When Harry met Spencer

Best weekend EVER lol.
For the first time in AGES I did NOT pull. I have TOTALLY turned over a new leaf. I no LONGER need to snare a honey in order to have a good night.
L.M.A.O. - believe that you will believe ANYTHING!!!!!! lmfao
It was a CRUD weekend (for the reasons I just LIED about). I got blown out by EVERYONE - including fatties, one with piercings ALL over her face, who CLAIMED she had a boyfriend (yeah, right), and EVEN this TOTAL lesbian who had NO right to turn me down as she did NOT look like the type to get much action; she had short spikey hair and looked a LOT like a man. In fact, I ONLY tried it on AFTER the lights went on in the club (Candy Store, NOT Zeroes for once!!!!! lol)
The ONLY good thing I did was get VERY good value for money on the News of the World in that I bought a copy from my local convenience store on the way home Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3am and I was SO smashed I didn't remember ANY of it when I re-read it on Sunday - two for the price of one... MASSIVE stroke of money-saving luck!!!!!! pmsl
Now, I BET you are wondering what is going on with the Battle of the Bands.
"They're running out of time" I hear you thinking. Well, do NOT write us off!!!!!! lol
Actually, even I have dipped below 99% certainty that this event will take place.
In fact, since last week, we have made NO progress. NOT my fault, people have been MASSIVELY distracting me.

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:19:49 +0100
Subject: Julian needs help!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Spencer, your Julian needs some professional help, he's got half of Plymouth
curled up laughing here!

You would not believe the bad picture he's painting for your band..... It's
incredible how you allow it with a £10K prize at stake....?


Dude have a word in his ear....

Harry.

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:51:30 +0000

Thanks for the email, Harry. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
I've been away for a few days in Brighton - absolutely HEAVING there!!!! The gay scene is really open and liberating.

Would you like to meet up for a cocktail and discuss Julian?

Spencer


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:09:15 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


Lol... No mate... Julian’s not really on my agenda to be honest....

The only reason I emailed is because he’s constantly emailing me with laughably odd comments and notions... I’d rather be nothing to do with it frankly...

Wish you all the best with your band..... Whatever it is you’re all looking for out of music... I’m not sure you’re headed in the right direction.... But hey, each to their own eh, we’ve all got different opinions.

Regards.

Harry.

PS Brighton Gay scene is about as much fun as being hassled for sex by hundreds of blokes because they think good looking guys must be gay ...jeeezzz yuK!


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:01:30 +0000


Don't knock it til you try it Mr Big Winkle!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:13:09 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


Comments like that fill me with the confidence that you really know what you’re doing x honest ;-)


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:41:30 +0000


How many inches is it????!!!!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:20:21 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


I think I might publish the whole of your emails from the start on my blog....

It sure is one of the funniest I’ve ever come across....

I mean.. “How many inches is it????!!!!!!”

Are you for real? Are you really positive you want to be asking me that?


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:29:31 +0000


PLEASE don't say anything to anyone.

I had a meeting with Julian to try and convince him to work with me. He mentioned he thought you were gay. I pretended not to register, but it got my mind racing. I couldn't stop thinking about you and me and the correspondence we'd shared. Go on, re-read them and tell me you couldn't cut the sexual tension with a knife...

...and then mail me back a piccy of your sausage x


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:56:42 +0000


Don't leave me hanging, Harry.

Am I barking up the wrong tree?

**********************************************************
Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:38:23 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother


You both clearly have something wrong with your heads..... Spencer quit your passionate homosexual emails to me because I’m straight with a kid etc... And the whole idea of gay makes me cringe....

Julian quit with the ridiculous babble you really are wasting your time now.

Both of you guys... Let’s leave it here... You’re in my junk mail filter now ok... So any emails are on there way there unread and disposed of ethically.

Again... All the best with your ‘making it in the big wide industry’ ... I do hope you manage to afford to sustain a career (in comedy) .... Seriously!

Harry.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:54:28 +0000


LOL!!!!

This can NOT be true.

Spencer, a gaylord? Yeah RIGHT lol

MASSIVE fibber. Shameless. ILLEGAL.


************************************************************
----- Original Message ----
From: Julian Meteor
To: Penelope Miles
Cc: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Sent: Monday, 24 November, 2008 20:11:03 AM
Subject: QUESTION


Hi Penny,

How are you? lol

Remind me, how long have you and Spencer (Fairbrother) been going out together as boyfriend/girlfriend and having full sex etc? I have an IDEAL present I want to give you for your next anniverssary, so I wanted to get the EXACT date.

Let me know,

Julian

________________________________________
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 08:20:41 +0000
From: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: QUESTION
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk


Dear Julian,

Please don't pester me while I'm at work with your bizarre and intrusive ways.

Spencer and I are fine.

Penny

PS Harry, I am sure Julian didn't mean to CC you. Sorry to bother you.


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: QUESTION
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 12:43:11 +0000


There you are: PROOF that Spencer is NOT a gaylord.

Go and email someone else.

Perhaps with an imagination like yours W.G. Rowling could be interested hear your ideas on Harry POTTER'S next adventure...

You thicko.

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:12:03 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother


Oohh Good GOD .... You really are the most uneducated of buffoons aren’t you!

Who in the fuck is W.G Rowling you stupid idiot..... Good god don’t you mean J.K Rowling....???? Do you ever listen to anything but your own drivel?

So I guess again that makes YOU the thicko ... Har har... You’ll never beat the likes of an education sunshine, hands down every time....

You know what... I know you and Spence are gay.... Other people told me.... Nothing to do with you eh...


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:03:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks


Harry.


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:30:26 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk


YOUR MUM


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:39:41 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Ha ha, you're such an idiot