I AM STILL ALiVE!!!!! lol

...but I have been VERY busy!!!!
I AM however on facebook if you want to find me. I am CURRENTLY running a campaign to watch me streak down Union St in Plymouth IF/W.H.E.N England win the Ashes on Sunday or Monday...
COME ON YOU WHITES!!!! lmao

Fish and Fingers

I'm back!!!! Sorry for my prolonged absence. It's a long story, I'll bore you with it some other time. For now, I'll just say that I won't be producing home made explosives from fireworks in Nan's shed again LOL!!!!
I wasn't LOLing at the time though. I was ROFCIB (Rolling on the floor covered in blood) LOL

The good news for you is my fingers have recovered enough to type (OBVIOUSLY!!!! lmao).

Hockey

From: rthompson@****hockey.ac.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Hockey

Hi,



I am vice-captain of the men’s first team at **** ********* Hockey Club and I understand you want more information. What exactly do you want to know? As I’m sure you understand we can not just tell you to turn up and play for the first team as we have a selection basis dependent on a number of factors.

Regards,

Richard Thompson


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey



Hi Rich,

Thanks for getting back to me. Janie TRIED to help, but women do NOT seem to understand men's hockey lol

The problem is I can NOT train this week (cos I don't have a TIME machine ROFL!!!!! joke of the day??? - please confirm)

but I DO want to play.

Can you make an exception and just put me on the wing (what formation do you play?) for Saturday? I USED to play for Devon U18 so I am VERY good.

Let me know; either way by 1300 BST,

Julian


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


I’m afraid we can’t make that exception unless we have actually seen you play. You could turn out to be unsuitable for the team or you are just trying to be a funny person and emailing with no real interest. Either way, putting you in the first team straight away would not actually be an option as there are a number of players who would be picked ahead of you this week. How about you attend training next week when you can attend and then we can discuss this? And sticking you on the wing would not be an option either as our formation does not include wingers.

Richard


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey


I have EVERY intention of playing, but YOU and your secretary (Janie) are HARDLY helping.
WHAT am I supposed to do? I have already made a joke about having a time machine - now you are calling me a FUNNY person.
There is NO joke here BUSTER. I don't know how your BRAIN works but it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to train in a week where training has ALREADY taken place.

I do NOT think an apology would go amiss at this stage. An apology for questioning my integrity.

Julian


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


Well there is training tonight as well as on a Tuesday which is why we asked you to attend tonight and you will not need to use your time machine to get to this one. As it says on the website, (www.****.co.uk) training is on both days and starts at 7.30pm tonight at *******. If you wish to attend then please feel free to do so and we will make you more then welcome, from this we could then add you to a squad so you can get a feel for playing for the club. However, if you can not attend this training then if you are free on Tuesday next week then you are welcome to attend this session at 6.30pm. I have not questioned your integrity but as you are calling our development and club member Jamie by another name this is not helping in us thinking you are a serious member. As you can see, my brain is working just fine which is why I asked you to attend training today. I appreciate you may be busy but these are the available options, please let me know what you intend to do.

Thanks

Richard

From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey


Richard,

Believe me there is NO need to take that tone with me. I am NEW to the area, but have played a LOT for other clubs in Plymouth, and now I am TRYING to join a club here in London. I am a decent player and think that you should pick me for a game THIS weekend. Jane knows why I couldn't train on Tuesday THIS week (date*) but as I HAVE EXPLAINED I will DEFO be at training next Tuesday. I am MORE than happy to help out with coaching some of the shitter teams as well. I have ALWAYS been totally commited to which other hockey clubs I have played for both on and OFF (big time) the pitch. I have NO idea why you think I am not going to commit to your so called club. I have had nothing by sarcasm and coldness from your ladies captain. All I BLOODY wanted was your details. She tried to fob me off with someone called Simon but said that he didn't have internet access (yeah right, like WHO isn't on Facebook).

Look, let's do it this way. I can't train THIS week. Far too busy and have other credit-crunch related issues (haven't we all...!!! LMAO!!). I am prepared to train NEXT Tuesday as it would be good to see if you lot are any good. If you are not prepared to select me for any team this weekend then that's a shame but it is TOTALLY your call. All I'd say is that it sends out the wrong impression of the club. I'm available if you need someone at shirt notice.

What's the position on petrol money for training? Do we keep receipts or is it built into subs??!

Finally - what is happening on the social front this weekend? I am dying for some lash and I hope I can buy you and Jane a beer and put this ALL behind us!!!! (oh, and you can point me in the direction of some of the single Memebers!!!! !ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Please let me know by 2.30pm as I am on the early shift today.

Julian

*it went BLOODY well thanks for asking!!!!! Return date THIS Friday night!!! I'm going to get her leathered!!!! LOL!!!


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


Julian,

OK, one things before we start so that we can get this sorted, Jane is actually called Jamie and is a bloke. He is captain of the 2nd Team and responsible for overseeing the development of the club and generally looks after the running of the club! On the other issue, Jamie told you about Simon who is actually the 1st team captain and male Club Captain. However, as he has recently moved he does not have the internet and is unable to access it at present and therefore I as vice captain thought it was a good idea to email you to let you know of the plans etc. I hope this makes a bit more sense and hopefully will clear up some of the confusion that surrounds this issue!

Right, on the training front, understand that you can’t train this week which is fair enough. Coming next Tuesday would be good so that we could see what you are like and see which team you would fit into rather then seeing how good we are as we already have our squads and sessions set up, although these are obviously subject to change. I would disagree with you on the front that it sends out the wrong impression of the club as there are very few sports clubs who would put an interested player straight into the first team without actually seeing what type of player they are! I apologise if this is not to your liking but that’s the club policy on this issue. Petrol money for training does not apply, all of our players come to training of their own free will and drive up on their own with no money given back to them.


I hope that this explains some more and isn’t seen as sarcasm and coldness as this is not the aim. **HC are a warm and open club to new members!

Sorry this is later then 2.30pm, I am at work and have been in a meeting.

Martin


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey


You ledge!!!

Totally embarassed about Jane/Jamie. I was full on flirting with her/him!! DAMN!!!!!!! I am NOT gay LOL!!!!

See you in the bar on Saturday for a FULL de-brief! I hope to come and watch you guys IF no one needs me to fill in.

Woooo ooooooo - HOCKEY 'NAGE is UPON US ONCE MORE!!

(where are the beers?)

JM


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


Well I am glad you are now happier, however I will not be there on Saturday as I will be away with the first team. As for beers, wouldn’t be so sure on where they are.


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey


I know dude - I'm coming to Cardiff to watch!!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys keen on a FEW beers AFTER the game in Cardiff. Full of slags!!!

Let me know big guy (EITHER WAY). This is like being back on the SHIPS!!

JM


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


Oh right, long way to come to watch a game of hockey! How exactly are you getting to Cardiff? Pretty sure there won’t be anybody who will be staying over in Cardiff as everyone will want to get back to London etc.


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Subject: RE: Hockey


Um... was kinda hoping for a lift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deal me in. I THINK I'll wear my Argyle shirt (METEOR, 2) as I have not YET got my **HC shirt and this SEEMS like the next best thing. I am PRETTY sure I can convince a FEW of you lot to have a night out in Cardiff. No need to book anywhere FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD!!! ROFL!!

Let me know the meet time/place.

JM

From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


One problem is that we have a limited amount of space due to kit and people we have to take so I am unsure if there will be room. My suggestion for this week would be to watch the 2nd team play at home on Saturday and then see what that standard is like. Unfortunately I think you are wrong on the staying over front as we will definitely be coming straight back.


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: Richard Thompson
Cc: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


No disrespect to the second team, but I would prefer to watch LEAGUE hockey.
PLUS I need to get out on a road trip - got myself a BIT of a reputation with the ladies in this town rofl!!!!!

Add me to the 1st team loop and we can sort out the logistics.
I just phoned my mate (in cc) and he MAY be willing to drive his minibus up there if we ask nicely!!!! lol

Let me know; either way,

Julian


From: Richard Thompson
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Hockey


Hi Julian,


I am afraid that I can not accept the offer of the mini bus to take the team to Cardiff and then stay over. I admire you for your effort to find ways to get up there yet the team will be travelling up together. As for arranging things without actually being in the team this is not something that can happen as I am not responsible for giving the go ahead for things like this and as you don’t actually know or have met any of the people involved I do not feel that this is appropriate for our team. As you will find if you attend training, our club does not appear to fit in with your outgoing personality re. staying out over night in cardiff and therefore I am going to request that you please do not come to the game on Saturday. As I have said, training is the time and place to meet the squad and then get to know them and not via email. I apologise if you find this not to your liking but this is the decision made. There are many other hockey clubs in London which may suit you more then our club appears to.

Please do not make any more arrangements in terms of transport to Cardiff for Saturday, we have our own ways of getting there and back.

Thank you for your interest.

Richard


RE: Hockey‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
To: Richard Thompson

Sticktease

:(

Honeys Drought

I am VERY worried. The above graph speaks for itSELF.
I am not SO sad that I graph my sexual statistics ALL the time; in fact I don't EVEN like to talk about them, but my ALARMING slump in form (which SEEMS to stem from the loss of confidence since some NASTY people have started writing negative comments on my blog posts) has prompted me to go into my black book of conquests and check if this is not JUST a perception problem.
Sadly, as is PROVEN above, I SEEM to be in a slump.

Any tips* on how to turn this around are MUCH appreciated.

*I am NOT cutting my hair before you ask lol (Samson)

Weather Report

I can confirm there are EXACTLY six inches of snow!!!!!!!!!
lol

Don't ask me how I know, but I got a LOT of strange looks when I was testing it this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PMSL

My New Gym

One thing I have noticed about London, apart from the fact that it is a MYTH that it's easy to get a job, is that people round here are JUST as capable of doing dumb things.
My NEW gym, where I have been spending a LOT of my time lately emailed ALL its members on Wednesday about some sort of offer. Even I know that when you email LOTS of people, you do NOT use CC!!!!!!! lol
Once again, I have changed ALL addresses and names etc to protect the innocent (whatever THAT means!!!! lol)

-----Original Message-----
From: Brian Simpson"
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:20
To: Cc: ***Approx 500 emails Removed***
Subject: Permanent Locker Offer

Dear Member,

We hope you are enjoying your membership with us here at Super Sports.
If you have been in the club in the last few months you will have noticed that we recently added more lockers to the changing room area and outside the studio. This is ideal if you are using the club during the week and fed up of carrying your training kit to and from work or maybe you want to cycle to the club in the morning and get ready for work at the club. We have limited availability left on the lockers that are available to hire on a permanent basis and wanted to offer you the chance to purchase a Locker for £15 per month. If you wish to take up this offer then please drop me an email or alternatively speak to our reception team, but be quick as we are looking to close the list on Locker hire at the end of January.

Hope to see you in the club soon


Healthy Regards

Brian

Assistant Manager

Super Sports

1-6 ****** Row EC2A 3HH

Tel: 020 ******* | Fax: 020 *******

w | ************.co.uk

-----Original Message-----
From: Gordon Muller [mailto:gordonmuller@theinsertfarm.com]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:21
To: Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses Removed***
Subject: Re: Permanent Locker Offer


GREAT so even fewer lockers available for when most of us come to train at lunch time...


From: john.collins@cdhconsulting.co.uk
Sent: 27 January 2008 10:22
To: Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


And generally most other times…


From: Sandra Roberts [mailto:sandra@jrbmarketing.com]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:23
To: John Collins; Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


WHY THE MASS MAIL???
HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF BCC????


From: Theresa Harper [mailto:theresa@snvs.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 10:36 AM
To: Sandra Roberts; John Collins; Gordon Muller; Brian Simpson;
Cc: ***Approx 500 addresses removed***
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


Hi

Can people please stop replying to all it is blocking our system with the amount of email addresses attached

Thank you

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 11:50
To: theresa@snvs.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


Is your system ok now? I NEED to reply all to this

Let me know; either way,

J


From: theresa@snvs.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 11:56:13 +0100


Yes its fine now,

thank you

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 13:18
To: Theresa Harper
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


Are you single?


From: theresa@snvs.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 13:21


Y??


Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***



From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Date: 27 January 2009 13:24
To: Theresa Harper
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer


Derrrrrrrr.... I'm trying to get laid you malcolm

lol!


________________________________________
From: Theresa Harper
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Permanent Locker Offer
Date: 27 January 2009 13:27


Well do you mind emailing me on my work address get a life sado wot did u email every one or somin well done round of applause clap clap clap
And if you think your gonna get ladid like that then think again sunshine.

Theresa Harper
Compliance Officer
********* & ******* Services Ltd
Unit ******
The ****** Centre
& **** Street
London
NW** ***

******************************************************************

From: Brian Simpson [mailto:brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk]
Date: 27 January 2009 15:41
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Subject: Sorry


Dear Member,

Please accept my sincere apologies. I entered the email addresses in the wrong box by complete mistake and did not mean for anyone’s personal emails to be seen or for the mass circulation of emails. Please do NOT reply to the first email and contact me direct. Once again my apologies.

Regards

Brian


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:44
To: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry


LOL!!!

You SOOOO did this on purpose?!?!?!!!!! Didn't you?!?!?!! LMAO?!!!!!

Did you?

Can you let me know; either way?


J


From: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:55


Julian,

Trust me, I certainly did not do this on purpose. The backlash that I have suffered from my stupid mistake was really not fun. Certainly not one of my finest moments.

So there you go,.. no not on purpose.

Regards

Brian


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 27 January 2009 15:59
To: Brian Simpson
Subject: RE: Sorry


Did you get sacked?


From: brian.simpson@supersports.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Sorry
Sent: 27 January 2009 16:10


No


***ENDS***

Julian "Branson" Meteor lol

I am OFFICIALLY an entrepreneur!!! lol
As you KNOW, Nan has given me some cash to make a go of it in the centre of the UNIVERSE - London.
This money was NOT intended to WASTE on buying drinks for HONEYS. As a matter of principle I NEVER buy honeys drinks anyway. If I bought a drink for them EVERY time I chatted one up I would waste a LOT of money.
I digress. I've bought myself a METAL Detector!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I canNOT believe I hadn't thought of it before. It is a money-making MACHINE.
Actually, I'll rephrase that, it's a money FINDING machine!!!! lol
I went to that new Westfield shopping Centre which is MUCH better than Plymouth's Drake Circus on Sunday and found £4.50in just TWO hours work!!!!!!!
So, all those credit crunch strugglers, USE YOUR BONCES, get off your BACKSIDES and start thinking CREATIVELY of ways to make money.
BTW I have BAGGSIED Westfield, so don't even THINK about treading my patch.

In other news I am NOW signed up to a site I stumbled upon called Twitter, it has NOTHING to do with YOU KNOW WHAT and it's BRILLIANT!!!!!!
Please follow my movements on Twitter.