Desperation: Trying to get my OLD job back

QUESTION: What do you do if finding a NEW job is proving tough?
ANSWER: Re-apply for your OLD job
Sadly friends, luck was NOT on my side in this case. It LOOKS like the old summer camp company I USED to work for in the USA have fallen on hard times AS WELL. Either that or I picked the WRONG time to apply for a summer job. EITHER WAY, there was NOTHING I could have done to avoid this latest setback.
So, it's back to the drawing board.
I am meeting the guys tonight for band practice and I am going to pitch my LATEST brainwave:
As you know the Argyle Style was HOPING to be a MAJOR, well-paid band by now, but this has NOT materialsed yet. SO, I am going to suggest to Spencer that we organise a Battle of the Bands with BIG MONEY (his, LOL) at stake for the winners!!!!!!
WATCH THIS SPACE.

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:21:09


Hi - I am looking for a new chef job on of your camps. I have a LOT of relevant experience. Please let me know when you want to interview me.

Regards,

Julian Meteor


Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:41:02
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com


Submit cv to apply

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:21:09


Dear Mrs Girder,

Please find my CV. I am sure you will agree I am MORE than equipped to do this job. I am available ANY day next week for interview.

Come on baby light my fire!!!!! Rofl

Julian


Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:01:02
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com


Julian

Did you leave Funcamp USA on good terms? Can you send me your ID number along with the name of the camp where you were based then I will find out from Chicago head office if you are eligible for re hire.

Many thanks

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:41:19


NO COMMENT !!!!! LMAO!!!!

Can you let me know; either way?

J

Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:06:56
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com


Well, unless you can be more specific then it doesn't look like I will be able to help.


Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:18:10


Can you treat me as a new applicant as if I have NEVER worked for them?


Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:41:47
Subject: Re: Funcamp USA
To: Julian Meteor
From: funcampusajobs@aol.com


No, because I have read the information on your CV.

Best Regards
Mandy Gordon
Director
Funcamp USA Recruitment
UK Hiring Partner
01*** 6*****

From: Julian Meteor
To: funcampusajobs@aol.com
Subject: Funcamp USA
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:56:22


It's really frustrating. If the 'incident' had happened just ONE year later, I would still be working for them. Frankly though, I don't regret it.... THOSE melons lol!!! So, what do you say? Shall we give this another go?


***No Reply***

The aftermath of Spencer's birthday

Saturday was a day of two halves. Argyle lost at home to Ipswich - the LESS saiod about THAT the better; but Spencer's birthday was an EPIC!!!! BELIEVE me when I say this readers... gay clubs are THE place to go to chase AND GET women. Spencer was BANG on.
ALL eight of us got some action. Spencer CLAIMS to have got some but I ONLY saw him talking to men all night lol!!!
I took a girl called Angie back to Nan's!!!!!
I will NOT be seeing her again!!! lol She was DISGUSTING.
I wrote to Ray to think him for his hospitality. What a LOVELY guy.

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 28 Oct 2008 15:45
To: Ray Johns
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol


Hi Ray,

Just to say, we had an ABSOLUTE blinder at Zeros on Saturday. There were only eight of us in the end, so four groups of two, staggered entry, holding hands, not too drunk (UNTIL LATER ON!!!!) and we got in fine!!!
Spencer and I are off to London tomorrow night, so I was wondering is there a Zeros there too?
We're thinking "why change a winning formula!!!" (read between the lines lol)
(we all got laid)

Any ideas?

J

From: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Date: 28 Oct 2008 15:52:19 +0100

Sorry there is no Zeros in London. We are an independently owned club. Glad you had a good night, you should of said hi. How many of you got laid with a guy??? Hmmmmm, I bet your answer is none, I’ll have to check the c.c.t.v. Hahahaha.


Have fun in London, you can always try XXL or G.A.Y. but if you carry on one of you will end up curious ;-) rofl


Ray.

Spencer's Birthday Plans

Had band practice last night. It is a TRAVESTY that the public is YET to hear the dark, heavy, lyrically genius songs of the Argyle Style, but OUR TIME HAS COME.
Penny wasn't there (THANKfully), so we were missing a backing singer (B.O.T.H.E.R.E.D) and someone to seep NEGATIVITY into an OTHERWISE positive gang.
Spencer ALSO pointed out that it's his borthday on Saturday night, so I, being a TRUE bezzy mate offered to organise a lads night out.
I came up (SLIGHTLY by accident) with a MASTERstroke. Zeros Nightclub in Plymouth.
My run of form with the HONEYS of Plymouth (BAD REP???? ME???? lol) looks CERTAIN to continue...

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: clubadmin@zerosnightclub.co.uk
Sent: Thurs, Oct 2, 2008 11:17 AM
Subject: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol

YO YO YO!!!!

Are you open on Saturday night for a MAJOR night of birthday fun for my mate Spencer's birthday??????????? There are 12 boys, ALL up for a GREAT night out of the pull!!!!!!!

Can we reserve an area? And what sort of TCHEEEEONWNS do you play????? lol

Let me know; either way,

Julian

________________________________________
From: ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 200813:03:56 +0100


Hi Julian.

We are always up for a party here!! We are open Saturday night from 10.30pm - 5.00am! Just so there is no confusion, I trust you are aware that this is a diverse club for all sexualities but predominantly gay.

We have three floors, open on Saturday which consist of 2 dance floors, 2 DJ's and 2 bars. On the main floor you will find your favourite R&B and commercial dance tracks such as The Freemasons - Uninvited, Timbaland - The Way I Are and Madonna - Four Minutes whilst Upstairs in our "Cheese Factory" you will find our resident DJ Daron playing cheese pop and party music from the eighties, ninties and noughties, such as, Kylie - Wow, Abba - Gimme Gimme Gimme and Backstreet Boys - Everybody.

Unfortunately, we do not have any area that we can currently reserve for you (We are in the process of adding ANOTHER floor to the club but it is still at an early stage) , however, if you come and find myself or my assistant manager Dave, we will sort you out with some bubbly to get your party swinging ;-) I will be in a suit and Dave will be in a shirt and tie.

May I ask what age Spencer will be? Please remember that it is over 18's only. If any of your party look under 25 BRING I.D. If they are challenged about their age at the door there is a strict policy of NO I.D. NO ENTRY. Even if the person in question is actually 50 the decision will not be overturned by anyone.

Please respect the club and all of it's customers and staff. Any offensive discriminating behaviour whether it be homophobic, racial, sexual etc WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, this is an attitude free club, for the comfort of all of our customers.

I look forward to seeing your group in the club, and may I pass my birthday wishes on to Spencer. Have a great safe night.

Ray Johns,
Manager
Zeros Nightclub
24 Lockyer Street
Plymouth
Devon
PL1 2QW
01752 662346
www.zerosnightclub.co.uk



________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
CC: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:23:57 +0000

Hi Ray!!!!!!!!

Thanks a LOT for getting back to me!!!!!!

One problem: I did NOT know this was a gay club????!!!!! I was there only about a month ago and didn't notice???!!!!! LMAO I had a CRACKING night... got SMASHED!!!! The barman was PLYING me with beers lol!!!! Top MAN!!!!

Anyway, I have CC'd Spencer.... Spencer - what do you think, shall we give this place a go???? Sounds like a good vibe????

J

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; ray@raymondjohns.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:31:46 +0000

Hi Julian, Hi Ray,

I think this is a fantastic idea. Gay clubs are known to be a haven for pulling straight girls, so definitely count me/us in.

The way it works is this: Girls get dumped for being dappy/unpredictable/mental/having no hobbies and they get all upset. This puts them OFF men for a period of about 18 months.
During this time, they USUALLY have a gay friend from work who takes them under their wing. They start socialising etc... he takes her out with his mates to these types of places and usually toward the end of this cycle they are ripe for the picking.
Ratios in gay bars are usually 40% women, so in a capacity of 300, that's 120 straight birds. 50% (that's 60) of these straight birds haven't had ANY cock in about 9 months. Therefore 30 birds are milling around who have NOT had any for a flippin YEAR!!!!

There's ONLY 12 of us?//???!!!!! If we don't pull, SERIOUS questions MUST be asked!!!

Ray - can I give you guestlist names?

Cheers,

Spencer


From: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
CC: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 15:37:36 +0100


Hi Guys. Whilst we welcome everyone with the right attitude, your pulling figures are way off. You have neglected to account for the lesbians within the club who you will just be an annoyance to, as well as the fact that there are a lot of straight couples that come to the club so they can get away from the hassles of straight bars.

We do not operate a guest list as our charge on the door goes towards our security costs so that we can maintain our almost trouble free, safe environment.

If you do choose to come be warned that our door security personnel will not admit anyone who "in their opinion" is too intoxicated, nor will they admit groups of straight guys that appear to have the "wrong attitude". Whilst this may sound harsh, this is the way that we have built our reputation and maintain the safety of all our customers. We are the only gay club in the city so please understand that our priority is to make sure our gay clientele do not feel as though they do not belong here. There are plenty of clubs around Plymouth where our customers can go and feel threatened and unwelcome, Zeros wil not become one of them.

Many thanks and I wish you a trouble free enjoyable evening.

Ray.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: manager@zerosnightclub.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
Date: Fri, 23 May 2008 14:49:11 +0000

Thanks for your FEEDBACK RAY!!!!

So you're saying we need to ACT gay and SOBER to get past the bouncers????? Thanks for the tip!!!!! The SECOND one will be harder than the first eh Spence you campo!!!!

We're NOT the types to be anti-social... and you SEEM like a great guy, so I'm sure the club has YOUR attitude.

Look forward to it!

J

***************************************************************

The Job break I DESERVED

I do NOT know what's going to happen with the band now. I saw the guys in the Brit last night and we agreed that there are more PRESSING matters at hand at the moment (like ME finding a job lol), so we've put it on the back burner. Jally is annoyed cos he stands NO chance of getting a job when he can't even speak English!!!!! lmao (that's ONE less foreigner to worry about stealing my job!!!! rofl)
Talking of jobs, I THOUGHT my luck had changed this week. I sent out a NUMBER of applications a while ago and MOST of them were SO rude they didn't even write back. Then, out of the BLUE comes an email back a response which I, being the SHREWD entrepreneur that I am ASSUMED was some kind of scam. I quickly sussed it out then ALMOST agreed terms to work with her.

*****Original Message sent in July********
From: Julian Meteor
To: < info@rosatradingandco.co.uk>
Sent: Mon, 30 Jul 2008 13:17:40 +0000
Subject: VERY INTERESTED lol

Hi Rosie,

I am VERY interested in your pyramid selling idea. I COULD be the IDEAL way to supplement my income.

PLEASE tell me more,

Julian
********************************************************************
...and then her response(s) yesterday/today


To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: Re: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:22:05 +0100


Hi Julian,

Sorry but we have somehow not seen this email from you sent back in July.

If you wish to know more information then please have a look at our website www.rosastradingandco.co.uk under Agents Wanted.

We no longer run the No Stock required option due to increases in our manufacturing and import costs hence why we have the agent kits which are still offered at exceptional value for money considering what you get and can resell at.

Have a look on the website and if still interested then let me know - we are getting lots of requests for the kits with the start of xmas fast approaching. Our products do sell very well and with the latest addition of our Instant Snow - Snow real and also with 4 NEW colours coming out in November of the Deco Beads the products will do really well for you and could increase your income enabling you to treat your family to a fantastic xmas.

Have a think about it - if you need clarification on any of the above or the information contained on the website, I am only a phone call away.

Call me on 01473 ****** anytime.

best wishes

Rosa
ROSA TRADING & CO
www.rosastradingandco.co.uk

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:09:03 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Rosie,

Forgive me for pointing this out, but replying to my email THREE months late does NOT fill me with confidence.

Give me ONE good reason why I should drop EVERYTHING and come and run your company.

Julian

----- Original Message -----
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 21:52:51 +0100
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Julian

Thanks for your email - it would appear that your subject heading "Very Interested lol" was considered SPAM and sent to our spam inbox. It was only that I was checking our SPAM box as someone else had sent us an email and it too had gone in our SPAM folder that I noticed it. I do aplogise for not replying sooner.

We are a reputable business with satisfied agents and customers who have ordered from either our Trade Shows, website or from one of our Agents around the UK.

We do not pressure you to join us so the choice is completely up to you. The Agents page explains everything we offer.

I am NOT even asking you to drop everything to join us - or even RUN our company....I was simply replying to your email - although late - at least you can see that we respond to everyone who is in contact with us.

Best wishes

Rosa (NOT Rosie!)
ROSA TRADING & CO
www.rosatradingandco.co.uk
Tel 01473 ******
Mob Tel 07*** ******

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: < mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk>
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 09:12:23 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Any news?

To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: Fwd: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2008 15:45:48 +0100


Thank you for your email asking any news???

I sent this reply last night if you have a look at the time.

Maybe like us your email has decided to stick this reply in your SPAM folder.

Regards

Rosa

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:21:25 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Rosie,

After SEVERAL weeks looking for a job with NO LUCK how do YOU expect ME to believe that the credit crunch is SUDDENLY over and I am wanted to go and run a WHOLE company?

PULL the other one.

Is this a wind up?

Let me know; EITHER way,

Julian


To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:12:31 +0100

OK Julian

I have been respectful and upfront with you but your tone of email shows you are quite upset with life in general.

So here goes.....................


NO this is NOT a wind up.....we are a genuine business with several agents working for us throughout the UK! If anyone should be asking is this a wind up it should be me....are you for real???

I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO BELIEVE the credit crunch is over .....I NEVER SAID THAT!!!!!!!! What I said is that we can hep you earn a part time salary if you wanted to take onboard our product range and sell it to family and friends locally. I never said I would turn you into a millionaire or that this is going to be the BEST job ever....Get your facts right!!!

AND I DO NOT WANT YOU TO "RUN" MY COMPANY........in fact with your attitude I would be very surprised if you EVER found a job!!!!

I have explained the situation and what happened with your original email. - there is NO NEED to be rude by email. If you are not able to accept my reasons for the late response then I suggest you get over your bitterness and take it out on someone who cares. I gave you my reason for a late response. If we are not forgiven then tough luck - unlike you I will not dwell or lose sleep over it!

What goes around comes around so please accept MY RUDENESS BACK!

I would NOT employ you even if I wanted to. We do not recruit agents who appear to be rude. If you are rude to me the person that would employ you and pay your salary I would hate to think how rude you would be to someone who likes what you have to offer, product-wise, but doesn't buy!!!

If you want to join us then the CHOICE is yours - not mine - I will not pressure you to joining nor will I try and convince you otherwise. We are a no hard sell business whether we are recruiting agents or selling our products. That is NOT our style. I have several people working for us who enjoy working for us and who earn good part time money to afford the small things in life and these people are NOT rude like you and they do not send emails like yours.

I am NOT asking you to drop everything and come and run my business like you say - I am capable of doing that myself without offending anyone unlike you so why would I risk having you RUN the business??? So you can drive customers away and annoy people....??? I don't think so.

I bid you GOOD LUCK in your job search and lets leave it at that!

Rosa.....BY THE WAY .....MY NAME IS ROSA.....maybe learn to read and spell?????

----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Sent: Tue, 21 Sep 2008 16:45:16 +0000
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol


FEISTY lol!!!!

Look, I LIKE your style and I MAY reconsider.

Let's meet for dinner to discuss.

I do NOT care what you look like (BELIEVE ME I have done some HEFFERS lol), but you will DEFO fancy me.

What are you doing Friday?

Let me know; etc,

Julian

PS VWE, & CAN travel

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:22:03 +0100


I can not believe your email!!

I would not meet you for dinner if you were the last man on the planet - VWE or not!

I am no Heffer thank you and I doubt I would fancy you as I am happily married to a gorgeous guy and have produced a beautiful daughter!

Get over yourself!!!

Good luck with your job hunting!!

Rosa

By the way my husband who also runs this business with me read your email and thinks you need counselling!

-----Original Message-----
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:42:45 +0100
To: mail@rosastradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol

Dear Rose + husband,

May I point out that your business plan is flawed? You send UNSOLICITED emails to people, BEGGING them to work for you, THEN you abuse them telling them EVEN if they were the last person on the planet you would NOT date them. I mean, GET A LIFE.

THEN, you question their/my manhood - WHAT relevance is this? Do let me know.

I do not know HOW you are managing to maintain your business. You wouldn't last a MINUTE on Dragons' Den.

Yours, AMAZED the credit crunch hasn't hit you yet with THAT attitude,

Julian

PS This correspondence is SO absurd and surreal that I am going to put it on my blog.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:16:29 +0100

Dear Julian,

Thanks again for your message ....you don't give up do you!!!

My business plan is not flawed as you state!

I NEVER sent you unsolicited mail......YOU sent ME an email back in JULY.....REMEMBER???????? we do not send unsolicited mail to ANYONE.....YOU CONTACTED US....GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!!!!

As for ABUSING YOU......Well let me remind you of your unsavoury email response:

Look, I LIKE your style and I MAY reconsider. Let's meet for dinner to discuss. I do NOT care what you look like (BELIEVE ME I have done some HEFFERS lol), but you will DEFO fancy me. What are you doing Friday? Let me know; etc, Julian PS VWE,& CAN travel

I question your manhood as YOU bring it up in your email....VWE or what else does VWE stand for these days?????? Why would I go out to dinner with you and where do you get off telling me that I could look like a Heffer and that you don't mind!!! GROW UP!!!

As for Dragons Den - WHY oh WHY would I want to go on there when I have a successful business anyway and without the need of ANYONE to invest into it!!!! I NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANY MONEY TO INVEST IN MY BUSINESS!!!!!

So if anyone needs to GET A LIFE as you put it maybe it should BE YOU!!!!

YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO PUT THIS MESSAGE ON YOUR BLOG....IS THAT THE MADE UP BLOG OF JULIAN'S FANTASY LIFE???? I DO HOPE YOU ADD YOUR EMAIL RESPONSES IN THAT BLOG TOO.

By the way my husband does exist and we are both amazed that you have even sent a reply back!!

Please GET A JOB...stop corresponding with people who are trying to run businesses and WHO really don't appreciate time wasters like you bothering them with STUPID emails!!

BY THE WAY IT'S ROSA AGAIN........LEARN TO WRITE!!!!


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:56:29 +0100
To: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol


SAVE it.

I have TOTALLY gone off you.

I am FED up with JEALOUS partners getting in the way. Yours is NOT the only one to have RUINED my stats for the year.

Now, if you DON'T mind, I am BUSY looking for a job.
UNLESS you have had your head in the sand, we are in the MIDDLE of a credit crunch and your
POINTLESS emails are HINDERING my chances of finding employment.

Julian

PS If you reconsider and are as FIT as you SEEM to think you are - call me

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
From: mail@rosatradingandco.co.uk
Subject: RE: VERY INTERESTED lol
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:15:19 +0100


LISTEN MR UNEMPLOYED CHEF FROM PLYMOUTH....SITTING AT YOUR COMPUTER ALL DAY WRITING POINTLESS BLOGGS ALL OVER THE PLACE.....

TRY GETTING A LIFE - STOP TAKING THE DRUGS AND GET A JOB!!!!

LOOSER!!

Here I come to save the Daaaaaaay!!!! lol

Jally made a HASH of booking the venue. TOTAL disaster. The problem, I discovered, is that he is FRENCH. I knew this ALREADY, but I FORGOT that we traditionally HATE them. I have therefore had to spend most of last night and a LOT of today sorting out the mess he has left the band with. I had to email Chris from the Strongrooms in Portsmouth and call on ALL the negotiation skills I have learnt from those army job adverts on ITV.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: The Argyle Style
Date: Weds, 15 Oct 2008 19:06:14


Hi Chris,

I've been given your details by my Band Manager.

We're a local band about to embark on a tour up in the North of England (look out - Northern birds ROFL!!!!)

As you may already know, we're looking to play a warm-up gig before we depart, and the GOOD news is we have chosen your venue for the night of the 30th October.

Jacques-Antoine just asked me to get in touch and finalise the financial details, I think he gets a bit stuck when it comes to our currency!!!! Ignorant loser lol

So, roll up your sleeves lol, and let's talk numbers.

What are you offering?

Let me know; etc,

Julian



________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 08:57:17
Subject: Re: The Argyle Style
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Sorry Julian,

I don’t pay bands, they play at my venue for free and
there is a 3 month waiting list to do so.

Kind Regards
Chris


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
CC: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 10:37:04


Guys,

It looks like we have our first gig!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOO!!!! LOL

We are pencilled in for the 15th August at The Strong Rooms in Portsmouth for a two hour slot. The reason we are pencilled in is that
Chris (the Boss) has to reschedule a NON-signed band.

The ONLY bad news is Chris is REFUSING to pay us (tight ass ROFL), but we can probably pass a tin round or something after we rock to house with
our first couple of tracks.

Julian

PS Spencer, you owe me a fiver: BRING IT TO BAND PRACTICE ON WEDS


From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 13:51
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


The Strong Rooms is not even open on the 30th October, so you are not pencilled in anywhere apart from in your imagination. Perhaps you can get some invisible friends to come to your imaginary gig.
Woooooo Hoooooo


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 14:02


Hi Chris,

Please in future do NOT reply all and show me up like that again.

I was told by my band mate/manager, that the 30th had been "pencilled" in. He actually said something slightly different, but I had to interpret - he's French.

Have I got this all wrong?

Please let me know; either way,

Julian


________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:02:26 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


I don’t think the translation was quite correct

"Try DORKSVILLE you wine drinking, onion carrier"

Does NOT translate to

"you have a gig on the 15th at the Strong Rooms in Portsmouth"

So just to clarify, the answer is no

Here is a bigger answer for the hard of hearing

NO


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:34:42 +0000


LOL!!!!

Did you REALLY say that???????? A BIT naughty, but I LITERALLY spat my coffee out when I read that!!!!
I do NOT think you will be on his Christmas card list now!!!!

I best deal with this then. How can we get a gig at your venue in the next two (or three if you insist) months?

Let me know; etc

Julian


________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 15:49:37
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


If you can direct me to a website or myspace with your music on it,
I will check your band out and let you know if suitable for my club

Kind regards
Chris


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 16:07:39


www.myspace.com/theargylestyle

Our web man (Spencer) is supposed to be sorting it. We had a DISASTER last week when ALL our music was stolen off it and copied. So I'm not mad keen on sending it out.
Can we DEFO be guaranteed a slot if you like it? Perhaps I could call you and play it down the phone? Safer lol

Please let me know; either way,

Julian



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 16:15:58 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Sorry can’t do anything until I have heard a demo (and not down the phone lol)

Kind Regards
Chris

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:28:26 +0000


LOOK BUSTER, we are a SIGNED band, not just some two-bob outfit looking to have a laugh.

I just spoke to Jacques-Antoine, he SAID you were difficult. I put it down to him being FOREIGN, but now I can see you are RUDE, difficult and arrogant even with NORMAL people.

Can you let me know either way?

Julian


From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:30:54
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


OK, which label are you signed to??


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:42:26



Parlophone. You may not have heard of them. Your classic Radio 1/Virgin listener doesn't know some of the more underground labels.


________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Thurs, 16 Oct 2008 17:51:43 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

They forgot to add you to the list then???

http://www.parlophone.co.uk

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:36:16


Chris,

There is NO point getting shitty with me. I made you a kind offer that WOULD have brought your place significant publicity. We ALL know how much financial trouble your venue has been in recently. I appreciate you do not normally deal with the larger bands but sometimes we NEED to play the crappy venues to try new sounds etc. Sometimes we cannot afford for the press to get wind of such gigs. Don't say we didn't give you a chance. To be honest, I am fucking pissed off about this but don't you think you owe it to your customers to get a decent name from time to time? Perhaps you MAY have (finally) got laid as a result!!! LOL!!! I am not going to give you any more chances. You know where I am. Start begging "big" dog and I may NOT tell Parlophone about you and your student bar.

Let me know


________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:45:22 -0400
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Parlophone are very interested in your previous statements and your emails have been passed to their fraud department, Unfortunately as you requested payment, the police will now also be involved as impersonating a signed band to obtain money by deception is in fact a criminal act.



________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Subject: RE: Gig Confirmation
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:50:18 +0000



The France Tourist Board is interested in YOUR comments as well.

I meant Sony. I ALWAYS get the two mixed up lmao

Look, we offered (RELUCTANTLY) to play for free, so let's not get the police involved in what would become a joint Racism-Fraud case; because YOU would lose.

NO more mucking around. CAN WE PLAY YOUR VENUE OR NOT?



________________________________________
From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:40:54
Subject: Re: Gig Confirmation
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Sorry, too late and tell the wine drinking, onion carrier that the French Tourist Board
can be contacted at www.francetourism.com

The police are already involved and are monitoring your emails as we speak, you could
always say it was a practical joke that went badly wrong?

Kind Regards
Chris

********************************************************************************

Jally takes over as Band Manager

I got these from Jally's inbox. His first day of work as Band Manager for our band The Argyle Style. The SOON-To-BE biggest band in the WORLD!!!!!!!!! lmao

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 8:48 AM
Subject We play your venue please?

Dear Chris,

I am Band Manager English band for "The Argyle Style" and I play bassist of the guitar. Our band am sign with a large enterprise about disc, well know to be of course in United Kingdom. You are knowing?

We are going making a concert at the Southern West England before do check out north of for making maybe a tour. Can you interessed has ourselves band play with venue your?

We have not him silver do you pay but thanksggiving am able a large experience has ourselves abide car we are most famous in South England.

Please say if so; or if no

Thank you,

J-A


From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:09 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?


Do you have a myspace of the music?
We do not pay

Thanks
Chris

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:21 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?


You not to pay not? How that this fact? We are very known and that can gain you much money if you can be more flexible with your regulations perhaps?

If you like it could you relook your policy on the matter of this fact? We can win up to £1000 for the other venue in the area. Why you such difficult man in this scenario?

Please tell me if so; or if no,

Jacques


From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 9:24 AM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?


Never heard of you or your band??
Show me your myspace page or website

Chris


From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


Christophe,

I am only French in our band. We are an English band. Thus this is not the points to be also aggressive. Your attitude towards a also popular and known band which suits us to serve to you badly. Have an owner with whom I can continue my correspondence because have impression that almost nothing arrives with you like the chief organisaturer.

Please tell me; etc



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


I would simply like to hear your music and don’t think this is much to ask.
Do you have a myspace or a website??? Or is your band a secret???

Thanks

Chris


From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 11:53 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?

Chris,

I imagine that is not past the first time that you have to irritate which one person. I normally anticipate to give one or two dates, and the organizers are very happy us host. Instead I receive the attitude of an angry person with who the head like a monkey.
Could play us the 30th October?

Say to me if so; or if no,

J



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


AH that's easy !!!

NO of course !

Have a nice life,

Chris



From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 12:08 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?



You are serious?
Is this the example of the English and his humour?



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 13:15 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?


Yes, we are a funny bunch, we book bands we have never heard of for £1,000
and have heads like monkeys, could not get funnier could we??



From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 15:00 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


I hope you rot in a fridge like a milk cartonne where the owner of the property is go for a long holiday.




From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 15:23 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?


Owners of the property do not go on holiday in the fridge.
Please speak proper English or don't speak at all.



From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
To: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:09 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


What do you want to say with this statement you species of a jellyfish?
PERMIT ME TO RESERVE YOUR CONCERT HALL. If not I would be to oblige to write has the local newspaper about this correspondence of very regret and anger.



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:31 PM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?



then lets hope they have a translator or someone that actually speaks DORK



from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 16:37 PM
Subject Re: We play your venue please?



I am the temptation to tell the policeman how you be so rude.
I book SOMEWHERE other venue.
Thank you; for nothing at all you scoundrel of the lowest type.



From: chris@strongroomsportsmouth.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date Wed, Oct 15, 2008 17:31 AM
Subject: Re: We play your venue please?


HORRAY, try DORKSVILLE you wine drinking, onion carrier.

FINALLY Jally gets back in touch

Phew!!!! Jally has agreed to come over to Plymouth, join the band AND organise our gigs!!!
WHEN will I, will I be FAMOUS?
VERY soon lol

_______________________________________
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:42:49 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: SOS


Hello Julian!

I am very apologise for the delay to write you back. It is really very difficult has to earn the silver when you do not have a working! Now I have a small silvers but I has desperate for work the moment that I touch to Plymouth, because if not, I would not be able to eat! You aid me has to find work?

Please tell me if it is so; or if it is no, and perhaps I come more than quicker than I plan,


J-A


Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:42:49 +0100
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com


You COULD be in luck there!!!!
Spencer is MINTED (rich as). He own his own Events Company (Night Owl Events).
He is offering to PAY our Band Manager if he can get us gigs (especially if we make MONEY from them). I thought about doing the job myself but I have a FEELING I will FINALLY find a job ANY day now.
So, what do you think?
Let me know; etc

************************************************************************************

From: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:47
To: Karen Robson
Subject: To Learn the English


Dear Robson,

I espaire that you can help me. I have just accepted has station like Band Manager of an English band with a old friend in Plymouth. The problem is that I said to him that I speak in fact English courageously, but since my youth I have to forget all. They do not know because I utlise a online translating system, but the moment or I must speak face opposite they go discovered that I have make the lies.
I need to still learn English again. Do you make the course for quick learn?


Please say it to me if so; or if no,

J-A


From: Karen Robson
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:13
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Subject: To Learn the English

Dear Jacques-Antoine

Your e mail made me laugh! It sounds as if you do need a quick course. I'm interested which band you are going to be touring with?
I also attach the details of our courses - the 25hr General English course would be best for you. The only problem is we don't have any family accommodation available for a couple of weeks as October is really busy. Let me know what you want to do.

Best wishes

Karen


from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: Karen Robson
date: Mon, Oct 13, 2008 10:54 AM
subject Re: To Learn the English


Thank You Karen. I am glad you laugh. It make me very worry.

I make party of a band which is called The Argyle Style. That is large a opportunity and it is for that I do not want make bad chance of. They are sign with a major company of records. I am play the bassist of guitar.
Once again I you thank for the opportunity to learn finally and again the English.
It frighten me that you do not have accommodation. That must be very concerning during the rain - there is much rain in Great Brittaine, I have to notice -
If you want, you can rest with me in my friend (and its grandmother) in Plymouth?

Please tell me if you need this so; or if no,

J-A


From: Karen Robson
Sent: Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:13
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte [mailto:ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com]
Subject: To Learn the English


Good that you have somewhere to stay if you need to take a course with us in October. Please let me know as soon as possible if you want to book with us.
Best wishes
Karen
Don't know the group but good luck


from: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte
to: Karen Robson
date: Mon, Oct 13, 2008 11:31 AM
subject Re: To Learn the English


I look forward to learn with you.
And I hope it is you the teacher! Then we can do the lesson in the bedroom?

*******************************************************************************