWAY. WAT A PRICK MATE.

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 15:30:51 +0000
From: Julian Meteor
To: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Drummer

WTF??????

M.A.N.N.E.R.S. mate!!!!!! lol

Look, I do NOT know why you are BEING like this, but it's NOT acceptable, ok?

I BET you love owls.

Julian

Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:02:11 +0000
From: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Drummer

LOOK PRICK IM NOT A FUKING FOOL STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOUR SOME BIG MAN WHO KNOWS PPL IN THE INDUSTRY BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE SOMEWERE ALREDY NOT LOOKING ON GUMTREE FOR A BAND YOU TWAT

IF YOUR SUCH A BIG MAN THEN YOU WOULD MEET ME AND TRY GET COCKY TO MY FACE DICK HEAD.

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 17:02:22 +0000
From: Julian Meteor
To: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Drummer

Now LOOK here Gary,

JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE USING CAPITALS AT ME?

Fuck me, if you so even as come NEAR me I'll knock your block off you big gay.

FOR THE RECORD - I am NOT going to put my cock in your face so you can stop dreaming about that NOW ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 17:11:50 +0000
From: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Drummer

O REALY WELL FUKING TELL ME WERE AND WEN TO MEET YOU U FUKING BENDER AND ILL SMASH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU U STUPID DICK FACE GOOD LUCK WITH THE WHOLE FINDING A BAND PPL DNT TEND TO TAKE ON LIL COCK SUCKERS LMAO GET A LIFE YOUR NOT GOING ANYWERE PUSSY.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: gerrie.****@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Drummer
Date: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 17:36:01 +0000

I have JUST had a date cancelled so I can meet you TONIGHT. I am in NW London but CAN travel (VWE etc).

Let me know (either way) where (the FUCK) to meet you. Let's say 9pm.

You are GOING down.

***FYI readers, I FINISHED him with a well-known move)***

The GREATEST Pub Game?

2009-01-05T00:00:00.003Z

Sorry for not writing in AGES, but I've had things to see and people to do!!!!!! rofl
Ever been in a cock-heavy pub, pissed, bored with NO board games handy?
Well, over the festive period, I was introduced to THE best pub game that requires NO props. It's called 'Cock or Ball' and I am the WORLD champion lol.
I was with Spencer, Jally and a few GRIM birds I did NOT want to sleep with (one called Wendy who was THE strangest looking thing I ave EVER seen) and we were looking for amusement. Then, out of NOwhere Jally introduced us to a game he used to play in France called something like 'La Gonade ou la Kekette'. Spencer then mentioned that it already existed in England and was often played by "juveniles" (whatever THEY are lol) but I could DEFO tell he was jealous when Jally and I got down to sudden death in our ensuing game.
Incidentally I won the VERY tense encounter and my prize was TEN free peanut throws at BOTH of Jally's danglies!!!!! I LOVE cock or ball!!!!! lmao

PS Wendy wasn't THAT bad in bed either.

See you in 2009!!!!! lol

2008-12-24T19:54:00.002Z

I am going to see Nan for Christmas, so i will NOT be blogging until then.
She has CANCELLED her broadband subscription since I moved out :(

lmao

OWL Update

2008-12-22T00:00:00.000Z

Update on my quest to remove ALL trace of owls from the internet.
It's NOT going well.
These owl pushers can be VERY stubborn:
Here's a response to one of the MANY emails I sent out:

***Original Message***
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: contact@manyhoots.org
Subject: Owl ISSUES

I have reason to believe you are an owl pusher and your run THIS site - http://www.manyhoots.org/

I for one HAPPEN to think it is VERY distasteful.

Please remove your website by 5pm LATEST

Gives me the RIGHT shivers.

Let me know; either way

Julian

RE: Owl ISSUES‏
From: Pete Donovan (contact@manyhoots.org)
Sent: 15 December 2008 19:18:42
To: 'Julian Meteor' (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Sorry to upset you, but if you don’t like the site please don’t go on it then, what do you mean by owl pusher anyway?I thought it gave a lot of information to people that wanted to learn more respectfully

RE: Owl ISSUES‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 18 December 2008 11:01:04
To: Owl - do NOT tell mummy (contact@manyhoots.org)

Are you going to take it down or not?

Can you just let me know either way?

Subject: OWL ISSUEs‏
From: Pete Donovan (contact@manyhoots.org)
Sent: 16 December 2008 20:48:24
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Hello Julian.

In answer to your question take it down let me know, I am sorry to disappoint you but I cannot do that as i feel that many hoots does a good job in helping a variety of birds back to the wild, look closer on the many hoots pages and you will see pictures of the birds they have helped.

Anyway aren’t you the Julian who went to Devonport High School for boys in 1986, and did you go on to chef school and went in the merchant navy as a chef on the ******** cruises, if it is I think I knew you. Anyway Julian No This Kestrel was a wild bird that had to have its leg taken off, it is now fine and is looked after by the team at many hoots. We will not close the site for anyone that gets upset we do a good job please take the time and look at all the pages on the site and not just the two you looked at , I do not wish to upset you but please consider all the wild life we help that you do not even know about

Take care Julian, with respect the team at ManyHoots.

Anyone for tennis???? lol

2008-12-19T00:00:00.001Z

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 18 December 2008 10:56
To: jenny.storey@queensclub.co.uk
Subject: Queens Club Membership Query

Dear Jenny,

I have just moved to London and I am a MAD KEEN tennis player lol!

I see your club is the most local to my new flat and I am DESPERATE to join in time for next summer, but I wanted to first ask a discreet question as there is nothing on the website to aid me.
The name "Queens" implies the members MIGHT not be, well normal/straight. I have NOTHING against them, but I need to check cos it would have all sorts of implications in terms of changing facilities, social etc.

I trust you understand and look forward to your response; either way,

Julian

Subject: The Queens Club
Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:34:11 +0000
From: James.Herbert-Brown@queensclub.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Dear Julian

My colleague Jenny has forwarded your email regarding membership at The Queen’s Club and the following 2 paragraphs from the website should clearly explain the history of the Club and why the Club is known as ‘The Queen’s Club’.

‘The Queen's Club, established in 1886, was the first multipurpose sports complex ever to be built, anywhere in the world. The Club was named after Queen Victoria, its first patron, and is widely renowned as one of the premier Lawn Tennis and Racquets clubs in the world. The Club has hosted as many as twenty-five different sporting activities and, as well as lawn tennis, has been the scene for such varied sports as ice-skating, baseball, athletics and rugby.
Throughout its history, the Club has been an exceptional sporting venue, and today hosts the world famous Stella Artois Championships, the World Rackets Championships and leading Real Tennis events, including the British Open. The Club boasts 28 outdoor Lawn Tennis courts, of which 12 are arguably the finest grass courts in the world, 8 indoor Lawn Tennis courts, 2 Real Tennis courts, 2 Rackets courts, 3 squash courts and a gymnasium. The Club also offers excellent hospitality facilities, including an elegant restaurant, cafe, museum, and President's Room - all located within the Members' Clubhouse. The overall setting is both tranquil and charming. This, together with the array of racquets sports available, is why The Queen's Club remains one of the most coveted memberships in the country’.
The Queen’s Club is a private members club and candidates who wish to apply for membership of the Club should know two existing members who are willing to support the application and for your information the current Full membership waiting list is a minimum of 1 year.

If you require further information please contact the Membership Office.

Regards

James

James Herbert-Brown
Membership & Marketing Manager

The Queen's Club
Palliser Road
West Kensington
London
W14 9EQ

Telephone: 020 **** ****
Fax: 020 **** ****

RE: The Queens Club‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 18 December 2008 13:51:59
To: James.Herbert-Brown@queensclub.co.uk

Hi Jamie,

Thanks a lot for this. Just to reiterate, I have NOTHING against them, but I had to check because I would imagine if it was just for homosexuals, the standard of tennis would surely be compromised; if you know what I mean. Arthur Ashe? I hear you say... well, he is just one of thousands of tennis champions - there is ALWAYS an exception.

Anyway, it's not an issue. How much is membership and does it matter if the two members I know are female and HATE each other?

Can you let me know?

Thanks,

J

***No Reply***

London > Plymouth

2008-12-18T07:54:00.025Z

Things move FAST in London. I looked at a studio flat in Kilburn (FAR more central than my previous NIGHTMARE in Milton Keynes) and decided to move in STRAIGHT away.
Moving my stuff did NOT take long.
My observations on London so far:
1. You are NOT allowed to talk on public transport. I HAD been warned about this, but it was PISSING down outside, so when we got on the bus I just turned to the person next to me (old chap, LOTS of tattoos) and said "nice day outside lol"!!!
Not EVEN a smile from him. IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!! Lighten UP!!!!
2. There are NO trees. Therefore NO, you know...! lol. NO BIRDS! Of ANY type.!!!!! BEST NEWS EVER!!
3. You canNOT swim in the Thames. EVEN in a wetsuit.
4. No-one talks to you, APART from policemen (when you are caught trying to do a couple of widths of the Thames to stay fit)
5. Getting a job here is going to be a CINCH!!!! lmao
I got up EXTRA early this morning to study the COMMON traits of the working people of London. Do they walk differently? Do they ALL read funny-coloured newspapers? Do I HAVE to own a suit if I am going to find work?
What did I find? I found that every other worker is a WOMAN!!!!!! lol
Even HONEYS can get jobs!!! If THEY can, I DEFO can rofl

Moving to London was the BEST thing I've done. EVER.

NOT letting bygones be bygones (until they are bygones)

2008-12-17T00:00:00.001Z

In hindsight I SHOULD have put the disappointment of yesterday's gazumping (or nearest rental equivalent) behind me, but Julian Lennon Meteor will NOT tolerate being mucked around.

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Mr Bradley,

Your friend Hugo has massively let me down. First he told me I could have the flat, then he said I couldn't and now he said he has rented it out to some random (but has produced NO proof of this). I don't really have time for his stupid games. Please can you sort this mess out? I have given notice on my flat in North London (Milton Keynes) based on what Hugo/you had PROMISED me. I hardly think it's fair to withdraw the flat now. Spencer will go bananas as I have already confirmed use of the band's van.

Sorry to get you involved but your "mate" seems to be ingoring me.

Let me know ASAP.

Julian

________________________________________
From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Whoa there! All I did is pass you the details. The rest is between you and this guy Hugo. I have sent him your email asking him to sort this out but there's no point in having a go at me, I can't do anything else about it.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Brady/Hugo,

Between you guys please do me the smallest service and SORT YOUR STORIES OUT. Don't for a moment think I don't know what is going on - it stinks I can tell you. I bet you were using my interest in the flat to play against other people to raise the level of rent. I think that's DISGUSTING. I came to you guys in GOOD FAITH and you are colluding to defraud me of a place to live.

Thanks; for nothing.

I HOPE you will both reconsider.

Let me know; ASAP.

Julian.

________________________________________
From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Julian -- I can assure I have no idea what you are on about. All I did is send out an email request that I got from a mate. That is the end of my participation in this process, aside from passing on your email address. Everything that has gone on from that point is between you and Hugo.

Now, I suggest that you get YOUR story straight before you go around accusing me of something that I have no involvement in whatsoever.

Thanks.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Bill,

You KNOW I am NOT happy with this, but I will LEAVE you with a thought and let's hope this is the END of this sorry episode:

It is NO WONDER the last person left when you are such a DISHONEST landlord.

Julian

PS I was NOT happy about living with Higo anyway. The LAST German I lived with used to piss in the shower.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Any news?

From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Julian,

I can not be any clearer about this and you seem to be under the impression I'm messing you around. This is NOT my flat but is Hugo's. I have nothing to do with this except for letting a few people on the London Argyle Supporters loop know about a flat for rent. I'm not the landlord here, Hugo is. I can not help you out with any of this as it is NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!!!!!

If I get any other emails on this matter, with the exception of an apology from you as I have done absolutely nothing wrong, then they will be ignored. I suggest you have a really long think about this and realise that what I am saying might just be true and you may have actually made a mistake.

William

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

I can NOT believe this.

So I am supposed to believe you sold the flat OVER NIGHT to Hugo? Even though you 'claim' you barely even know him?

BULLSHIT.

YOU should be the one apologising and YOU KNOW IT.

See you in court; either way.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: FW: Flat For Rent
Date: 17 December 2008

Spence, THIS is the buffoon who is responsible for the van bookings. Do you think we can get our money back?

From: Spencer Fairbrother
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: FW: Flat For Rent
Date: 17 December 2008

Hi Hugo,

I'm not the sort to cry over spilt milk, as it were, but I wish to register an extreme disappointment with you. I spent £80 on hiring a van which I no longer need. Please, just for a moment, consider how you would feel in this situation.

Yours,

Spencer

From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Look, I'm am really tired of saying this... I have nothing to do with this. My name is William (or Bill). I passed on an email from a friend of a friend who was looking for his flat to be rent. That person is called Hubert (Hugo in the emails). That is where my participation in this ended.

Since then, Julian has had a number of email conversations with Hubert (not me) about Hubert's flat (not mine). I have no idea why Julian thinks that I have any other involvement in this.

I have explained on a number of occasions but he doesn't seem to understand. I AM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON FROM THIS HUBERT GUY AND HAVE HAD NO INVOLVEMENT BEYOND PASSING ON THE ORIGINAL EMAIL.

If Julian fails to understand that then I cannot do much about it but the fact remains, I have nothing to do with this and am bloody sick of explaining it.

This ends now. Julian needs to take up his beef with Hubert and stop hassling me.

William

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Do you have Hugo's contact details?

-----Original Message-----
From: William Brady
To: Spencer Fairbrother
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Hi Spencer,

I only have his email address which is hubertvan********@gmail.com. I have not met the guy as was passed this through a mate. I think he lives in Amsterdam.

As you seem to understand my position can you please try and explain it to Julian too? I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't believe me but I think coming from you he may listen a little more. I don't want there to be any bad feeling about this all as it's me that seems to be getting the brunt of this. I know it must be frustrating from his/your side but taking it out on me as an innocent person in all this isn't really the solution.

Thanks.

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

William,

You only gave me one address.
I will need both Hugo's and Hubert's addresses if I am to get to the bottom of this and recoup my £80.

I am not short of a bob, but it's the principal.

Spencer

PS I take it you are happy to settle on £26.66 each if the others are too? Not much, really, when split three ways.

From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Spencer,

There is only 1 person -- Hubert. But during some of the conversations I think his name got confused and he got called Hugo but it is definitely just 1 person, Hubert.

I'm not willing to pay anything. I have tried to explain many times that I had no interaction with any of this. I simply passed on an email at the beginning of the process and then was not involved at all until I got a crappy email from Julian shouting at me to sort it out because it had been let to someone else. I don't see why I therefore should have to pay for something that is nothing to do with me.

I'm really sorry, but this is something that needs to be sorted out with Julian, you and Hubert. Surely the attached copy of the original emails shows this?

As far as I'm concerned, that is the end of my dealings with any of this and I don't expect to see any more emails about this matter.

Thanks.

William

***The End***

Are ALL Londoners W***ers?

2008-12-16T00:00:00.002Z

NOT happy. My plan to move into MORE cetral London location has hit a blip.
The ONLY good thing to come of it is that me and Spence are getting on again.
When I have bezzies like him back home, I sometimes wonder why I BOTHER trying to make it (whatever THAT means lol) in London.
Is EVERYONE in the capital a TOTAL ass?

From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: Flat For Rent
To: *25 Addresses Removed*
Date: 14 December 2008

Hi everyone,

A mate of mine has a flat for rent in Islington close to Tufnell Park/Archway tubes. If anyone's interested, or you know of anyone that might be interested, follow the link below to Gumtree.com:

http://www.gumtree.com/london/&^/*&*&*&*.html

Thanks.

WB

________________________________________

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 14 December 2008

Bradley,

Is this flat STILL available? I cannot access Gumtree. Please can you forward my email to him.

Best

JM

Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park

Dear Julian,

I hope you are well.

A mutual contact provided me your details (Bill Brady from London Argyle Supporters). I understand you may be seeking an apartment to rent. I have a privately let apartment which will become available from 22nd December, when our tennant of 2.5 years moves away to New York.
The apartment details are attached, however if you have any questions or wish to arrange a viewing, just let me know. Likewise feel free to text me on 0031 *** *** *** and I can either call or SMS you back.
The apartment is near Hamstead Heath as well as all the Tube and Bus connections of Tufnell Park and Archway stations. Postcode is N19 ***

Thanks Julian.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

With kind regards,

Hubert Van ********

Date: 14 December 2008
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent

Hi Hubert!

I need MORE details lol

Can you let me know; either way?

Julian

Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***

Hi Julian,

Could I get your mobile number, or SMS me via your own?

I am going to be offline though we can arrange a viewing to suit you if you, if you're interested?

Thank you,

Hubert

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 14 December 2008

Hugo,

I am a little concerned about the price. Is it negotiable? I suspect I am not the ONLY person feeling the effects of the credit crunch! Also, would you say this is a "lucky" flat in terms of getting the girls back? I'm on a fantastic run at the moment and would HATE for it to come to an end because of YOUR flat. I would have sent you an SMS (whatever THAT is!!) but I am out of credit until payday. I ALWAYS run out of money!!! LOL!!!! In light of that, I assume you do not NEED a deposit as a friend recommended me to you? I would LOVE to arrange a viewing.

Please let me know; either way; by 12noon (GMT).

Kind regards,

JM

________________________________________
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008

Hi Julian,

(Its Hubert by the way and an SMS is a text message, though I think you figured that out :)

Lots of points there... let me try and tackle! Seriously though, yes a deposit is needed (always) and the cost is actually reasonable already (the rent hasn't been raised in two and half years already).

If you still wish to arrange make a viewing let me know ASAP and/or text me on 0031 *** *** ***, when you have credit.

Also, I shall be in London this weekend so perhaps can view with you on Saturday?

Thanks a lot. Speak later.

Hubert

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008

This all sound ok.
Tell me more about YOU. I NEED to know about you if we are going to live together and hang out three times a week.
Are you a good wingman?
Record meet-to-shag time?
Out of ten what do you think of Leona Lewis? (this gives me an idea of your standards)
What score are you on for the year? (Honeys you have done)

I will pay a deposit RELUCTANTLY and MAY be able to look round on Saturday. Can you pick me up from the station? (Euston). I will give you petrol money.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 622 863 616.
Date: 14 December 2008

Hi Julian,

The appartment is for rent as it is. We will not be living together - Further info attached.
Also, would like to learn about you too. It is after all my apartment you'll be renting :)

Thanks

Hubert

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008

Don't worry about ME, Hubo lol

I do NOT do drugs and I ALWAYS put my condoms in the bin rofl

I will NOT make a mess.

Can I move in? And can you pick me up from the station? Do you have a big car?

Let me know; etc

Julian

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008

Any news?

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.

Is your studio still available?

Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.

Hi Julian,

I presume you don't wish to move in :)
Thanks and good luck!

Hubert

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008

WOE (what on earth) gave you that impression!
I have always said I am interested! I merely asked for a lift from Euston (I am coming in from Milton Keynes ESPECIALLY for this Saturday's viewing - it's the least you can do) and now you say I can't have the flat? Please explain what it was that I said to rent it to someone else.
OK OK I was worried about the rent but that does NOT mean I can't make payments. My rental record has been very good for over 10 months now. I CAN get references IF you do not believe me. I hope you are not just ANOTHER time waster. I do not think you are as you seem fairly genuine.

If you do not want me then fine. But please give me a little more respect that just fobbing me off with a smiley.

Let me know; either way by 11.15am GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) LATEST.

Julian.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008

Hubs

Re this weekend. Do you want me to bring all my stuff to move in or is this just a viewing? Only I have been offered use of my ex-band's van for Saturday and it seems a shame not to take them up on it! Also, it means you no longer have to come to Euston to pick me up! I'm looking for a new band in London, so do you think your neighbours would mind the occasional band practice (your spare room/study would be PERFECT LOL!!!!) - we promise not to bring TOO many groupies home!!!!!! LMAO!!!! (laughing my ass off).

Anyway - really looking forward to it. Are there any good pubs nearby? Is Hampstead Heath as full of gays as they say??!!! I am NOT gay but Spencer (bezzie) is often accused of being that way inclined. I have NO problem with gays BTW (by the way) just not in my band please!!!!!!!!

PS - you missed yesterday's deadline. I guess the language barrier may have got in the way! Without wanting to put pressure on you, the guys REALLY need to know about the van today.

Please let me know; either way,

JM

From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008

Hi Julian,

Sorry the flat is going to another person. I also know the house is 'quiet' and the neighbours (family) would not permit band practice.

Sorry it didn't work out. Though wish you the best of luck.

All the best.

Hubert

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008

LOL!!!!

I LOVE the Dutch sense of humour!!!

Let's get serious for a moment, though. We will be setting off V (very) EARLY so as to avoid the traffic and our
ETA (estimated time of arrival) is 6am.

Will you be up?

I would say "leave the door on the latch", but

A) this could be a security risk
B) I don't want to just walk in only to find you wanking on the sofa!!! lmao

Let me know; either way,

Julian

________________________________________
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008

I am letting you know,

The flat is gone to another person.

Good luck Julian, with your search.

All the best

Hubert

________________________________________

No sex this weekend (WTF!?) lol

2008-12-15T00:00:00.011Z

This London move has NOT got off on the right foot.
I'm staying with my uncle in a north London suburb called Milton Keynes and I am NOT impressed.
It is crud. I KNOW the pavements aren't lined with gold as they say, but I expected MORE lights and stuff. I thought EVERYTHING would have an advert on like Picadilly Circus. Is Picadilly Circus a real place? I have seen it on google images but I walked for HOURS on Saturday afternoon and could NOT find it. All I saw were roundabouts. Flippin loads of them.
Coupled with this, for the FIRST time this year I got NO sex on the weekend. Not even a PASH from my Saturday night out.
I watched X Factor at home and the result SHOULD have been a sign that it was NOT going to be a good night (Hello? JLS - best Non-metal band since the Beatles... CLEARLY. Iss the British public STUPID?), put on my BEST satin shirt (red, shiny, a TOTAL magnet, as proved by its 95% wear:SEX ratio) I ended up in a nightclub called Oceana and got LOADS of odd looks for being on my own (solo SEX missions are more accepted in Plymouth, clearly).
I do NOT want to talk ANY more about the night and I HOPE my 2.50AM LTD (last throw of the dice) was not caught on CCTV. It was PLAGUED with bad luck.
Back home, every now and then I need to use LTD tactics and they NEVER fail.
The theory is that at 2.50am (if we are working to the usual 3am closure of a nightclub) EVERYONE is smashed, so you need to proposition as MANY honeys as possible to avoid the EMBARRASMENT of leaving on yur own. (At Zeroes the bouncers kick you BACK IN if you try to leave alone ROFL).
The way to do this is to eliminate those with boyfriends first - you do NOT want to be spending VALUABLE time convincing people in relationships that YOU are the better bet. It is UNethical (and more importantly it takes 11 minutes on average!!!!!! LOL) - so you go up to everyone and just enquire (POLITELY) - "Are you single?".
In fact, I've eliminated the "Are you" from that question to save even MORE time. If possible, you ALSO pinch their bum or honk a boob (with car noise if they LOOK like they have a sense of humour) at the same time.
Trouble is, for SOME reason my LTD tactics ended with me being thrown out JUST as I was about to hit the jackpot (well, at THAT size I DOUBT she would have had the gaul to turn ME down). I HATE jealous bouncers.

I have been warned that MK is NOT the heartbeat of London so I am looking to move ASAP. Anyone got a room more centrally?

Let me know; either way...

London - AAAAAAAHHHHHH

2008-12-12T00:00:00.009Z

I am VERY nervous about my move to the BIG smoke (that's what THEY call it lol).
I am TRYING to think of ways to back out but Nan is not having ANY of them.
I am SO scared!!! rofl
SO many questions keep running round my head abut the place:
Do I HAVE to carry a knife like everyone else?
How will I be able to text my honeys when I am on the London Underground?
How will I keep track of the Argyle results?
Do they have bands in London APART from the BIG ones?
What if EVERYONE is gay? How will I schnaffle up honeys?
What about getting a job???
WHAT if I can't get one?

I HAVE come up with ONE idea.
(Bare WITH me on this)

I take up drugs. Go HEAVY lol.
I have never DONE drugs but for THIS scheme I am willing to try.
I find a heroin dealer. Buy some heroin. Eat it. Get MASSIVELY addicted.
(and high lol. Whatever THAT feels like). Then, (a BIT like Kate Moss, Pete Doherty or the LESS famous ones) I develop a £10,000 a week habit. As is ALWAYS the case I will get DESPERATE for my next hit (I've seen the films), then due to my lack of job I will be FORCED to turn to crime to feed the addiction. If I prove to be GOOD at crime (I will assess this over a four week period), I will then INSTANTLY give up the drugs.
Four weeks LATER, by MY calculations, I SHOULD have £40,000.
TAX FREE!!!!!!

LATWTTB!!!!!!!!!!!
(laughing all the way to the bank)

Probably just as well I have found this money solution!!!
I found out that my CV is NOT as polished as I THOUGHT! lol
It MAY explain my WELL-publicised job woes.
Message to readers (a VERY valuable one during the credit crunch):

CHECK your CV

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: CV

Hi Michelle,

I am ABOUT to move to London and I am KEEN to embark on a career in media. Are you the right person to send a cv to?

A quick answer would be VERY much appreciated,

Thanks,

J

Subject: RE: CV
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
From: Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

yes...is that quick enough?

Michelle Cowell
Director

Tel: 020 7*** ****

www.gorillarecruitment.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV

LOL!!!!!! As fast as Ben Johnson on drugs!!!!! (NB I do NOT do drugs!!!!)

So, what do I need to do?

ANOTHER quick response pls,

J

Subject: RE: CV
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
From: Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

CV please!

Michelle Cowell
Director
Tel: 020 **** ****

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV

Demanding!!!!!

See attached,

What you got for me??????????/

Let me know; either way,

J

RE: CV‏
From: Michelle Cowell (Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk)
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

According to your CV you're not even born yet and your spelling needs some attention.

Sorry I don't think we are able to help but good luck in your search.

Regards
Michelle

Michelle Cowell
Director
Tel: 020 **** ****

www.gorillarecruitment.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV

GOOD. I don't NEED a job cos Nan has given me LOADS of money, she has just asked for PROOF that I'm applying for jobs.

You pick me up on MY spelling? You can't even spell you OWN surname.

I couldn't care LESS what YOU think. You are NOTHING to me. From NOW, you will never have ANY significance to me.

YOU WILL REGRET THIS. I will PROVE that to you.

Julian Meteor is going to be a BIG PLAYER in London, lady.

JUST YOU WATCH ;either way,

Julian

*******************************************************************
Please note: I didn't actually SEND this last email. I drafted it, but TOTALLY
bottled sending it IN CASE London is like Plymouth and everyone knows each other.
It's ALL about networking. lol

Leaving Plymouth - AT LAST!!!!

2008-12-11T00:01:00.000Z

Look out London!!!!! lol
I'm a coming!!!!!
I have DECIDED to up sticks, get out of Plymouth and CHASE the dream!!!!
Well, that is NOT strictly true. Nan has FORCED me to go to London and get a job lol.
I have PROVED (by showing her ALL my emails - a LOT of which are featured on this blog) that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a job in Devon, so she has given me some 'start-up cash' (WAY too much lol - she has NO idea about modern currency. Shilling my ASS rofl)
So, the FIRST thing I did was go out and buy a car so I can even GET there...

"W-Reg (2000) Cherry Red, Renault Megane Sport Coupe for sale, UNDER 46,000 "REAL" miles on the clock. FSH (last serviced in June this year), CD player, A/C, Electric Windows, Multi function steering wheel. Car is in excellent condition considering it's age. One previous owner before me which was a leasing company, and full documents are available. Taxed for another 2 months, MOT until August 2009. Only 1 key. New car forces sale. £2,000

Tel. 01*** ******.. 07*********
E-mail.. jjjspoon@googlemail.com"

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 10:25 AM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT this car???!!!!!!
What's your best price??????

Let me know,

J-Road

Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 10:59
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Hello..J road !

If you want the car then phone me.... 01*** ******...or..07*********

James

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 12:51 PM

How fast is it? Metric SYSTEM PLEASE!!!!

Julian (Kilo)Meteor

Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 12:00:43 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

If you are serious then phone me, otherwise leave it.

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 1:08 PM

What is WRONG with you people? A minute ago you were a REAL laugh and I was
looking FWD to coming to see the fucking car. NOW you come across like a
split-personality WEIRDO.

FYI I am out of credit on my mobile, hence needing to ask more questions
before I get a chance to buy MORE credit.

I honestly don't know why I fucking bother.

Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 12:15:11 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

The car is fast enough.
There is NO need to swear at me in your message.
Everything about the car is IN the ad. I can't say anymore.
You need to view it if you are interested. If so, tell me properly you would
like to view and I will give you my address.....or use a house phone. Or a
friend's phone.

I sell many cars...never do interested persons ask me "how fast does it
go?"
They view, they like or dislike..buy or not buy. Some negotiate AFTER seeing
the car.
No problem.
Thanks for enquiry....

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 1:34 PM

Give me your mobile number, I will call you later.

Will you be at home?

Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 14:40:50 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

The ad. gives you my numbers.
I did give you my mobile earlier today in first message.
It is...07*** ******

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 3:00 PM

Can I RTC?

RE: Renault Megane Sport Coupe ‏
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 20:03:49
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

YES.

*************************************************************

The 2008 Annual Meteor Awards

2008-12-10T08:00:00.002Z

In CASE I forget I have decided to announce my annual awards EARLY this year.
These awards are all about ME and MY opinions, but I expect MOST of my readers to WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with them.
These awards have been taking place since the TURN of the century, but this is the FIRST time they have been blogged.

Without further ado lol:

Best acronym: LOL
Best initialism (this is a BRAND new award - only just learnt what one IS lol): ROFFYM
(Beats the holder of the award of EACH of the last eight years - LMAO
Best Member of the Meteor Family: Nan (L.E.D.G.E. but I will DEFO win it next year if she FINALLY kicks the bucket rofl)
Best Dead person: Steve Irwin
Most recognisable 'mote: O.O (The Owl)
Best Band: My Chemical Romance
Best Position: DOGGY!!!!! (unBEATable lol)
Best Musician: Rick Allen (STILL undefeated at the Meteor Awards in his category)
WORST creature: Owl (Eighth year in a row and RUNaway winner)
Best Abbrev: 'NAGE
And finally:
The Meteor Honey of the Year 2008:
Leona Lewis (WHO ELSE!!!!!!!!! lol)

Each living and/or tangible winner will receive an email.

i HATE owls

2008-12-09T12:45:00.000Z

As part of my campaign to make owls extinct by 2012, I have come up with a plan.
They need to KNOW we hate them. THEN they will stop reproducing and then maybe JUST maybe they will die out (and my insomnia will DEFO end for good).
This plan is inspired by the way Nan suggested we treat the local gypsies at a FAMOUS Neighbourhood Watch meeting in 1992. We were ALL given stickers which said "Gypos Go Home". It worked an ABSOLUTE treat.
So, MY variation on this is that you take my badge ABOVE and put it on YOUR blog/website. BEFORE long EVERYONE will have one and then THEY may get the message.
Not so WISE now, are we?

Bastards.

Operation: Get Owls off the Internet

2008-12-08T13:28:00.001Z

You MAY think the odds are against me, but I have begun my one man mission to get Owls OFF the internet.
Since the internet is the centre of EVERYTHING, this should be beginning of the end for that most sinister of creatures. I FULLY expect them to be extinct (thanks to me - and YOU if you can help) by 2012.
It starts here, everyone. OWLS MUST GO.

Subject: Owl Blog‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 8th December 2008 10:30:16
To: d*****@ecs.soton.ac.uk

I will ask you NICELY first:

PLEASE take down your owl blog from the local internet.
It is VERY distasteful.

Thanks in advance; either way,

Julian

(No Subject)‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 8th December 200810:41:26
To: whitfest@btinternet.com

I have reason to believe you are an owl pusher and your run THIS site - http://www.manyhoots.org/

I for one HAPPEN to think it is VERY distasteful.

Please remove your website by 5pm LATEST

Gives me the RIGHT shivers.

Let me know; either way

Julian

Subject: URGENT‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:46:53
To: info@owlclub.org

Don't even get me started.

**********************************************************

Paranormal Investigations Part II

2008-12-05T08:00:00.000Z

My plans for this weekend have been SCUPPERED...
You MAY remember I have been in touch with some Ghost Hunters in the area as I DEFO believe there is SOMETHING out there.
Well, JUST when I thought my weekend was going to be boring AS, I received an email from a RIVAL organisation which had some BRILLIANT untapped honey leads within it...

Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 10:10:38 +0000
From: heathercollins@********.com
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Dear All

I have left 'Ghost ******' along with all the members. We had to part with Bob as he was becoming bad for the team and acting very oddly in the end. He was falling out with members as well as me. He started taking knifes to outdoor events which none of us agreed with. His paranoia was getting out of control. We had a meeting and he gave us no choice. He was spoiling investigations and spoiling the group.

We all left and have started up a new group. We are nothing like Bob's group at 'Ghost ******'. We are all in it for findings and NOT fame. We understand that Bob banned you all and he did this at a drop of a hat. This was out of his Paranoia feeling you where spies for T.I.P. files. Hidden realms and Haunted Devon.
His lies between members making them all fall out became apparent when we all spoke to each other without Bob.
(David if you would like to come I can pick you up. I know you never said them things about me and I know this because Bob has said the same things to everyone in the group. He lies all the time and we have him on tape doing so. That's what got us all together in the end ad we could prove it with the tapes).

We would like to invite you to our new group and venues.
We are called Devon & Cornwall Paranormal.

Please have a look at our site and join us by going to contact us. Fill in your details and become a member free.

This weekend we are going out to Llancaiach Fawr Manor in South Wales. We are meeting at ****** Abbey gates at 8 p.m. We will be taken to the Manor when we all have met up. We are doing this as we don't want people getting lost.
please feel free to look up the manor it has lots of history.

I have sent this to all the members and would ask you if you could fill in the contact details on our website www.************.co.uk then i know who would like to be members.
Please can you let me know as quick as possible who is coming as we have limited numbers and would like to have numbers before tonight.

It should be a good night. Don't worry if you can't make it as we have plenty more stuff lined up.

Hope to meet you all soon.
Heather
(medium of the group)

Devon & Cornwall Pararanormal

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: heathercollins@********.com;
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk;
Subject: RE: Buckfastleigh
Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 11:20:59 +0000

This sounds FANtastic lol!!!!

Bob is SO yesterday's news!!!!!! rofl

Who else is coming????????

Should be a BLAST lmao!!!!!

Don't worry about Bob, Heather... I split up with someone recently too!!!!!! (albeit after one NIGHT !!!! lol)

Any other singles coming to *********??????? Could make things RATHER spicy!!!!!! lol

Let me know; either way!!!!!

A VERY excited Julian!!!!!!

RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk);
heathercollins@********.com; john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 12:09:23 +0000

Count me in as well.

-Although I'm not 'on the market' as it were... I'm only interested in seeking out the paranormal.

I hope this is ok with everyone,

S

Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 2nd Dec 2008 18:40:39
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
CC: Spencer Fairbrother

Hi Guys,

Bob I just worked with. God have you seen him. Yuk!
No he had to go. No one in the group liked him.
We dont have any single women in our group, sorry. All old ones. But if you are interested in the Paranormal it should be a good night.
We dont have anyone young, but I'm hoping more will join as a long of young people are intersted in the Paranomal.

Let me know if you still want to come and hang around in a grave yard with a load of old foggies lol, but I now only have one spot left, so you will have to decide betwwen yourselves, then perhaps the person who misses out this time could join in next time?.

Heather

Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008 14:31:37
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Julian

We have no young girls in the group. Also it can be scary at night as I will ask you to go and do loan vigals in haunted loactions. Are you ok with that?
Also we sit around alot and record with camcorders and voice recorders. So alot of sitting around goes on. No one talks as we may miss the spirits so everyone must be quite.
No mucking about is allowed and no drink as this can be dangerous.
Spirits can be evil or harming so everyone needs wits about them at all times

I dont know why you think we have young women or it will get spicy.??
I think you may of got the wrong idea of this group.

Are you really interested in findng ghosts and seeing them and sitting up to 30 min alone in haunted places.
All of us do it as spirits like certain people
Everyone has to take protection because if a spirit gets in it can hurt you.

Let me know what you think.
Also why you think it has come across to you as a way of meeting girls as it is not.

Please treat this professionally if you come along and be aware we do expect our members to be put somewhere with a camera or recorder alone. If you are getting results then you may be asked to stay longer.

I had one young boy who saw something and never came back again, so it can be scary.

Heather

RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008
To: Heather Collins

Collin,

I do NOT plan to muck about, but as a red-blooded, single 33 year old, IF one of the women on the group tries her luck (drunk or otherwise - HER choice and NOTHING to do with me) I would be loathe to refuse her advances unless she is DISGUSTING looking.

I HOPE you understand, but rest assured, I am motivated MAINLY by shooting ghosts, I am NOT using this trip for dating/drinking/socialising etc.

My 'former' friend Spencer has agreed to let me have the last spot (for a nominal fee), so I'll fill in the form later,

Julian

From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd December 2008 12:59:22
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor

Julian

Ghosts are not evil. Why do you think this? You dont need to shoot them down and if you go with that attitude you will and can be harmed by them because you will be seen as a target.
You need to read up about ghosts and spirits before you come on and investigation.

You filled in your form too late and all the places have now been taken. I have a fixed amount I can take due to insurance.
We also have to notify the police on how many will be around that night as we have a police officer as one of our members who keeps us all safe on ourdoor venues.

Go and read about spirits and ghosts as most are not evil and I will arrange for you to come on another venue. I would not put you in danger and if you go thinking like this you will be in danger.

Heather

Date: Tue, 3rd Dec 2008 16:17:07 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Spencer,

Can you tell Julian that we are a professional group and he has to act professional at all times.
He seems to think he is going to get a date out of this. It is not a dating site we are all middle aged.
Is he realy interested in the Paranormal??

We do have professional people in the group. Im glad to say we have a policeman, a medic, a nurse, a security guard and all the rest have office jobs.

He has to be quiet and not treat this like a joke.
We also don't talk about our private life on investigations as we are here to work.

Can he do this? I don't think so. We have had a few people who have drunk beforhand and have been asked to leave. The men of the group deal with that.
So no drink or drugs at venues and no mucking about.

Im a bit worried that if he ever came along he will get bored as it is just sitting around recording everything with camcorders and sound recorders.

Can you explain this to him for me.

Thanks

RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 4th December 2008 08:02:14
To: Heather Collins

Heather,

I don't like your tone. Julian can have the space.
And FYI we're barely even friends any more after a disastrous band fall out, so I don't know why you're acting like I'm his father/brother/mentor.

A very disappointed Spencer

Date: Thurs, 4th Dec 2008 09:18:01 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

I was going to ask you over him. You seem to be more interested in the paranormal. Dont worry.
I did not know you where not friends anymore.

Very odd.

As he sent you a copy of the email he sent me I thought you where friends.

No worries. I will offer the place to someone else who wants to come.

Heather

RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 4th December 2008 14:13:56
To: Heather Collins

H,

I have just seen Julian in town. He seemed very agitated about your next expedition. I assured Julian that you would give my guaranteed place to him. After your conduct below, I think it is the least you can do for me in the circumstances. Please confirm by 4pm that Julian has been allocated my place as Julian will need to go out and buy holy water, knives etc.

Spencer.

Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:19:14
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Spencer has just emailed me and told me you two are not friends. He seems very upset with you. So I have offered the place to someone else as we only had one left and i did not want to choose between you.

Heather

RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:38:57
To: Heather Collins

LIES.

I just bumped into Spencer in Halfords and he told me that you had one space left, but that you PREFERRED it if HE came.
HOW do you explain that one?

I am coming on this trip; EITHER WAY (I will bring my OWN tent).
When do we leave and from where?

Julian

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: anna.******@******.co.uk
Sent: 4 December 2008 13:50 PM
Subject: RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal

Hi Anna!!!

I was wondering if you are going on the next outing? I am DEAD keen but a little nervous. If you are going, do you want to meet up before for a (non-alcoholic) drink or two?! Would really help!!

Are you single?

Please let me know; either way.

Julian

*********************************
Subject: WTF!‏
From: Chilled Tony (chilled.tony@btinternet.com)
Sent: 16 September 2008 00:18:40
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Hi Julian,

This is Anthony, Anna's boyfriend. Yes.... the woman you asked to meet you for a drink. Thought I would drop you a line to let you know that trying to use a paranormal site as a dating agency is a fucking sad idea, and before you try this again, I would firmly recommend you forget it and return to your well used collection of skin mags. This would be far less likely to get you a smack in the mouth. If I do hear that you have contacted her again, I WILL find out who you are and where you live!!!

Be warned and make sure this is the last time I have to contact you!!!

RE: WTF!‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4 December 2008
To: Chilled Tony (chilled.tony@btinternet.com)

"Chilled" Tony? Could have fucking fooled me! LOL!!!!!!

It's people like you who give the paranormal scene a bad name... do you seriously think I was asking Anna out on a date?!! Jeeeezzzz, don't be a total Malcolm!! ROFL. I have a good mind to tell Heather about this. Don't worry, I'm not going to let your immature jealousy get in the way of me and my passion (or me and a SOCIABLE drink with fellow believers). I am pretty sure that Anna can speak for herself anyway.

IF you are trying to meet me as a couple, I am NOT into that sort of shit OK?

Your threats don't scare me one bit (like you were serious anyway ROFL!!!!). Hey dude, worry not, I am not threatening your relationship. She's probably too old for me anyway!!*

BTW, what on earth is a skin mag? Is this a paranormal mag? I haven't heard of that one but would be keen to find out more. Please let me know; either way.

Cheers mate

JM

(*I'm 33. Please confirm).

Subject: It goes like this...you are a dick‏
From: anna.*****@*****.co.uk
Sent: 4 December 2008 17:41:44
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Julian

It would be interesting if you did tell Heather about your email from Tony as she says in her emails to all members to ignore you because you are an 'idiot' and to also block you.
So before I do just that I will say this...you are a dick.
But I agree with you about one thing...you weren't threatening our relationship because...you are a dick.
I am not 'too old' just too wise for you because...you are a dick. It would be very interesting if you did actually tell Heather about Tony's 'threatening' email as she thinks...you are a dick.
I actually like dicks but only one and certainly not yours as yours must be way too small because you are so full of flatulence to make up for the fact that small though it is...you are a dick.

Anna

P.S A skin mag is porn but you wouldn't know that because you don't like to wear out your finger and thumb. Such a shame.

P.P.S Forgot to say, silly me...you are a dick

Subject: Police‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4 December 2008
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

I have given all the info you have sent me and my members along with your address to the local police as this is harassment. I am asking you to stop conacting my members as all have been told to save all the emails as the police will be collecting them. You really need some help dont you.
The police have also been told you may turn up on sat and if you do you will be arrested as I have given them a photo of you, your personal details as I found them all on the web. You do have alot of friends dont you. Some are very quick to give me the info about you i need to give to the police. seems your not like much and do this sort of thing all the time. Do you really want to be in court for Harassment. because I have told the police to go for it.

If you keep contacting my members it wont only be one person doing you for harassment it will be all the people you keep contacting. We will have a policman and a doorman with us on sat night as well as the local police being aware of what you have done and are doing so I think if you want to stay out of prision you will just go away.
Get some help this is not normal behaviour.

RE: Police‏
From: julianmeteor2 (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4 December 2008 22:16:00
To: Heather Collins

WhatEVER.
I am NOT coming to your CHILDISH sleepover as I have a DATE this weekend with a HONEY I contacted through your UNSOLICITED email.
Yes, that's right, I have found LOVE.
YOU are just JEALOUS.

Lol.

Julian

PS The group thinks that Bob was FAR more organised and well-mannered than you. Looks like it will ONLY be YOU and that prat Spencer this weekend ROFL!!!!!

*********************************************

The end for the Argyle Style?

2008-12-04T08:05:00.000Z

Just back from an early stint at the gym. I wasn't really in the mood so me and Joy just watched a DVD.
I have a band update for you all:
The Argyle Style had band practice last night.
EVERYONE was there. Jally STILL can't speak English, Penny is STILL a cow and Spencer, well Spencer and I are at LOGGERHEADS.
The conversation went like this:

Spencer: Stay with the rhythm, Meteor (he ALWAYS uses JUST my surname when his is cross)
Me: Watch me spin my drumsticks!!! lol. DEFO moving up in chick status!!!
Spencer: (Shouting) STOP SPINNING YOUR DRUMSTICKS AND TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
Me: (Puts drumstick down my trackies to make everyone think I've got MASSIVE erection) *Even though 'you had to be there' I'm SURE you can picture it and laugh lol
Spencer: I'M WARNING YOU
Penny: (tuts)
Jally: I am aff to confess, zis is defanatly ze funniest sing i have see since the 'ole time I am in England.
Me: Why are we practising anyway? We have never had and probably never WILL get a gig...

And then we went to the pub and BARELY spoke to each other.

My ONLY regret is that our LEGENDARY metal cover of Life is a Rollercoaster by Ronan (LEDGE) Keating may NEVER see the light of day...

The Gym!!!

2008-12-03T09:46:00.001Z

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you think I am UNSTOPPABLE now, I am ABOUT to become the ULTIMATE babe machine!!!!!!!!!
That's right, I have joined the gym!!!!!!
Nan wants me out of the house every day so has paid for me to have a personal trainer. She is a young phillie who works there called "Joy".
Fit AS, but a BIT of a cow.
First thing she did was make me take off my sunglasses, so it was VERY hard to have a Jacques Villeneuve (Rhyming slang: perv lol).
We did some press-ups and some lunges and stuff and now I am A.C.H.I.N.G. lol

I did NOT realise gyms were such a HAVEN for babes. I ALWAYS thought they were places where fatties go and sit in the jacuzzi to chat in the HOPE it will transform them into Pamela Anderson.
How WRONG I was!!!!! lol

No Band no Job no Money.

2008-12-02T11:24:00.000Z

Battle of the Bands has been CANCELLED.
The Argyle Style are NO MORE.
I do NOT have a job.

Can it get ANY worse?
I got SO drunk last night to commiserate myself that I managed to convince myself that the Battle of the Bands HAD gone ahead and that we had NARROWLY missed out on the MUCH needed money.
By the looks of my inbox, it would APPEAR I sent an email relating to this MAD thoughts I was having late last night too.
Oops lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: Battle of the Bands
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 23:53:02 +0000

One Way Road? Middle of the Road more like.

Call us bad losers, but you NO WAY deserved to win that comp. It's ALL about the order you go on stage. Always has been and always will be in a Battle of the Bands. Apart from us it was a Battle of the Blands.

You will NEVER get signed.

Rock in hell.

Julian

From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 23:59:38 +0000

thx for the kind words who eva u is. We r split neways u shud ckeck my new band www.myspace.com/flyawayvenus much luv xx

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:05:43 +0000

Listened to your new stuff.

Crud.

From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:10:18 +0000

shame. oh well i enjoy wat i play nd thats the main thing. maybe when u grow up abit you will understand that thats the most important thing ;)

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:21:55 +0000

You are SO deluded.

You say playing music is more important than making GOOD music, and YET you are single.

How are you going to get married and have babies if you INSIST on this approach?

Let me know; either way,

J

PS Listened again to your stuff. To be fair the tracks get progressively better. For example the last track is terrible.

RE: Battle of the Bands‏
From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 11:28:24
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Man, im not even gonna pretend i understand the link between music and being single but there u go. Anyway im bored of this pointless argument. u dont like our music fair enough ur entitled 2 your opinion. so maybe its time for u 2 move on with your life ;)

****************************************************************

My MOST effective chat-up lines

2008-12-01T12:48:00.001Z

Seeing as YET AGAIN I took a girl home on Saturday night (although we did NOT do it - not my fault) I thought I would share a table of ORIGINAL chat-up lines I have used this year so any BUDDING Julian Meteors (P.L.A.Y.E.R.S) out there can simply copy me (as LONG as they don't operate in MY territory lol - DEVON)
In order of effectiveness:

5. "What's yer name and where do you coom from???!!!!" lol (In a CLASSIC Cilla Black accent)
Used: 50
Success rate: 10%
4. "I love you like a sister... LET'S MAKE SPASTIC BABIES!!!!!!!!" lmao
Used: 2
Success Rate: 50% (I think the ONE failure I had misheard and just thought I called her a spastic)
3. "Do you like owls?"
Used: Hard to say. I ask EVERYONE.
Success: I have taken EVERY honey home who shares my hatred of them.
1= "What's your name, Sheila?" (in Australian accent)
Used: once (on a kiwi, oops lol)
Success: 100%
1= "Can I have your MSN addy for some cyber, or shall I just take you home for the REAL thing? Ell oh Ell!!!!"
Used 5
Success: 5 (understandable - GREAT line; VERY original)

There's a Monster in my Bed!!!!! lol

2008-11-30T15:06:00.000Z

I don't know WHAT to do.
I went out last night (on my own), and had NO luck in any of the bars, so went to my usual - Zeroes - at about 2.30 AM. I SWEAR that place is getting more straight by the week. EITHER that or the Meteor charm is straightening up the SUPPOSED gays!!!!! rofl
In any case, I took home this DISGUSTING pig, via the chippy (her choice).
She ate SO much that she is STILL sleeping it off. We didn't even DO it (third base only).
I'm tempted to roll her up in my duvet and roll her out of the window.
But she'd probably bounce back IN.

Paranormal Investigations

2008-11-27T19:55:00.000Z

My dreams have been getting weirder and WEIRDER. I do NOT know if it's anything to do with it, but I have heard that you are MORE likely to have bad dreams if you sleep for LONGER. Well, it is NOT my fault that I have been sleeping in. What do you want me to do? Get up as IF I am going to work, then stay at home? Waste of energy if you ask me, and I am PRETTY certain Branson (LEDGE) would agree with me if HE had been as unlucky as I have been.
I do NOT want to go into a WHOLE description of the LAST few dreams since I GAVE you a taster last time, but JUST so you understand, I will summarise the RECURRING themes:
Owl mask
Grampa
Background laughter
Twit twoo
Black & white
Flourescent stars (but I THINK these may be the ones stuck to the ceiling in my bedroom)

I did NOT want to share this, but I have been looking into the paranormal and discussing the after-life on forums etc... and I EVEN came close to joining a Ghost hunting group.
All things happen for a reason, though, and I didn't end up joining. I think with Paranormal Investigators you HAVE to click otherwise it JUST doesn't work.
Bob Newell and I JUST failed to see eye to eye...

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 23 November 2008 14:14
To: parasearch@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Paranormal Investigations

Dear Para,

I am VERY interested on joining you on one of your field trips. WHEN is the next one and can I join in???? I MAY also have two friends interested in this as well.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell (parasearch@yahoo.co.uk)
Sent: 24 November 2008 12:33:44
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

Hi Julian

Thank you for your interest in our team. Our next trip is this Saturday to a place called S***** Tunnel near S&^&^ Prior and you and your friend are welcome to join us as long as you are all over the age of 18. Can I ask you where you heard about us and also if you have any experience in doing investigations? Experience is not necessary of course as everyone has to start somewhere.

Bob Newell

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 24 November 2008 14:56
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations

Hi Bobby!!

I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOLI have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we MAY be able to enlist his help.

Julian

RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell
Sent: 24 November 2008 16:07:09
To: 'Julian Meteor'

I’m sorry Julian but I do not feel your attitude in wanting to know if there are any ‘honeys’ in the group makes you compatible with what we do.

Best wishes

Bob

*********************************
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations
Date: 25 November 2008 12:15:33 +0000

Hi Spence,

See below *duplication removed*
MASSIVE shame, I'm busy this weekend (seeing Justine FINALLY for our first date*)
Do you fancy going? Then MAYBE I could join you next time if they're not too wierd.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

*I will NOT finger her

From: Spencer Fairbrother [mailto:spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk]
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:19
To: parasearchers@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations

Hi Bob,

I understand from the email below *duplication removed* that my friend has been in touch with you.
We have been discussing getting involved with the Paranormal World for a long time, so it's very convenient that you're in our area!
Sadly, it looks like Julian won't be able to make it, but is there room for little old me? If so, I would need to know exact times and what to bring etc
I don't have any experience, but I believe 100% that ghosts might exist in Devon.

Regards,

Spencer

From: Bob Newell
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:42:43
To: 'Spencer Fairbrother' (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏‏

Hi Spencer

Unfortunately your friend Julian seemed to be treating it all as a joke and although we have a lot of laughs when we investigate areas we are serious about what we do. I do not know if you are aware of what Julian wrote but I found it offensive even though he might not have meant it to be.
This is his email to me

‘I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOL have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL)
so we MAY be able to enlist his help.’

We welcome anyone to join us but if people ask questions such as ‘actually, just tell me if there are any honeys’ and say things like ‘but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we may be able to enlist his help’ then I don’t think you can blame me for being cautious and not wanting to have dealings with him.

There are other groups in the area you can join such as Haunted Devon and Paranormal Devon Uncovered and I suggest you give them a try.

Best regards

Bob

From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 25 November 2008 19:16:24
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏

Bob,

It disappoints me that you tar me with the same brush as Julian (it's as if we were the same person the way you are treating me).
I don't know Julian all that well; we play in a band together, but it's early days.
Please treat my enquiry with the independence I deserve.

Now then, when, where and do you pay expenses?

I look forward to a non-discriminatory reply,

Spencer

From: Bob Newell
Sent: 26 November 2008 22:09:03
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: Re: Paranormal Investigations

Hi Spencer

I’m sorry that you feel my email was discriminatory. I have to make decisions for the good of the group and in this instance I have decided that your friend's email spoke for you all. Perhaps you should have a word with him about the way he introduces himself to complete strangers while tagging you on as his friend.

I am sorry that his actions have counted against you but I receive so many emails from timewasters that occasionally genuine people like you suffer unfortunately.
Like I said, there are other groups out there like Haunted Devon (www.haunted-devon.co.uk) which is very well run by an old colleague of mine and they travel far and wide to famous haunted places. Whereas we have a limited membership they are open to all and they should be able to fulfil all your requirements for investigating the paranormal.

Regards

Bob

DID YOU KNOW? 3 INTERESTING facts

2008-11-27T12:55:00.000Z

A duck's quack does NOT echo
The only animals that aren't banned from the grounds of the Houses of Parliament are dogs and horses.
There are NO owls in Wales

"In a hole! With an owl!"

2008-11-26T11:46:00.001Z

"In a hole! With an owl!"
Originally uploaded by bitrot

Seeing as I do nOT have a job, we are YET to have band practice, Nan is away and I have NOT been out for a few days, I shouldn't really have anything to write about.
LUCKILY I had the most BIZARRE dream last night, so I will tell you about it...
I dreamt that I woke UP, got dressed, put a suit on (I do NOT even own a suit), pashed Nan goodbye (we don't even do CHEEK kissing since she's grown THAT beard, so this was ALREADY getting weird) then walked up this MASSIVE staircase and into a board room a BIT like the one they have in The Apprentice with Sralan.
THEN, my interviwer walked in wearing an OWL mask and started slicing my up with a LIGHT saber.
Then my alarm clock went off.
This ANNOYED me at first as there is NO reason for me to need to get up at the moment, but on reflection is was a HUGE relief.
I HATE Owls.
And lightsabers.

When Harry met Spencer

2008-11-25T12:41:00.000Z

Best weekend EVER lol.
For the first time in AGES I did NOT pull. I have TOTALLY turned over a new leaf. I no LONGER need to snare a honey in order to have a good night.
L.M.A.O. - believe that you will believe ANYTHING!!!!!! lmfao
It was a CRUD weekend (for the reasons I just LIED about). I got blown out by EVERYONE - including fatties, one with piercings ALL over her face, who CLAIMED she had a boyfriend (yeah, right), and EVEN this TOTAL lesbian who had NO right to turn me down as she did NOT look like the type to get much action; she had short spikey hair and looked a LOT like a man. In fact, I ONLY tried it on AFTER the lights went on in the club (Candy Store, NOT Zeroes for once!!!!! lol)
The ONLY good thing I did was get VERY good value for money on the News of the World in that I bought a copy from my local convenience store on the way home Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3am and I was SO smashed I didn't remember ANY of it when I re-read it on Sunday - two for the price of one... MASSIVE stroke of money-saving luck!!!!!! pmsl
Now, I BET you are wondering what is going on with the Battle of the Bands.
"They're running out of time" I hear you thinking. Well, do NOT write us off!!!!!! lol
Actually, even I have dipped below 99% certainty that this event will take place.
In fact, since last week, we have made NO progress. NOT my fault, people have been MASSIVELY distracting me.

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:19:49 +0100
Subject: Julian needs help!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Spencer, your Julian needs some professional help, he's got half of Plymouth
curled up laughing here!

You would not believe the bad picture he's painting for your band..... It's
incredible how you allow it with a £10K prize at stake....?

Dude have a word in his ear....

Harry.

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:51:30 +0000

Thanks for the email, Harry. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
I've been away for a few days in Brighton - absolutely HEAVING there!!!! The gay scene is really open and liberating.

Would you like to meet up for a cocktail and discuss Julian?

Spencer

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:09:15 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Lol... No mate... Julian’s not really on my agenda to be honest....

The only reason I emailed is because he’s constantly emailing me with laughably odd comments and notions... I’d rather be nothing to do with it frankly...

Wish you all the best with your band..... Whatever it is you’re all looking for out of music... I’m not sure you’re headed in the right direction.... But hey, each to their own eh, we’ve all got different opinions.

Regards.

Harry.

PS Brighton Gay scene is about as much fun as being hassled for sex by hundreds of blokes because they think good looking guys must be gay ...jeeezzz yuK!

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:01:30 +0000

Don't knock it til you try it Mr Big Winkle!!!

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:13:09 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Comments like that fill me with the confidence that you really know what you’re doing x honest ;-)

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:41:30 +0000

How many inches is it????!!!!!!

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:20:21 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

I think I might publish the whole of your emails from the start on my blog....

It sure is one of the funniest I’ve ever come across....

I mean.. “How many inches is it????!!!!!!”

Are you for real? Are you really positive you want to be asking me that?

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:29:31 +0000

PLEASE don't say anything to anyone.

I had a meeting with Julian to try and convince him to work with me. He mentioned he thought you were gay. I pretended not to register, but it got my mind racing. I couldn't stop thinking about you and me and the correspondence we'd shared. Go on, re-read them and tell me you couldn't cut the sexual tension with a knife...

...and then mail me back a piccy of your sausage x

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:56:42 +0000

Don't leave me hanging, Harry.

Am I barking up the wrong tree?

**********************************************************
Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:38:23 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother

You both clearly have something wrong with your heads..... Spencer quit your passionate homosexual emails to me because I’m straight with a kid etc... And the whole idea of gay makes me cringe....

Julian quit with the ridiculous babble you really are wasting your time now.

Both of you guys... Let’s leave it here... You’re in my junk mail filter now ok... So any emails are on there way there unread and disposed of ethically.

Again... All the best with your ‘making it in the big wide industry’ ... I do hope you manage to afford to sustain a career (in comedy) .... Seriously!

Harry.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:54:28 +0000

LOL!!!!

This can NOT be true.

Spencer, a gaylord? Yeah RIGHT lol

MASSIVE fibber. Shameless. ILLEGAL.

************************************************************
----- Original Message ----
From: Julian Meteor
To: Penelope Miles
Cc: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Sent: Monday, 24 November, 2008 20:11:03 AM
Subject: QUESTION

Hi Penny,

How are you? lol

Remind me, how long have you and Spencer (Fairbrother) been going out together as boyfriend/girlfriend and having full sex etc? I have an IDEAL present I want to give you for your next anniverssary, so I wanted to get the EXACT date.

Let me know,

Julian

________________________________________
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 08:20:41 +0000
From: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: QUESTION
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Dear Julian,

Please don't pester me while I'm at work with your bizarre and intrusive ways.

Spencer and I are fine.

Penny

PS Harry, I am sure Julian didn't mean to CC you. Sorry to bother you.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: QUESTION
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 12:43:11 +0000

There you are: PROOF that Spencer is NOT a gaylord.

Go and email someone else.

Perhaps with an imagination like yours W.G. Rowling could be interested hear your ideas on Harry POTTER'S next adventure...

You thicko.

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:12:03 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother

Oohh Good GOD .... You really are the most uneducated of buffoons aren’t you!

Who in the fuck is W.G Rowling you stupid idiot..... Good god don’t you mean J.K Rowling....???? Do you ever listen to anything but your own drivel?

So I guess again that makes YOU the thicko ... Har har... You’ll never beat the likes of an education sunshine, hands down every time....

You know what... I know you and Spence are gay.... Other people told me.... Nothing to do with you eh...

Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:03:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks

Harry.

Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:30:26 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

YOUR MUM

Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:39:41 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Ha ha, you're such an idiot

I LOVE X FACTOR

2008-11-21T15:11:00.000Z

Sorry I have NOT written this week, but Nan had Sky + installed this week, so ALL I have been doing is watching re-runs of last Saturday's AMAZING performance by Leona TOTAL BABE Lewis on X FACTOR!!!!!! lol What a BRILLIANT show, what a 100% H.O.N.E.Y. lol
Nan NEARLY caught me 'watching it' on her sofa TWICE!!!!! rofl
Quick update on OTHER matters:

Job hunt: Given up (for NOW)
Love life: Just the THREE birds this week - only ONE REpeat, the OTHER two were total freshies... young as!!!! lol
Argyle: You MAY remember I threatened to kill myself if we lost AGAIN on Saturday. LUCKILY we didn't. A 1-0 victory was JUST what the doctor ordered.
Battle of the Bands Competition: do NOT ask.
We decided on Wednesday night that the REASON we haven't had any entrants DESPITE the prize-money was because we are YET to organise a venue.
"Get a venue then, Julian, you prat" they said.
I am NOT a prat.
Turns out the problems we are having with this gig are NOT because I hadn't organised a venue.
_______________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: The Hob
Date: Thursday, 20 November 2008 09:55:23 +0000
Attached: Press Release

Hi Colin,

We're organising a Battle of the Bands in Plymouth and Penny's boyfriend, our bandmate, is offering to put up a LARGE financial prize. I can NOT disclose the figure as it is secret, but a press release will go round shortly.

In short, we have a venue lined up, but we need another one to play off it, so we can negotiate better with them. Cheaper drinks, free door staff, all that type of stuff.

So, how much to hire your venue for the night of the 5th December? How many do you hold?
What 'extras' can you offer (eg coffee, back stage nibbles, free local billboard, REAL groupie, billboard ads etc)

Please let me know, BEFORE 3pm.

Julian

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
Cc: Penelope Miles
Sent: Thursday 20th November 14:23 PM
Subject: RE: The Hob

Any news?

________________________________________
From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 15:19:49 +0100

Hi Julian

Apologies for the delay in replying.

I am afraid the Hub is booked on Friday 5th December.

Kind Regards

Colin

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 20:59:45 +0000

Let me guess... SOMEbody has told you NOT to let us play at your venue.

And I bet that SOMEbody happens to be Harry "I am jealous of Julian's Band and Spencer's money" Link.

Well I hope you are BOTH happy, but do NOT think I didn't guess your pathetic little plan from the MOMENT Colin emailed me back.

TRANSPARENT, that's what you are, Colin. TOOTHLESS and transparent.

Harry has BRAINWASHED you and the Hob is losing money because of it.

I am TOTALLY fed up with the South-West music industry.
Jonathan, you were right - there are MASSIVE problems and the Hob and Harry Link are at the HEAD of them.

Spencer, fuck this competition - it's been ruined.

Sorry to write to you all at once, but the internet caf is clos

Sent: Thursday 20th November 21:15
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Julian, people are actually starting to laugh about your band mate.... I’d wind yer neck in with the comments and take a little look at yerself son.... You’re not all that, are you really.

‘Jealous’, is the funniest comment so far.... Ha ha ha ....

As for your competition... OMG... People are doubled over with pain..... It’s so funny... Your guy Spencer clearly can’t get a gig....

So he’s buying himself one in the form of a competition he plans to fix to win himself....

People are laughing mate.... Really laughing ...

Ohhh well, better wish you good luck with your staged, fixed competition with ONLY entries that YOU want to compete with ....haaaaa hah ah ah ah a....

From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 10:37:30 +0100

I have no idea who Harry Link is!!

get the name of our venue right!!

I did reply you had another venue and my venue is booked as I stated.

see you at the millbridge on the 30th

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:31:15 +0000

Ha - excellent! All the proof I need to confirm my hunch that he is a NO ONE!!! Cheers Colin.

Apologies, Harry TOLD me it was called the Hob. I have now learned it is the Hub. Blame him!

No worries re the venue. Isn't that Esha Ness's night at the Millbridge? I am pretty sure that me and the rest of the band will be down to check out the competition!! Do many birds normally go there? I am on one HELL of a run LOL!!!!!

See you there - you can buy me a beer while we laugh about Harry - WHOEVER HE IS!!!

Cheers

Jules

________________________________________
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:51:03 +0100
Subject: FW: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; chamilton23@btinternet.com

Of course I did Julian, even after a successful couple of gigs down there with my band, I still call the place the Hob, even though Hob actually is what you might call it being a chief and that....

Mate, for the last time, it's call the Hub....

OK?

You might want to read your email to me below....

I’m in pain with laughter... Could this really get any better...... I seriously feel I’m being punked...

Ha haha...

Regards.

PS, Colin, thought you’d like to read this one too (below).

Harry. x

--------Forwarded Message------
From: Julian Meteor
Date: 15th November 2008 15:10:34 +0000
To: Harry Link
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!

Hi Harry,

Long time no speak etc
Have you ever heard of a venue called the Hob? Need to get in touch with them URGENTLY. I'm in a RIGHT pickle here, can you help me out, mate?

J

Sent: Friday 21st November 15:23:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob

Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks

Harry.

ABSOLUTELY FUMING

2008-11-13T13:32:00.001Z

It is NOT often that I'm in a bad mood, but today I AM. We put on a MASSIVE event for the people of Plymouth, offer HUGE prize-money, send out POLITE invitations, and what do we get? NOTHING but shit.
Ok, ok I am a BIT pissed off that NO jobs have come my way this week - is the credit crunch getting worse? It that POSSIBLE? I thought a credit crunch was when unemployment reached its MAXIMUM POSSIBLE capacity.
But what would I know.

Suffice to say ALL I have to look forward to is a road trip (TBA) up to Coventry for Argyle's next game. If we lose THAT, then I MAY smash up my drums.
I have included some of the TYPICAL correspondence I have had concerning this ill-fated Battle of the Bands, JUST so you don't think I am a big MOODY lol (that was NOT a genuine laugh. It's just a habit).

From: Julian Meteor
To: ladependence@hotmail.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk; pjpepper@hotmail.com; poundofmusic@yahoo.com
Subject: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:09:27 +0000

Hi Guys,

I am currently organising a Battle of the Bands in Plymouth to be staged in the coming month.

Winners will receive £10,000 and there will be only four bands playing five tracks each.

My band 'The Argyle Style' will of course be entering, but the judges will be independent.

Interested?

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 2008 18:01:13 +0000

Hi Julian,

Yes my band is interested, let me know asap for dates so I can book my band’s gigs around it.

Thankyou

Jonathan (Esha Ness)

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 10:10:56 +0000

Jonathan,

The delay in getting back to me HARDLY implies you are interested now does it?
It looks to me like you would turn up, give a half-hearted performance to the crowd I have organised, then expect to pick up an appearance fee.
I've seen it all before.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 13:22:17 +0000

Julian,

I have been discussing this matter with the rest of my band and Liam, the guitarist was meant to email you back. We decided there was no point in everybody emailing you.
I have been doing research on the competition and I have found that there is nothing anywhere - I have googled it and everything. I would like you to explain to me how there is no coverage of the competition, if it is indeed for 10 thousand pounds. Sounds a bit odd to me.
Also, we have emailed you and asked for details about the competition and we didn't even get a date for the event in your reply. All I wanted was to find out if this was a genuine offer or not. The whole thing doesn’t seem very professional or organised, does it?

Jonathan

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:36:41 +0000

I sometimes wonder why I bother putting on these fucking events for the people of Plymouth.
Hardly seems worth it when I get 'admin' like this.

I wish you good luck in your next comp. Hopefully the prize money will be enough to buy you a new pair of Doc Martens.

Go and look another gift horse in the mouth,

Julian

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:02:04 +0000

Good luck to you. I’m glad I’m not going to be associated with you after the likes of that. You seem like a moody sod. I play drums, my teacher was taught by Jimmi Marshall founder of Marshall amplifiers. I’ve never heard of you so you can’t be that good anyway. But best of luck to you and your shitty Battle of the Bands. With 4 bands wtf? lol.
Hardly a battle, more like a tea party.
I’ve never seen your band advertised anywhere. So as far as I’m concerned you’re shit! I don’t care about you or your little 'battle'.

Enjoy it. I’ll make sure we put on our website you’re the biggest goon of Plymouth and get some feedback from our fans.

Bye

Jonathan (a member of a real band)

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:29:14 +0000

EMI will never sign you.

I have just made sure of that.

I HATE people like you who think the world owes them a favour.

Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:44:21 +0000
From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

erm excuse me, I would like to know how u have made sure they won’t sign us? What lies have u told? And since when did I say the world owes me a favour, all I have done is look out for the welfare of my band, you are the person who has not made any effort, we ask for information and u can't even give us a date.. no time, no place and not even a date! How is that being co-operative??

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 16:15:47 +0000

5th December.

You in?

Only one place left.

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 12:09:27 +0000

So in a few weeks! Might want to make a plan then lol?, have you got a place at all and do you need any help organising this?

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:16:33 +0000

I can only go by what I am told.

My bandmate Jally (Jacques-Antoine) is sorting it.

Jally, do you need help? This nice guy is offering.

Let me know,

Julian

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:49:27 +0000

Alright julian

Any news or anything?

Let me know when you can

Jonathan

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
CC: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 16:09:44 +0000

Any nouvelles, Jally?

Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 17:03:55 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

Julian, I make my best, but I have evil at the time because the concert halls not very nice at this time in the region of Devon. Can be Jonathan say the best to me come to contact to make this event?
The life is much easier in France! I find the English sometimes can be most unhelpful and ignorant.

Jonathan, please say it to me if so; or if no,

J-A

Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2008 09:01:36 +0000
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

I take it you two are chatting amongst yourselves? I am WAY too busy to be dealing with this stupid competition.

Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2008 09:09:27 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

No. I wait for lazy Ben to contact me.
I can read the mind of this man. He is not interested where his can not make the silver.

From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk, ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:16:41 +0000

Hi, Sorry , I got your emails that you guys were sending to each other
I’m afraid me and my band would like nothing to do with this battle of the bands anymore. You have pointlessly insulted me enough. £10,000 or not I’d rather pay than to have nothing to do with you two bitching people. You obviously think you are professionals in this business. I think my band are too good and too nice to have anything to do with it.

Good luck with it

Jonathan

Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:20:31 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

I think you make the excuse because you miss the deathline for entry.

Please tell me if it is so; or if no

From: Jonathan Samuelle
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:39:47 +0000
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte

No for the last, time i cant understand a fucking word you say in your emails

You two either just lie your way around, or have no fucking clue what you are doing with any of this. The fucking leaders or pixie land day circus can do a better job than anything you can achieve!

"I think you make the excuse because you miss the deathline for entry"

What the fuck does that mean? I am very pissed off at the fact you guys keep emailing me, I want FUCK ALL!!!! to do with you pair of unorganised twats.
Yes my guess is that no-one wants to help because you guys are shit at making friends. One of you can’t even fucking write English!

In fact you two are sooooooooooooo shit that you actually emailed what you were supposed to be emailing to each other, to me! My god if you’re that shit on a computer these days you must be wank at everything haha. So yes, for the last time go fuck yourselves, I don’t want another email from you tossers again. I am a rocker, I play rock. I’m not some pansy liar that thinks that how you approach someone is via emails. It’s wankers like you, yes you Julian, that make the Southwest music industry suck, because you’re shit at organisation and obviously shit at your instrument.

Good bye knob cheeses

********************************************************************

Competition struggles to find entrants

2008-11-10T21:37:00.000Z

"EVERY no is CLOSER to a yes" they always tell us. This is what I KEEP telling myself. I ALWAYS try to stay positive.
Another one is: "Attitude is contagious, is YOURS worth catching?" - Justin Langer (Australian Cricketer)
This is ALL well and good, but when you have been applying for jobs for MONTHS and can't EVEN get an interview, I STRUGGLE to stay positive.
Saying that, I was the ONLY one in the crowd at Home Park on Saturday who STILL believed the MIGHTY Argyle would equalise when we did in the last minute Vs Charlton on Saturday!!!! lol
ANOTHER piece of positive news aside from Plymouth Argyle and their 'never say die' attitude (I'm on a ROLL here lol) is that Spencer has made a a website!!!!!!
www.julianmeteor.com
THAT, my friends, means that I am OFFICIALLY successful. He has NOT asked me for any money for it yet, so I HOPE he forgets!!!! pmsl

Elsewhere my WHOLE week is being taken up by this Battle of the Bands idea.
On paper a VERY good idea; in REALITY, shithouse.
NOone wants in. Too scared, I reckon.
I have added some more to my blog entry of last week where we ALMOST got down to negotiation stage with Cupid Green (but didn't) and here is ANOTHER example (sent to a LOCAL band whose name I have HAD to change as I do NOT want to give them OR their new spin-off ANY free publicity) of SNOTTY-nosed South-West bands turning their NOSES up for NO REASON at our BRILLIANT and GENEROUS idea:

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:17:03 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com;
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

To Bear From Hell,

I am make to contact you from the recommendation.

My band with friend organisateur Spencer Fairbrother make the competition battle to the bands in Decembre.

Can you make entry not pay but possible if win big can be not work again for some month?

Please take the attach, eat it, then take some time with the decide. Not later before Wednesday. I urgent you.

Tell me if it is a so; or if it is a no,

J-A

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:57:03 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

We are no longer a band.
Check out our new band 'Mercury Shocker' at www.myspace.com/mercuryshocker

Will

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:00:01 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

Ok.

You sound exact the same so I can not know why you are change the name.

Mercury Shocker must play the Battle of the Bands?

There is the BIG money to win.

Tell me if it is so; or if it is no,

J-A

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:13:22 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

Need to know more details first :)
When?
Where?
What other bands are playing?
Set length?

thanks

Will

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:23:04 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

5 Decembre
Plymouth
Secret
Everyone else play 5 song. You must play two because crowd very possible hate your music.

I send the form of entry for you?

Tell me if it is so; or if it is no,

J-A

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:44:11 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

haha thanks!
whereabouts in plymouth?
yeah send the form

Will

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:39:34 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I was not make the joke.

Please fill attachment send back before the end of time.

J-A

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:55:04 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

Yes, and I wasn't genuinely laughing.
Where in Plymouth is it?

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:48:09 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

Not more question. You are nerving me. It is unprofessional.

Make the form filled, if not I cancel you participation.

You wonker.

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:01:11 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

Fuck off.

******************************************************************

Battle of the Bands

2008-11-06T12:46:00.000Z

FINALLY some good news. No, NOT the election of Barack Obama (although Nan is VERY happy about this - she went out with a black man in the 60s; she's SO not over him). No, the good news I was REFERRING to is that DESPITE the credit crunch Spencer has AGREED to stump up the cash as prize money for the Battle of the Bands we are organising.
Hopefully THIS will be a chance to SHOWCASE the talents of the Argyle Style!!! lol
Jally is in charge of SELECTING which bands can enter, but understandably he's had some SKEPTICAL responses - I DOUBT with his drive and dtermination this will be a MAJOR problem long-term.
I asked Jally to send me the email correspondence to check on his progress...

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 10:18:43 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition
CC: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

To Elliot,

I am make to contact you from the recommendation.

My band with friend organisateur Spencer Fairbrother make the competition battle to the bands in Decembre.

Can you make entry not pay but possible if win big can be not work again for some month?

Please take the attach, eat it, then take some time with the decide. Not later before Thursday. I urgent you.

Tell me if it is so; or if it is a no,

J-A

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 11:53:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

Hi

Thanks for your email, what date did you want us to play?, i need to check with the other guys, if you want you can call me on 07*********

Thanks

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 10:57:06 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I make not the telephone. My English are perfect on the email, but very bad during the telephone!

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 11:18:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

Ok what date in December did you want us to play?

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 12:23:43 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I make not promise that you play.

Only promise that you possible play. Do not make the assume.

In France we say "Man who make assume, be the foolish man. The foolish man fall often down the ravine".

5 of Decembre.

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 13:26:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

We are 130 miles/ 203Km away from from Plymouth, so we can't come if we are not definitely playing, it will take 3.5 hours to drive there, so as long as we are playing, it will be fine. Why can you not say whether we are definitely playing or not?

Also I cannot read the attachment, where is the gig?

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:01:26 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I am lose 100% the patience with this now.
I am make the impression that Cupid Green is the poor recommend.

Make the note - Cupid Green to make hire the Band Manager before the band is lose too much gigs.

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:44:18 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I suggest you brush up on your English as it is very hard to understand what you are saying, you have given no venue details and a scanned image you can't read. It doesn't seem like a very reputable gig, as you have given no details of it and want me to agree that the band will come with the chance of not playing.

P.S. I am the Manager.

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:52:59 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

Fuck to YOU

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 15:05:38 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

GOOD ENGLISH YOU FRENCH FUCKER!!!!

****************** CONTINUES*************************************

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:41:02 +0000

Hi Tommy,

My co-organiser passed me on your info.

You'll be glad to know you have been shortlisted for the gig!

Please take five minutes to fill in the excel sheet so we can get to work on the event program.

Any questions feel FREE to ask,

P-Sout,

Julian

From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:01:13 +0000

Sorry, due to the rude and unprofessional manor of your colleague, Cupid Green will not be entering the competition.

Many Thanks

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:11:49 +0000

Hmm, you are NOT the first to mention this.

He IS French. Were you aware of this? I think sometimes because his English is so good, people don't allow for losses in translation, they just assume he is like us.
Are you SURE you have not just misinterpreted?

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:16:49 +0000

Where did you hear about Cupid Green, where will the competition take place?

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:42:13 +0000

You'll have to ask Jacques-Antoine (cc'd) - he is our official researcher.

We have two venues lined up. Kind of playing them off each other. BOTH are in Plymouth and this SHOULD be confirmed by the weekend.

So, you're interested?

Let me know; either way asap (as soon as possible)

Julian

From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:01:49 +0000

I make the find Cupid Green using internet.

I make the google:

Search: Bands who make the sound like many cars using their klaxon during the traffic jam.

This band is first answer!!!!!!

I make myself death with laughter!

From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:16:03 +0000

Thanks for the offer, but no thanks, have a good competition, hope it all goes as you want it to .

Many Thanks

*******************************************************************

VOTE FOR CHARLOTTE THOMSON!!!!

2008-11-03T13:29:00.001Z

HI Friends,
As some of you MAY know I have developed a BIT of a soft spot for a certain (ACTUAL) honey. An FHM HIGH STREET HONEY.
Her name is Charlotte Thomson and she is a B.A.B.E. lmao
I am BEGGING you all to vote for her by texting to vote
To do this, you can text FHM 62 to 86145
You can ALSO vote online here.

It would be a great help to ME too as I have been getting on with her RATHER well on facebook... using the FAMOUS Meteor charm lol.
SADLY her boyfriend found out and went MENTAL. DEFO fells threatened by me. Who WOULDN'T be??? pmsl

Jack ******* to Julian Meteor 1st November at 9:07am
Why dont you fuck off you wanker!!!! shes my girlfriend leave me alone!!! and do me a favour...........get a life!!!! i pity you, i really do!!!! go and have another wank......xxx

Julian Meteor wrote to Jack ******* at 9:59am on 1st November
LOL! Who stole the jam from YOUR doughnut? You are obviously feeling a little threatened by the Meteor! Good luck Char- i do think she'll win by the way x

Jack ******* wrote to Julian Meteor on 1st November at 10:49am
Do you know what it takes to go out with someone like charlotte!!!

let me tell you,

firstly luck because i am greatful for everyday we are together. she is the most beautiful person on the out side and the inside i have ever met.

i am myself and dont hide behind 'facebook' to try and come on to girls. maybe if you acted mature and yourself you might lose your virginity???

maturity??? im not gunna try and explain that to you.

a sense of humor (which i have but when you get dick heads like you writing fucking stupid silly little comments every fucking day it gets to me)
charlotte is trying her hardest to build her career and she wants loads of support not pricks like you giving her hassles!!!! after all this is her job!!!

looks.............(because after all you dont wanna lie in bed with someone your not attracted to) let me tell you for someone who dosnt even put a pic up of themselves you dont really fit the bill.

goodbye....best of luck.

p.s. fuck off!!!

Jack

Julian Meteor to Jack ******* 1st November at 2:53pm
You need to get in the gym fat boy. There is NO way you'll keep hold of the porn star when she makes it big time. She'll get an Argyle player before you know it! Or me.

Jack ******* to Julian Meteor 1st November at 3:08pm
How dare you call her a porn star you you fucking sad little nerd go sit behind your computer wank all over girls you will never get i excersise everyday and look after myself im not the one whos a fat spotty nerd with no life no girl friend and my virgintiy still intact...............oh and did i miss out unemployed????? hahaha your sad. if i see you carrying a big issue anytime soon im not gunna be suprised hahahahaha fatboy you make me laugh. mate, dont forget char is here with me so reads every email you send. p.s. fuck you!!! xxxx

Julian Meteor to Charlotte Thomson 1st November at 3:21pm
What is HIS problem! I wish he'd stop going on about his muscles. I BET i can bench much more anyway. Fancy a drink sometime? X

Charlotte Thomson to Julian Meteor 1st November at 3:49pm
He is my boyfriend and i think you need to leave us both alone now. No i dont fancy a drink, frankly you have been rude and i really dont appreciate some of your comments.

Desperation: Trying to get my OLD job back

2008-10-29T09:14:00.000Z

QUESTION: What do you do if finding a NEW job is proving tough?
ANSWER: Re-apply for your OLD job
Sadly friends, luck was NOT on my side in this case. It LOOKS like the old summer camp company I USED to work for in the USA have fallen on hard times AS WELL. Either that or I picked the WRONG time to apply for a summer job. EITHER WAY, there was NOTHING I could have done to avoid this latest setback.
So, it's back to the drawing board.
I am meeting the guys tonight for band practice and I am going to pitch my LATEST brainwave:
As you know the Argyle Style was HOPING to be a MAJOR, well-paid band by now, but this has NOT materialsed yet. SO, I am going to suggest to Spencer that we organise a Battle of the Bands with BIG MONEY (his, LOL) at stake for the winners!!!!!!
WATCH THIS SPACE.

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:21:09

Hi - I am looking for a new chef job on of your camps. I have a LOT of relevant experience. Please let me know when you want to interview me.

Regards,

Julian Meteor

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:41:02
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com

Submit cv to apply

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:21:09

Dear Mrs Girder,

Please find my CV. I am sure you will agree I am MORE than equipped to do this job. I am available ANY day next week for interview.

Come on baby light my fire!!!!! Rofl

Julian

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:01:02
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com

Julian

Did you leave Funcamp USA on good terms? Can you send me your ID number along with the name of the camp where you were based then I will find out from Chicago head office if you are eligible for re hire.

Many thanks

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:41:19

NO COMMENT !!!!! LMAO!!!!

Can you let me know; either way?

J

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:06:56
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com

Well, unless you can be more specific then it doesn't look like I will be able to help.

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:18:10

Can you treat me as a new applicant as if I have NEVER worked for them?

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:41:47
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com

No, because I have read the information on your CV.

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:56:22

It's really frustrating. If the 'incident' had happened just ONE year later, I would still be working for them. Frankly though, I don't regret it.... THOSE melons lol!!! So, what do you say? Shall we give this another go?

***No Reply***

The aftermath of Spencer's birthday

2008-10-26T20:29:00.000Z

Saturday was a day of two halves. Argyle lost at home to Ipswich - the LESS saiod about THAT the better; but Spencer's birthday was an EPIC!!!! BELIEVE me when I say this readers... gay clubs are THE place to go to chase AND GET women. Spencer was BANG on.
ALL eight of us got some action. Spencer CLAIMS to have got some but I ONLY saw him talking to men all night lol!!!
I took a girl called Angie back to Nan's!!!!!
I will NOT be seeing her again!!! lol She was DISGUSTING.
I wrote to Ray to think him for his hospitality. What a LOVELY guy.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 28 Oct 2008 15:45
To: Ray Johns
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol

Hi Ray,

Just to say, we had an ABSOLUTE blinder at Zeros on Saturday. There were only eight of us in the end, so four groups of two, staggered entry, holding hands, not too drunk (UNTIL LATER ON!!!!) and we got in fine!!!
Spencer and I are off to London tomorrow night, so I was wondering is there a Zeros there too?
We're thinking "why change a winning formula!!!" (read between the lines lol)
(we all got laid)

Any ideas?

J

From: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Date: 28 Oct 2008 15:52:19 +0100

Sorry there is no Zeros in London. We are an independently owned club. Glad you had a good night, you should of said hi. How many of you got laid with a guy??? Hmmmmm, I bet your answer is none, I’ll have to check the c.c.t.v. Hahahaha.

Have fun in London, you can always try XXL or G.A.Y. but if you carry on one of you will end up curious ;-) rofl

Ray.

Spencer's Birthday Plans

2008-10-23T19:09:00.001+01:00

Had band practice last night. It is a TRAVESTY that the public is YET to hear the dark, heavy, lyrically genius songs of the Argyle Style, but OUR TIME HAS COME.
Penny wasn't there (THANKfully), so we were missing a backing singer (B.O.T.H.E.R.E.D) and someone to seep NEGATIVITY into an OTHERWISE positive gang.
Spencer ALSO pointed out that it's his borthday on Saturday night, so I, being a TRUE bezzy mate offered to organise a lads night out.
I came up (SLIGHTLY by accident) with a MASTERstroke. Zeros Nightclub in Plymouth.
My run of form with the HONEYS of Plymouth (BAD REP???? ME???? lol) looks CERTAIN to continue...

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: clubadmin@zerosnightclub.co.uk
Sent: Thurs, Oct 2, 2008 11:17 AM
Subject: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol

YO YO YO!!!!

Are you open on Saturday night for a MAJOR night of birthday fun for my mate Spencer's birthday??????????? There are 12 boys, ALL up for a GREAT night out of the pull!!!!!!!

Can we reserve an area? And what sort of TCHEEEEONWNS do you play????? lol

Let me know; either way,

Julian

________________________________________
From: ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 200813:03:56 +0100

Hi Julian.

We are always up for a party here!! We are open Saturday night from 10.30pm - 5.00am! Just so there is no confusion, I trust you are aware that this is a diverse club for all sexualities but predominantly gay.

We have three floors, open on Saturday which consist of 2 dance floors, 2 DJ's and 2 bars. On the main floor you will find your favourite R&B and commercial dance tracks such as The Freemasons - Uninvited, Timbaland - The Way I Are and Madonna - Four Minutes whilst Upstairs in our "Cheese Factory" you will find our resident DJ Daron playing cheese pop and party music from the eighties, ninties and noughties, such as, Kylie - Wow, Abba - Gimme Gimme Gimme and Backstreet Boys - Everybody.

Unfortunately, we do not have any area that we can currently reserve for you (We are in the process of adding ANOTHER floor to the club but it is still at an early stage) , however, if you come and find myself or my assistant manager Dave, we will sort you out with some bubbly to get your party swinging ;-) I will be in a suit and Dave will be in a shirt and tie.

May I ask what age Spencer will be? Please remember that it is over 18's only. If any of your party look under 25 BRING I.D. If they are challenged about their age at the door there is a strict policy of NO I.D. NO ENTRY. Even if the person in question is actually 50 the decision will not be overturned by anyone.

Please respect the club and all of it's customers and staff. Any offensive discriminating behaviour whether it be homophobic, racial, sexual etc WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, this is an attitude free club, for the comfort of all of our customers.

I look forward to seeing your group in the club, and may I pass my birthday wishes on to Spencer. Have a great safe night.

Ray Johns,
Manager
Zeros Nightclub
24 Lockyer Street
Plymouth
Devon
PL1 2QW
01752 662346
www.zerosnightclub.co.uk

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
CC: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:23:57 +0000

Hi Ray!!!!!!!!

Thanks a LOT for getting back to me!!!!!!

One problem: I did NOT know this was a gay club????!!!!! I was there only about a month ago and didn't notice???!!!!! LMAO I had a CRACKING night... got SMASHED!!!! The barman was PLYING me with beers lol!!!! Top MAN!!!!

Anyway, I have CC'd Spencer.... Spencer - what do you think, shall we give this place a go???? Sounds like a good vibe????

J

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:31:46 +0000

Hi Julian, Hi Ray,

I think this is a fantastic idea. Gay clubs are known to be a haven for pulling straight girls, so definitely count me/us in.

The way it works is this: Girls get dumped for being dappy/unpredictable/mental/having no hobbies and they get all upset. This puts them OFF men for a period of about 18 months.
During this time, they USUALLY have a gay friend from work who takes them under their wing. They start socialising etc... he takes her out with his mates to these types of places and usually toward the end of this cycle they are ripe for the picking.
Ratios in gay bars are usually 40% women, so in a capacity of 300, that's 120 straight birds. 50% (that's 60) of these straight birds haven't had ANY cock in about 9 months. Therefore 30 birds are milling around who have NOT had any for a flippin YEAR!!!!

There's ONLY 12 of us?//???!!!!! If we don't pull, SERIOUS questions MUST be asked!!!

Ray - can I give you guestlist names?

Cheers,

Spencer

From: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
CC: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 15:37:36 +0100

Hi Guys. Whilst we welcome everyone with the right attitude, your pulling figures are way off. You have neglected to account for the lesbians within the club who you will just be an annoyance to, as well as the fact that there are a lot of straight couples that come to the club so they can get away from the hassles of straight bars.

We do not operate a guest list as our charge on the door goes towards our security costs so that we can maintain our almost trouble free, safe environment.

If you do choose to come be warned that our door security personnel will not admit anyone who "in their opinion" is too intoxicated, nor will they admit groups of straight guys that appear to have the "wrong attitude". Whilst this may sound harsh, this is the way that we have built our reputation and maintain the safety of all our customers. We are the only gay club in the city so please understand that our priority is to make sure our gay clientele do not feel as though they do not belong here. There are plenty of clubs around Plymouth where our customers can go and feel threatened and unwelcome, Zeros wil not become one of them.

Many thanks and I wish you a trouble free enjoyable evening.

Ray.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Date: Fri, 23 May 2008 14:49:11 +0000

Thanks for your FEEDBACK RAY!!!!

So you're saying we need to ACT gay and SOBER to get past the bouncers????? Thanks for the tip!!!!! The SECOND one will be harder than the first eh Spence you campo!!!!

We're NOT the types to be anti-social... and you SEEM like a great guy, so I'm sure the club has YOUR attitude.

Look forward to it!

J

***************************************************************

The Job break I DESERVED

2008-10-21T11:08:00.001+01:00

I do NOT know what's going to happen with the band now. I saw the guys in the Brit last night and we agreed that there are more PRESSING matters at hand at the moment (like ME finding a job lol), so we've put it on the back burner. Jally is annoyed cos he stands NO chance of getting a job when he can't even speak English!!!!! lmao (that's ONE less foreigner to worry about stealing my job!!!! rofl)
Talking of jobs, I THOUGHT my luck had changed this week. I sent out a NUMBER of applications a while ago and MOST of them were SO rude they didn't even write back. Then, out of the BLUE comes an email back a response which I, being the SHREWD entrepreneur that I am ASSUMED was some kind of scam. I quickly sussed it out then ALMOST agreed terms to work with her.

*****Original Message sent in July********
From: Julian Meteor
To: < info@rosatradingandco.co.uk>
Sent: Mon, 30 Jul 2008 13:17:40 +0000
Subject: VERY INTERESTED lol

Hi Rosie,

I am VERY interested in your pyramid selling idea. I COULD be the IDEAL way to supplement my income.

PLEASE tell me more,

Julian
********************************************************************
...and then her response(s) yesterday/today

To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: Re: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:22:05 +0100

Hi Julian,

Sorry but we have somehow not seen this email from you sent back in July.

If you wish to know more information then please have a look at our website www.rosastradingandco.co.uk under Agents Wanted.

We no longer run the No Stock required option due to increases in our manufacturing and import costs hence why we have the agent kits which are still offered at exceptional value for money considering what you get and can resell at.

Have a look on the website and if still interested then let me know - we are getting lots of requests for the kits with the start of xmas fast approaching. Our products do sell very well and with the latest addition of our Instant Snow - Snow real and also with 4 NEW colours coming out in November of the Deco Beads the products will do really well for you and could increase your income enabling you to treat your family to a fantastic xmas.

Have a think about it - if you need clarification on any of the above or the information contained on the website, I am only a phone call away.

Call me on 01473 ****** anytime.

best wishes

Rosa
ROSA TRADING & CO
www.rosastradingandco.co.uk

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:09:03 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Rosie,

Forgive me for pointing this out, but replying to my email THREE months late does NOT fill me with confidence.

Give me ONE good reason why I should drop EVERYTHING and come and run your company.

Julian

----- Original Message -----
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 21:52:51 +0100
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Julian

Thanks for your email - it would appear that your subject heading "Very Interested lol" was considered SPAM and sent to our spam inbox. It was only that I was checking our SPAM box as someone else had sent us an email and it too had gone in our SPAM folder that I noticed it. I do aplogise for not replying sooner.

We are a reputable business with satisfied agents and customers who have ordered from either our Trade Shows, website or from one of our Agents around the UK.

We do not pressure you to join us so the choice is completely up to you. The Agents page explains everything we offer.

I am NOT even asking you to drop everything to join us - or even RUN our company....I was simply replying to your email - although late - at least you can see that we respond to everyone who is in contact with us.

Best wishes

Rosa (NOT Rosie!)
ROSA TRADING & CO
www.rosatradingandco.co.uk
Tel 01473 ******
Mob Tel 07*** ******

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: < mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk>
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 09:12:23 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Any news?

To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: Fwd: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2008 15:45:48 +0100

Thank you for your email asking any news???

I sent this reply last night if you have a look at the time.

Maybe like us your email has decided to stick this reply in your SPAM folder.

Regards

Rosa

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:21:25 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Rosie,

After SEVERAL weeks looking for a job with NO LUCK how do YOU expect ME to believe that the credit crunch is SUDDENLY over and I am wanted to go and run a WHOLE company?

PULL the other one.

Is this a wind up?

Let me know; EITHER way,

Julian

To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:12:31 +0100

OK Julian

I have been respectful and upfront with you but your tone of email shows you are quite upset with life in general.

So here goes.....................

NO this is NOT a wind up.....we are a genuine business with several agents working for us throughout the UK! If anyone should be asking is this a wind up it should be me....are you for real???

I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO BELIEVE the credit crunch is over .....I NEVER SAID THAT!!!!!!!! What I said is that we can hep you earn a part time salary if you wanted to take onboard our product range and sell it to family and friends locally. I never said I would turn you into a millionaire or that this is going to be the BEST job ever....Get your facts right!!!

AND I DO NOT WANT YOU TO "RUN" MY COMPANY........in fact with your attitude I would be very surprised if you EVER found a job!!!!

I have explained the situation and what happened with your original email. - there is NO NEED to be rude by email. If you are not able to accept my reasons for the late response then I suggest you get over your bitterness and take it out on someone who cares. I gave you my reason for a late response. If we are not forgiven then tough luck - unlike you I will not dwell or lose sleep over it!

What goes around comes around so please accept MY RUDENESS BACK!

I would NOT employ you even if I wanted to. We do not recruit agents who appear to be rude. If you are rude to me the person that would employ you and pay your salary I would hate to think how rude you would be to someone who likes what you have to offer, product-wise, but doesn't buy!!!

If you want to join us then the CHOICE is yours - not mine - I will not pressure you to joining nor will I try and convince you otherwise. We are a no hard sell business whether we are recruiting agents or selling our products. That is NOT our style. I have several people working for us who enjoy working for us and who earn good part time money to afford the small things in life and these people are NOT rude like you and they do not send emails like yours.

I am NOT asking you to drop everything and come and run my business like you say - I am capable of doing that myself without offending anyone unlike you so why would I risk having you RUN the business??? So you can drive customers away and annoy people....??? I don't think so.

I bid you GOOD LUCK in your job search and lets leave it at that!

Rosa.....BY THE WAY .....MY NAME IS ROSA.....maybe learn to read and spell?????

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Tue, 21 Sep 2008 16:45:16 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

FEISTY lol!!!!

Look, I LIKE your style and I MAY reconsider.

Let's meet for dinner to discuss.

I do NOT care what you look like (BELIEVE ME I have done some HEFFERS lol), but you will DEFO fancy me.

What are you doing Friday?

Let me know; etc,

Julian

PS VWE, & CAN travel

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:22:03 +0100

I can not believe your email!!

I would not meet you for dinner if you were the last man on the planet - VWE or not!

I am no Heffer thank you and I doubt I would fancy you as I am happily married to a gorgeous guy and have produced a beautiful daughter!

Get over yourself!!!

Good luck with your job hunting!!

Rosa

By the way my husband who also runs this business with me read your email and thinks you need counselling!

-----Original Message-----
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:42:45 +0100
To: mail@rosastradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Rose + husband,

May I point out that your business plan is flawed? You send UNSOLICITED emails to people, BEGGING them to work for you, THEN you abuse them telling them EVEN if they were the last person on the planet you would NOT date them. I mean, GET A LIFE.

THEN, you question their/my manhood - WHAT relevance is this? Do let me know.

I do not know HOW you are managing to maintain your business. You wouldn't last a MINUTE on Dragons' Den.

Yours, AMAZED the credit crunch hasn't hit you yet with THAT attitude,

Julian

PS This correspondence is SO absurd and surreal that I am going to put it on my blog.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:16:29 +0100

Dear Julian,

Thanks again for your message ....you don't give up do you!!!

My business plan is not flawed as you state!

I NEVER sent you unsolicited mail......YOU sent ME an email back in JULY.....REMEMBER???????? we do not send unsolicited mail to ANYONE.....YOU CONTACTED US....GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!!!!

As for ABUSING YOU......Well let me remind you of your unsavoury email response:

Look, I LIKE your style and I MAY reconsider. Let's meet for dinner to discuss. I do NOT care what you look like (BELIEVE ME I have done some HEFFERS lol), but you will DEFO fancy me. What are you doing Friday? Let me know; etc, Julian PS VWE,& CAN travel

I question your manhood as YOU bring it up in your email....VWE or what else does VWE stand for these days?????? Why would I go out to dinner with you and where do you get off telling me that I could look like a Heffer and that you don't mind!!! GROW UP!!!

As for Dragons Den - WHY oh WHY would I want to go on there when I have a successful business anyway and without the need of ANYONE to invest into it!!!! I NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANY MONEY TO INVEST IN MY BUSINESS!!!!!

So if anyone needs to GET A LIFE as you put it maybe it should BE YOU!!!!

YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO PUT THIS MESSAGE ON YOUR BLOG....IS THAT THE MADE UP BLOG OF JULIAN'S FANTASY LIFE???? I DO HOPE YOU ADD YOUR EMAIL RESPONSES IN THAT BLOG TOO.

By the way my husband does exist and we are both amazed that you have even sent a reply back!!

Please GET A JOB...stop corresponding with people who are trying to run businesses and WHO really don't appreciate time wasters like you bothering them with STUPID emails!!

BY THE WAY IT'S ROSA AGAIN........LEARN TO WRITE!!!!

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:56:29 +0100
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

SAVE it.

I have TOTALLY gone off you.

I am FED up with JEALOUS partners getting in the way. Yours is NOT the only one to have RUINED my stats for the year.

Now, if you DON'T mind, I am BUSY looking for a job.
UNLESS you have had your head in the sand, we are in the MIDDLE of a credit crunch and your
POINTLESS emails are HINDERING my chances of finding employment.

Julian

PS If you reconsider and are as FIT as you SEEM to think you are - call me

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:15:19 +0100

LISTEN MR UNEMPLOYED CHEF FROM PLYMOUTH....SITTING AT YOUR COMPUTER ALL DAY WRITING POINTLESS BLOGGS ALL OVER THE PLACE.....

TRY GETTING A LIFE - STOP TAKING THE DRUGS AND GET A JOB!!!!

LOOSER!!

Here I come to save the Daaaaaaay!!!! lol

2008-10-16T20:25:00.001+01:00

Jally made a HASH of booking the venue. TOTAL disaster. The problem, I discovered, is that he is FRENCH. I knew this ALREADY, but I FORGOT that we traditionally HATE them. I have therefore had to spend most of last night and a LOT of today sorting out the mess he has left the band with. I had to email Chris from the Strongrooms in Portsmouth and call on ALL the negotiation skills I have learnt from those army job adverts on ITV.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: The Argyle Style
Date: Weds, 15 Oct 2008 19:06:14

Hi Chris,

I've been given your details by my Band Manager.

We're a local band about to embark on a tour up in the North of England (look out - Northern birds ROFL!!!!)

As you may already know, we're looking to play a warm-up gig before we depart, and the GOOD news is we have chosen your venue for the night of the 30th October.

Jacques-Antoine just asked me to get in touch and finalise the financial details, I think he gets a bit stuck when it comes to our currency!!!! Ignorant loser lol

So, roll up your sleeves lol, and let's talk numbers.

What are you offering?

Let me know; etc,

Julian

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 08:57:17
Subject: Re: The Argyle Style
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Sorry Julian,

I don’t pay bands, they play at my venue for free and
there is a 3 month waiting list to do so.

Kind Regards
Chris

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
CC: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 10:37:04

Guys,

It looks like we have our first gig!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOO!!!! LOL

We are pencilled in for the 15th August at The Strong Rooms in Portsmouth for a two hour slot. The reason we are pencilled in is that
Chris (the Boss) has to reschedule a NON-signed band.

The ONLY bad news is Chris is REFUSING to pay us (tight ass ROFL), but we can probably pass a tin round or something after we rock to house with
our first couple of tracks.

Julian

PS Spencer, you owe me a fiver: BRING IT TO BAND PRACTICE ON WEDS

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 13:51
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

The Strong Rooms is not even open on the 30th October, so you are not pencilled in anywhere apart from in your imagination. Perhaps you can get some invisible friends to come to your imaginary gig.
Woooooo Hoooooo

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 14:02

Hi Chris,

Please in future do NOT reply all and show me up like that again.

I was told by my band mate/manager, that the 30th had been "pencilled" in. He actually said something slightly different, but I had to interpret - he's French.

Have I got this all wrong?

Please let me know; either way,

Julian

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:02:26 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

I don’t think the translation was quite correct

"Try DORKSVILLE you wine drinking, onion carrier"

Does NOT translate to

"you have a gig on the 15th at the Strong Rooms in Portsmouth"

So just to clarify, the answer is no

Here is a bigger answer for the hard of hearing

NO

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:34:42 +0000

LOL!!!!

Did you REALLY say that???????? A BIT naughty, but I LITERALLY spat my coffee out when I read that!!!!
I do NOT think you will be on his Christmas card list now!!!!

I best deal with this then. How can we get a gig at your venue in the next two (or three if you insist) months?

Let me know; etc

Julian

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:49:37
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

If you can direct me to a website or myspace with your music on it,
I will check your band out and let you know if suitable for my club

Kind regards
Chris

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 16:07:39

www.myspace.com/theargylestyle

Our web man (Spencer) is supposed to be sorting it. We had a DISASTER last week when ALL our music was stolen off it and copied. So I'm not mad keen on sending it out.
Can we DEFO be guaranteed a slot if you like it? Perhaps I could call you and play it down the phone? Safer lol

Please let me know; either way,

Julian

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 16:15:58 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Sorry can’t do anything until I have heard a demo (and not down the phone lol)

Kind Regards
Chris

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:28:26 +0000

LOOK BUSTER, we are a SIGNED band, not just some two-bob outfit looking to have a laugh.

I just spoke to Jacques-Antoine, he SAID you were difficult. I put it down to him being FOREIGN, but now I can see you are RUDE, difficult and arrogant even with NORMAL people.

Can you let me know either way?

Julian

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:30:54
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

OK, which label are you signed to??

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:42:26

Parlophone. You may not have heard of them. Your classic Radio 1/Virgin listener doesn't know some of the more underground labels.

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:51:43 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

They forgot to add you to the list then???

http://www.parlophone.co.uk

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:36:16

Chris,

There is NO point getting shitty with me. I made you a kind offer that WOULD have brought your place significant publicity. We ALL know how much financial trouble your venue has been in recently. I appreciate you do not normally deal with the larger bands but sometimes we NEED to play the crappy venues to try new sounds etc. Sometimes we cannot afford for the press to get wind of such gigs. Don't say we didn't give you a chance. To be honest, I am fucking pissed off about this but don't you think you owe it to your customers to get a decent name from time to time? Perhaps you MAY have (finally) got laid as a result!!! LOL!!! I am not going to give you any more chances. You know where I am. Start begging "big" dog and I may NOT tell Parlophone about you and your student bar.

Let me know

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:45:22 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Parlophone are very interested in your previous statements and your emails have been passed to their fraud department, Unfortunately as you requested payment, the police will now also be involved as impersonating a signed band to obtain money by deception is in fact a criminal act.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:50:18 +0000

The France Tourist Board is interested in YOUR comments as well.

I meant Sony. I ALWAYS get the two mixed up lmao

Look, we offered (RELUCTANTLY) to play for free, so let's not get the police involved in what would become a joint Racism-Fraud case; because YOU would lose.

NO more mucking around. CAN WE PLAY YOUR VENUE OR NOT?

________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:40:54
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Sorry, too late and tell the wine drinking, onion carrier that the French Tourist Board
can be contacted at www.francetourism.com

The police are already involved and are monitoring your emails as we speak, you could
always say it was a practical joke that went badly wrong?

Kind Regards
Chris

********************************************************************************

Jally takes over as Band Manager

2008-10-15T19:19:00.000+01:00

I got these from Jally's inbox. His first day of work as Band Manager for our band The Argyle Style. The SOON-To-BE biggest band in the WORLD!!!!!!!!! lmao

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 8:48 AM
Subject We play your venue please?

Dear Chris,

I am Band Manager English band for "The Argyle Style" and I play bassist of the guitar. Our band am sign with a large enterprise about disc, well know to be of course in United Kingdom. You are knowing?

We are going making a concert at the Southern West England before do check out north of for making maybe a tour. Can you interessed has ourselves band play with venue your?

We have not him silver do you pay but thanksggiving am able a large experience has ourselves abide car we are most famous in South England.

Please say if so; or if no

Thank you,

J-A

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:09 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Do you have a myspace of the music?
We do not pay

Thanks
Chris

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:21 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

You not to pay not? How that this fact? We are very known and that can gain you much money if you can be more flexible with your regulations perhaps?

If you like it could you relook your policy on the matter of this fact? We can win up to £1000 for the other venue in the area. Why you such difficult man in this scenario?

Please tell me if so; or if no,

Jacques

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:24 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Never heard of you or your band??
Show me your myspace page or website

Chris

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

Christophe,

I am only French in our band. We are an English band. Thus this is not the points to be also aggressive. Your attitude towards a also popular and known band which suits us to serve to you badly. Have an owner with whom I can continue my correspondence because have impression that almost nothing arrives with you like the chief organisaturer.

Please tell me; etc

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

I would simply like to hear your music and don’t think this is much to ask.
Do you have a myspace or a website??? Or is your band a secret???

Thanks

Chris

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 11:53 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Chris,

I imagine that is not past the first time that you have to irritate which one person. I normally anticipate to give one or two dates, and the organizers are very happy us host. Instead I receive the attitude of an angry person with who the head like a monkey.
Could play us the 30th October?

Say to me if so; or if no,

J

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

AH that's easy !!!

NO of course !

Have a nice life,

Chris

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 12:08 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

You are serious?
Is this the example of the English and his humour?

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 13:15 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Yes, we are a funny bunch, we book bands we have never heard of for £1,000
and have heads like monkeys, could not get funnier could we??

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 15:00 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

I hope you rot in a fridge like a milk cartonne where the owner of the property is go for a long holiday.

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 15:23 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Owners of the property do not go on holiday in the fridge.
Please speak proper English or don't speak at all.

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:09 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

What do you want to say with this statement you species of a jellyfish?
PERMIT ME TO RESERVE YOUR CONCERT HALL. If not I would be to oblige to write has the local newspaper about this correspondence of very regret and anger.

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:31 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

then lets hope they have a translator or someone that actually speaks DORK

from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:37 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

I am the temptation to tell the policeman how you be so rude.
I book SOMEWHERE other venue.
Thank you; for nothing at all you scoundrel of the lowest type.

From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 17:31 AM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?

HORRAY, try DORKSVILLE you wine drinking, onion carrier.

FINALLY Jally gets back in touch

2008-10-13T13:04:00.001+01:00

Phew!!!! Jally has agreed to come over to Plymouth, join the band AND organise our gigs!!!
WHEN will I, will I be FAMOUS?
VERY soon lol

_______________________________________
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:42:49 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SOS

Hello Julian!

I am very apologise for the delay to write you back. It is really very difficult has to earn the silver when you do not have a working! Now I have a small silvers but I has desperate for work the moment that I touch to Plymouth, because if not, I would not be able to eat! You aid me has to find work?

Please tell me if it is so; or if it is no, and perhaps I come more than quicker than I plan,

J-A

Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:42:49 +0100
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com

You COULD be in luck there!!!!
Spencer is MINTED (rich as). He own his own Events Company (Night Owl Events).
He is offering to PAY our Band Manager if he can get us gigs (especially if we make MONEY from them). I thought about doing the job myself but I have a FEELING I will FINALLY find a job ANY day now.
So, what do you think?
Let me know; etc

************************************************************************************

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:47
To: Karen Robson
Subject: To Learn the English

Dear Robson,

I espaire that you can help me. I have just accepted has station like Band Manager of an English band with a old friend in Plymouth. The problem is that I said to him that I speak in fact English courageously, but since my youth I have to forget all. They do not know because I utlise a online translating system, but the moment or I must speak face opposite they go discovered that I have make the lies.
I need to still learn English again. Do you make the course for quick learn?

Please say it to me if so; or if no,

J-A

From: Karen Robson
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:13
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Subject: To Learn the English

Dear Jacques-Antoine

Your e mail made me laugh! It sounds as if you do need a quick course. I'm interested which band you are going to be touring with?
I also attach the details of our courses - the 25hr General English course would be best for you. The only problem is we don't have any family accommodation available for a couple of weeks as October is really busy. Let me know what you want to do.

Best wishes

Karen

from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: Karen Robson
date: Mon, Oct 13, 2008 10:54 AM
subject Re: To Learn the English

Thank You Karen. I am glad you laugh. It make me very worry.

I make party of a band which is called The Argyle Style. That is large a opportunity and it is for that I do not want make bad chance of. They are sign with a major company of records. I am play the bassist of guitar.
Once again I you thank for the opportunity to learn finally and again the English.
It frighten me that you do not have accommodation. That must be very concerning during the rain - there is much rain in Great Brittaine, I have to notice -
If you want, you can rest with me in my friend (and its grandmother) in Plymouth?

Please tell me if you need this so; or if no,

J-A

From: Karen Robson
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:13
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Subject: To Learn the English

Good that you have somewhere to stay if you need to take a course with us in October. Please let me know as soon as possible if you want to book with us.
Best wishes
Karen
Don't know the group but good luck

from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: Karen Robson
date: Mon, Oct 13, 2008 11:31 AM
subject Re: To Learn the English

I look forward to learn with you.
And I hope it is you the teacher! Then we can do the lesson in the bedroom?

*******************************************************************************

Friday Thoughts

2008-10-09T20:27:00.000+01:00

Got up at midday today, emailed Zuzie to see if there was any news on 'us' (there wasn't, so that one MAY be dead - the relationship, NOT her, I hope... actually I don't care). Also sent out some MORE job applications/enquiries.
With ALL this work I'm putting in, I FULLY expect my luck to turn soon.
I treat EVERY new application like my first.

Plans for the weekend:
Get D.R.U.N.K. lol
Find a NEW honey (this will NOT be hard on my form!!!!)
Have a LONG, hard think about what job I MAY want to do. Next week I MUST at LEAST get an interview.
Practice some of the new Argyle Style tunes.

I've also been having a look around for new places to live cos Nan is getting harder and harder to live with. ie I have to do more to help out and I can't be bothered.
Sadly though, it looks like finding a new place to live COULD be as hard as finding a new job. I don't REALLY understand the credit crunch, but from what I have seen it just seems to put EVERYONE in a bad mood.

"I am looking for a lodger for a room in my super luxury Victorian conversation. It is a large attractive double room and the property benefits from being close to local transport and amenities, and having all utility bills included in the rent. Lodger will have full use of fully fitted kitchen and a power shower.
Rent includes all bills. Prefer non smoker. Phone 01752 ****** for more details, Reasonable deposit required."

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: jennyadams@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Flatshre!!!
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:56:35 +0000

Sounds Perrrrrrrrrrfect¬!!!!!
I'll take it lol!!!!

Not really, I need to ask some questions.
I'm 32, with a VERY young outlook... say 22??? Is that TOO young?
ALSO, I play the drums. I ONLY practice in the day, but some people HATE good music.
How old are you?
Are you single? (I am NOT trying to find out if I could, you know... I am concerned that the LAST single girl I lived with kept bringing men home every Thurs/Fri/Saturday night and didn't even follow up with like a date or anything...? GIRLS should not do that lol... man's job ROFL!!!!)

So, as soon as you get back to me, we COULD have a deal,

Julian

________________________________________
To: jennyadams@yahoo.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flatshre!!!
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:17:46 +0100

Hi Julian

I think you may mave misunderstood, this is not a flatshare, but an offer to lodge in my house.
Plus, I am probably not the right type of person you would be looking for given that I was born in 1941.
I have also found someone to fill the room anyway.
Apologies!
________________________________________

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: jennyadams@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flatshre!!!
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:21:01 +0000

1941 lol!!!!

YOUR room will be available soon then!!!???? ROFLMAO!!!!

Joke of the day?

________________________________________
To: jennyadams@yahoo.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flatshre!!!
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:24:23 +0100

How dare you be so cheeky? I intend to be around for many more years yet.

"Your mate/drummer Julian Meteor has already made such a complete idiot of himself..."

2008-10-09T13:26:00.000+01:00

Band practice last night!!! Hungover AGAIN!!! What's new???? lol
I've attached some emails I fished from Spencer's hotmail. He went M.E.N.T.A.L. at me for not sorting out the gig and INSISTED he could do a better job!!!!
I gave him the details of our STRONGEST leads and told him to get on with it!!!! Like HE knows anything about managing a band.

From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: Venue Search
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 12:54:31 +0000

Hi Harry,

I'm just doing some venue hunting for my new band.
Our designated organiser appears to be a little slack in, well, organising, and we urgently need some live practice before our tour in August.
Can you tell me if your venue can hold decent sized crowds and is open to anybody to perform?

Thanks, and sorry for the late notice and my clear inexperience here, but I'm having to take the
bull by the horns otherwise nothing will get done,

Thanks for your help,

Spencer

PS We're based locally - Plymouth - hence asking you first

________________________________________
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 14:18:55 +0100
Subject: Re: Venue Search
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

The Argyle style yeah?

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: Venue Search
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 14:24:31 +0000

Wow!

I'm out of my depth here, clearly!

How on earth did you know that? Obviously some sort of clever database of local bands. The only one you've never hosted perhaps ha ha!

Anyway, can you help me/us out?

Spencer

________________________________________
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 14:32:06 +0100
Subject: Re: Venue Search
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

No mate...

I’ve just got the knack for research..... I’m a producer and sound engineer as well as musician....

Unfortunately however nice a person you are.... Your mate/drummer Julian Meteor has already made such a complete idiot of himself that I simply cannot do business with him..... You’re alright... But he’s a childish person.... Very stroppy...

What’s the matter with him? Is it just being a drummer that does that to you?

Lol!

Take care mate.

Harry Link

________________________________________
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 14:35:35 +0100
Subject: Re: Venue Search
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

I’d also like to add that we’ve been arguing quite a lot...lol!

I’m am currently guilty of winding him up.... But he kinda initiated it with some stupid comment about me...

So it’s tar and feathers for the little shit... Lol!

Look... The venue isn’t geared for loud rock bands.... We’re a laid back place....
Why the hell don't you play the HUB? You don't need to play everywhere in Plymouth, just the bigger better venues.... We're an acoustic café.... Which proved to me Julian had doneno research!

Hey, he could always be the tour cook?

Little egg flipping tosser!
*******************************************************************************
_______________________________________
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:35:35 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!!
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Hi Harry,

Long time no speak etc
Have you ever heard of a venue called the Hob? Need to get in touch with them URGENTLY. I'm in a RIGHT pickle here, can you help me out, mate?

J

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:25:58 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!!
From: kristiansharpe@abandonhope.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

The Hob....?

Are you a fucking joke or what?

It’s called the Hub dip shit....

Why am I helping you?

Because I feel sorry for you I think! But at your age.... You should really have made it by now....

Too late... Toooo tooo late.

Harry

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:35:35 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!!
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Great, thanks,

I owe you one x

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:25:58 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!!
From: kristiansharpe@abandonhope.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

No Beef mate. It was fun.

Harry

PS... I do know the management at the Hub.... If you do decide to slag me off to them... I WILL get to hear about it....

Let’s just let it lie ... And put it to rest....

Hope you get a cracking gig at the hub...

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:35:35 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!!
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Fuck you, you're history

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:54:47 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: kristiansharpe@abandonhope.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Ok...

War is what you want.... You’ve got it mate... Look the fuck out.... Your gigs are gonna start sounding funny... You’ve no idea how easy it is for me so sabotage your sound!

Mooo ha ha haaaaaa!

Burger van boy.... xx

****************************************************************

*******************************************************************

BACK to the job hunt

2008-10-07T14:23:00.001+01:00

Second round of band practice tomorrow and I will HAVE to explain to the guys:
1/ why I have NOT managed to organise a gig yet.
2/ Where our drummer is.

I am in the SHIT lol. But more PRESSING matters are at hand. I am STILL unemployed and Nan is getting SICK of giving me pocket money; ESPECIALLY as I insist on spending MOST of it on beer and panini football stickers for my room. Today's job hunting could DEFo have gone better.

Subject: RE: CV
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 09:30:37 +0100
From: mailto:mailto:matt@q******recruitment.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for contacting us. Please forward your cv as an email attachment and we will process your application with regards to any relevant vacancies that we hold.

Kind regards

Matt

Matt Lewis
Q****** Recruitment Ltd
t: 01** *** ****
mailto:mailto:matt@q******recruitment.co.uk

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 14:33
To: Matt Q****** Recruitment
Subject: RE: CV

Dear Matty,

Before I do this, do you know FOR SURE if you have anything relevant for me?

I don't want to rustle up a cv for nothing!!!

Let me know; either way,

J

Subject: RE: CV
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 14:57:05 +0100
From: matt@q******recruitment.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Dear Julian

With out wanting to make too much of a point; I would prefer not to be addressed Matty.

I don’t know if we have anything for you until I see your cv – so if you’d like to email an up-to-date copy to me I am happy to review it for you.

Kind regards

Matt

Matt Lewis
Q***** Recruitment Ltd
t: 01** *** ****

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: matt@q******recruitment.co.uk
Subject: RE: CV
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 15:14:03 +0000

Mat,

Sorry about the name thing. I thought it sounded cooler.

When do you NEED the CV?

J

***No Reply***

TRYING to book our first gig

2008-10-06T12:45:00.000+01:00

From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 10:57:36 +0000

Hi There!!!!

We are a (signed) band indie/metal band from Plymouth, looking to get some practice in before an upcoming tour. We are CRAZILY loud, BRILLIANT fun, PROPER mental and will be SURE to keep the neighbours up but the crowd VERY happy lol

If you can pay our coach expenses and give us 40% of the door money, we COULD be interested in playing at your small venue.

Let me know; either way,

Julian

From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: FW: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 11:27:06 +0000

Hi Harry,
Any news on this?
J

Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 11:37:36 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Hey, good luck with it all, we’re an acoustic style venue... Drummers play with rods ‘n’ brushes.... Indie, well yes... Metal... Eekk, no I’m afraid....

However....

I might be able to offer you some fantastically priced studio time.... And a shit hot metal producer...!

Sorry can’t help with the venue thing...but would love to record you guys....

Harry Link.

From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 11:40:41 +0000

Don't know why I fucking bother.

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 12:17:20 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Huh?

It doesn’t sound like things are going to well for you brother?

From an analytical point of view you might find your approach style not to the taste of many venues....

For instance...

Hi There!!!!

(fine)

We are a (signed) band indie/metal band from Plymouth,

(to who? What label...)

looking to get some practice in before an upcoming tour.

(We don’t have bands practice in our venue, only fully rehearsed and ready to play bands)

We are CRAZILY loud,

(Not a good selling point by today’s standards)

BRILLIANT fun, PROPER mental

(Great stuff!)

and will be SURE to keep the neighbours up

(Again, that’s unfortunately why we are selective)

but the crowd VERY happy lol

(Great!)

If you can pay our coach expenses and give us 40% of the door money, we COULD be interested in playing at your small venue.

(Research, research mate.... We don’t charge on the door.... We just pay bands to play and take a killing at the bar..)

Let me know; either way,

(You should be allowing 48 hours for a reply really, mate.... I felt a little hassled by it to be honest... I get a lot of bookings and many of them are months in advance and take a couple weeks to finalise...)

And last of all .... Name of band? Myspace? Recordings to listen to? Pictures... ? Feedback? Press pack..... the list goes on.... It’s not hard mate... By today’s standards you should have pointed me to the whole promotional package.... And I could have checked you out...

Take care, best of luck...

Harry.

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 13:10:36 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Harry,

You clearly know NOTHING about the music industry. PLEASE don't insult me with your opinions on my (signed) band.

Now go and tape some wires to the floor wearing a black t-shirt and jeans.

TOO busy to deal with wannabes today,

Julian

PS you are NOT invited to our next gig

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 13:31:58 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

And you are clearly a little boy just starting out in the industry....

You’ve got a temper like a little girl.... And I very much doubt you are signed....

...it’s a bit more than putting your signature on the bottom of a bit of paper!

You can’t even name your band.... Ha ha ha Now that is funny.... Call yourself a manager.... Ha ha ha...

You’ll see someday that the rest of us don’t deal with people the way you do.

Which is what makes me think you’re just a young lad, wet behind the ears....

Ha ha ha.... Not invited to your next gig.... Ohhhh Dear....

Good luck, you’re gonna need it with that attitude mate...

Harry.

PS I just found this on joinmyband.co.uk:
Joined: 18 May 2008
Total posts: 2
[0.01% of total / 0.05 posts per day]
Find all posts by julianmeteor
Date of Birth: 10 Aug 1975
Location: Plymouth
Website:
Occupation: Unemployed Chef
Interests: Plymouth Argyle FC, Beer, WOMEN lol
Current Status: Looking for a band
Instruments played: Drums and Vocals
Favourite bands/artists: Def Leppard, Iron Maiden
Last Visited: Jun 30, 2008 10:12 am

Ha ha ha ha ha.... Yeah, signed band eh....

Keep up the good work.... COOK!

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 13:35:02 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

You’re a drummer and your favourite band is Def Leopard lol!

A one armed drummer for inspiration ...for god’s sake boy...you’re 32!

Grow up!

Lol!

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 14:07:48 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

LOL!!!!!
I'm 33 you loser

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 14:36:12 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

I’m so pleased that you found your age funny....

Now what’s you mental age 4 ?
You like hairspray rock....leather clad men....

Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha!

I think it’ll be you in the black Tshirt sticking tape to your drums actually mate...

You know it’s true!

Lol!

_______________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 14:57:36 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

Look, I am manager and drummer of The Argyle Style.
We got together VERY recently. We ARE signed (Parlafone).
YOU, on the other hand are just a GONAD with nothing better to do that HALT our progress.
Now PLEASE leave your jealousy out of this. It is NOT my fault you never found the right band for
your strange taste in music.

Julian

_______________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:11:09 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Twat!

You’re not signed...I’ve just checked....mate you’re as good as the last million shit bands from Plymouth.

Don’t count your chickens... I suggest you keep that griddle hot mate...

xx

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:28:23 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

The argyle style....

Fucking hell could you have thought of a worse name?

Seriously.... You’re little school band....

Rubbish.... Just heard you... You’ve got nothing more than a bunch of dated old ideas from your def leotard collection

AND you’ve named your band after a stitch used on golfing jumpers...

Maaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why, because of Plymouth Argyle .....?

Ohh deary deary me.

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:38:54 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

For someone who NEEDS our business, I am DISGUSTED by your lack of professionalism.

Now, before I report you to your boss, let's get back to business:

I've just got some rods and brushes off ebay. How much will you pay us to perform?

Let me know,

Julian

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:57:36 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

I am my boss.... Unlike you.... I’m an independent/freelance musician...

I’m all up for stopping this arguing because you’re now wasting my time....

I don’t need your business... Musicians and bands are two a penny and music is free to copy illegally

So why are you bothering? You think you’re gonna make it at 33? Lol!@ there’s kids with more chance mate!

Good luck with you hot rods and brushes... Lol

Look... Just leave it mate... I don’t want your business.... I couldn’t care for your band.... Seriously... Don’t kid yourself that you’ve been signed....

It really is a joke.... ! I’m signed? Three labels.... ? Means nothing though... Doesn’t make me famous! Overrated mate...if you knew about the current industry trends...people are opting for different things these days....

Why a Scottish Jumper pattern for a band name then?

That’s the least rock band name I’ve ever heard????? Even Def Leopard sounds better than that....

Let’s quit the arguing....

But rest assured... It can get worse for us....so let’s leave it here dude alright? I’m sure we could insult each other all day....

H

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 16:03:22 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk

What's YOUR band called then? The Twatfuckers? (is it?)

FFS. It’s named after Plymouth FUCKING Argyle of course.

Grow up.

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:17:15 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Plymouth Argyle.... Ha ha ha...

Ok Mr. brain box... Just couldn’t help noticing the actual name of your band is named after a Scottish Stitch..... Lol! So fucking sad....

As it happens... Fucking Twats is what I like to do at the weekends..... While you’re clearly putting your leathers on....and off out for some Bumfucking

With all your little rock boys.....

So you’re into Football.... You’re a cook.... (Greasy spoon cafe) ... And you play music as a hobby?

Riiiight....

Lol!

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:47:01 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Jeesus I can’t even find anything on you...

You type in “The Argyle Style” into Google... All I get is knitting....

Are you sure you don’t all just make jumpers?

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 16:01:06 +0000

Der, we have only JUST signed. What is your problem? I do wonder you are so quick to reply to my emails - you probably NEVER go out. You clearly have no friends and (probably) bad acne (please confirm).

I was trying to help you and COULD have made us both a LOT of money (let alone almost GUARANTEED sex).

Now you are just clutching at the straws of a massively lost argument.

Save it for the critics Smash Hits boy.

When you are in your 20s, you MAY understand a LITTLE about this industry.

GO back to youth club; either way.

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 16:31:29 +0000

Ha. That shut YOU up.

Game, set; and match.

________________________________________
Date: Tue, 1 Jul 2008 16:42:10 +0100
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Wanker!

I’ve just realised who you are.... Ha ha ha ha... Pretty much describing yourself with no friends and acne....lol!

Now listen....

You’re the one advertising your gigs.....

I’m the one fucking with your graphics before you play.... Lol!

It’s you who needs to be careful.... I’d think nothing of cracking your knees before you’re due on stage.... Save the world of a spotty fucking rock drummer!

I’m quick to respond because I run a business from home dip shite... Yes...I earn a living sat at my computer talking to wankers like you...and believe me, you’re not the first!

And neither are you the first person I’ve fucked the sound up on lol!

Look over your shoulder at your gigs.....

If you notice something funny... About the sound.... You may just see me in the audience.... Lol!

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 16:50:44 +0000

How much do you earn?

________________________________________
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 16:57:33 +0000
Subject: Re: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Ahhhh ha ha ha ha .... My God you are a child.....

What the fuck is it to you egg flipper?

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 17:03:09 +0000

When I worked for Fifteen I was on £6.50 an hour, so you can SHOVE your arrogance.

And IF you are telling the truth it would be good to know if I should persevere with this music lark.

PLEASE tell me? Record year? Have you ever paid tax at the higher rate (22%)?

Let me know.

Argyle 4 Sheffield Wednesday 0

2008-10-05T18:25:00.000+01:00

I HATE the Owls (Sheffield Wednesday). Mainly because I HATE owls (long story). In short, they scare the SHIT out of me.
So, to WALLOP them 4-0 was an ABSOLUTE result!!!! I celebrated by getting STEAMING drunk on cans of Strongbow outside the stadium!!! lol All this after a CRACKING date with Zuzie on Friday night.
BUT for my agreeing to let the lads text her on MY behalf it would have been the PERFECT weekend.
Sadly now, she THINKS I have AIDS (I do NOT) and won't speak to me.
I'm off to bed now. Tomorrow is a BIG day.

Weekend Plans

2008-10-03T14:04:00.000+01:00

Life is the name of the game and I wanna play the gasme with YOU
***LOL!!!***
I am in a GREAT mood!!!!
'Because it's Friday' I hear you assuming... well do NOT assume.
Assume makes an ASS out of U and Me. Get it? It cleverly spells it out.
I, Julian L Meteor am in a GREAT mood because

I've forgotten now. But why NOT be? The world is a FINE place.
Oh (remembered lmao) and I've got a date tonight...!!! With Zuzie, the Polish barmaid at the Brit.
It's a SLIGHTLY difficult situation in that I do NOT have any money, so EITHER need HER to pay (I could claim I'm a MODERN man), OR I need to put one of my pubes in the soup, complain about it, then BANK on getting the meal free.
I tried the second one before WITHOUT success though. I was unlucky. I did NOT realise the waiter was standing behind me from start to finish in the process.
VERY difficult to talk my way out of.
SO, it's DATE tonight, SEX (if not, she is D.U.M.P.E.D.), watching the MIGHTY Pilgrims tomorrow, tv on Sunday. The PERFECT weekend.
LOL!!!!!!!

Band Practice Hangover

2008-10-02T08:24:00.001+01:00

I feel like DIRT lol. I am SOOOOOOOO hungover!!!!!
Band practice went well. Spencer and Penny are VERY friendly. I do NOT think their relationship will last. She DEFO fancies me and NOT him. I can TELL cos she backed me up when I suggested we call the band "The Argyle Style" AND she looked at my crotch when I was coming back from the bar.
I may EVEN have made her a bit jealous when I went home with the barmaid from the Brit. She was a H.O.N.E.Y!!!! lmao
I got absolutely NO sleep - YOU do the maths LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: Band Practice Hangover!!!
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2008 14:14:35 +0000

GrrrrEAT to meet you guys!!!!
HOW good do we sound now LMAO???!!!! PROPER professional!!!! I see NO problem in telling people we are signed, since it is a MATTER of time before we ARE rofl

I have TWO confessions to make about the post-match beer:

1. I shagged the barmaid (ALL three positions).
2. I MAY have tampered with the peanuts R.O.F.L.!!!!!

Can't WAIT for next week,

Julian

----- Original Message ----
From: Spencer Fairbrother
To: Julian Meteor ; Penelope Miles
Sent: Thu, 2 Oct 2008 15:23:09 PM
Subject: RE: Band Practice Hangover!!!

Julian,

I agree we are coming together nicely as a unit and I am glad we now have a band name, but isn't something missing?

From: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:27:56 +0000
Subject: Re: Band Practice Hangover!!!
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Well, call me stupid, but in my view two things appear to be missing from the band:

A. Someone who cares about Julian's promiscuity
B. A fucking bass guitarist

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Band Practice Hangover!!!
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2008 15:35:11 +0000

Ooooh Eggy!!! lol

I have NO idea what point A means, but do NOT worry about the bass guitarist, I have MORE OR LESS sorted it.