Wednesday, 24 December 2008

See you in 2009!!!!! lol


I am going to see Nan for Christmas, so i will NOT be blogging until then.
She has CANCELLED her broadband subscription since I moved out :(

lmao

Monday, 22 December 2008

OWL Update


Update on my quest to remove ALL trace of owls from the internet.
It's NOT going well.
These owl pushers can be VERY stubborn:
Here's a response to one of the MANY emails I sent out:


***Original Message***
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
To: contact@manyhoots.org
Subject: Owl ISSUES


I have reason to believe you are an owl pusher and your run THIS site - http://www.manyhoots.org/

I for one HAPPEN to think it is VERY distasteful.

Please remove your website by 5pm LATEST

Gives me the RIGHT shivers.

Let me know; either way

Julian


RE: Owl ISSUES‏
From: Pete Donovan (contact@manyhoots.org)
Sent: 15 December 2008 19:18:42
To: 'Julian Meteor' (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)


Sorry to upset you, but if you don’t like the site please don’t go on it then, what do you mean by owl pusher anyway?I thought it gave a lot of information to people that wanted to learn more respectfully


RE: Owl ISSUES‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 18 December 2008 11:01:04
To: Owl - do NOT tell mummy (contact@manyhoots.org)

Are you going to take it down or not?

Can you just let me know either way?


Subject: OWL ISSUEs‏
From: Pete Donovan (contact@manyhoots.org)
Sent: 16 December 2008 20:48:24
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Hello Julian.

In answer to your question take it down let me know, I am sorry to disappoint you but I cannot do that as i feel that many hoots does a good job in helping a variety of birds back to the wild, look closer on the many hoots pages and you will see pictures of the birds they have helped.

Anyway aren’t you the Julian who went to Devonport High School for boys in 1986, and did you go on to chef school and went in the merchant navy as a chef on the ******** cruises, if it is I think I knew you. Anyway Julian No This Kestrel was a wild bird that had to have its leg taken off, it is now fine and is looked after by the team at many hoots. We will not close the site for anyone that gets upset we do a good job please take the time and look at all the pages on the site and not just the two you looked at , I do not wish to upset you but please consider all the wild life we help that you do not even know about

Take care Julian, with respect the team at ManyHoots.

Friday, 19 December 2008

Anyone for tennis???? lol


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 18 December 2008 10:56
To: jenny.storey@queensclub.co.uk
Subject: Queens Club Membership Query

Dear Jenny,

I have just moved to London and I am a MAD KEEN tennis player lol!

I see your club is the most local to my new flat and I am DESPERATE to join in time for next summer, but I wanted to first ask a discreet question as there is nothing on the website to aid me.
The name "Queens" implies the members MIGHT not be, well normal/straight. I have NOTHING against them, but I need to check cos it would have all sorts of implications in terms of changing facilities, social etc.

I trust you understand and look forward to your response; either way,

Julian


Subject: The Queens Club
Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:34:11 +0000
From: James.Herbert-Brown@queensclub.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Dear Julian

My colleague Jenny has forwarded your email regarding membership at The Queen’s Club and the following 2 paragraphs from the website should clearly explain the history of the Club and why the Club is known as ‘The Queen’s Club’.

‘The Queen's Club, established in 1886, was the first multipurpose sports complex ever to be built, anywhere in the world. The Club was named after Queen Victoria, its first patron, and is widely renowned as one of the premier Lawn Tennis and Racquets clubs in the world. The Club has hosted as many as twenty-five different sporting activities and, as well as lawn tennis, has been the scene for such varied sports as ice-skating, baseball, athletics and rugby.
Throughout its history, the Club has been an exceptional sporting venue, and today hosts the world famous Stella Artois Championships, the World Rackets Championships and leading Real Tennis events, including the British Open. The Club boasts 28 outdoor Lawn Tennis courts, of which 12 are arguably the finest grass courts in the world, 8 indoor Lawn Tennis courts, 2 Real Tennis courts, 2 Rackets courts, 3 squash courts and a gymnasium. The Club also offers excellent hospitality facilities, including an elegant restaurant, cafe, museum, and President's Room - all located within the Members' Clubhouse. The overall setting is both tranquil and charming. This, together with the array of racquets sports available, is why The Queen's Club remains one of the most coveted memberships in the country’.
The Queen’s Club is a private members club and candidates who wish to apply for membership of the Club should know two existing members who are willing to support the application and for your information the current Full membership waiting list is a minimum of 1 year.

If you require further information please contact the Membership Office.

Regards

James


James Herbert-Brown
Membership & Marketing Manager

The Queen's Club
Palliser Road
West Kensington
London
W14 9EQ

Telephone: 020 **** ****
Fax: 020 **** ****

RE: The Queens Club‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 18 December 2008 13:51:59
To: James.Herbert-Brown@queensclub.co.uk


Hi Jamie,

Thanks a lot for this. Just to reiterate, I have NOTHING against them, but I had to check because I would imagine if it was just for homosexuals, the standard of tennis would surely be compromised; if you know what I mean. Arthur Ashe? I hear you say... well, he is just one of thousands of tennis champions - there is ALWAYS an exception.

Anyway, it's not an issue. How much is membership and does it matter if the two members I know are female and HATE each other?

Can you let me know?

Thanks,

J

***No Reply***

Thursday, 18 December 2008

London > Plymouth


Things move FAST in London. I looked at a studio flat in Kilburn (FAR more central than my previous NIGHTMARE in Milton Keynes) and decided to move in STRAIGHT away.
Moving my stuff did NOT take long.
My observations on London so far:
1. You are NOT allowed to talk on public transport. I HAD been warned about this, but it was PISSING down outside, so when we got on the bus I just turned to the person next to me (old chap, LOTS of tattoos) and said "nice day outside lol"!!!
Not EVEN a smile from him. IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!! Lighten UP!!!!
2. There are NO trees. Therefore NO, you know...! lol. NO BIRDS! Of ANY type.!!!!! BEST NEWS EVER!!
3. You canNOT swim in the Thames. EVEN in a wetsuit.
4. No-one talks to you, APART from policemen (when you are caught trying to do a couple of widths of the Thames to stay fit)
5. Getting a job here is going to be a CINCH!!!! lmao
I got up EXTRA early this morning to study the COMMON traits of the working people of London. Do they walk differently? Do they ALL read funny-coloured newspapers? Do I HAVE to own a suit if I am going to find work?
What did I find? I found that every other worker is a WOMAN!!!!!! lol
Even HONEYS can get jobs!!! If THEY can, I DEFO can rofl

Moving to London was the BEST thing I've done. EVER.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

NOT letting bygones be bygones (until they are bygones)


In hindsight I SHOULD have put the disappointment of yesterday's gazumping (or nearest rental equivalent) behind me, but Julian Lennon Meteor will NOT tolerate being mucked around.

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Mr Bradley,

Your friend Hugo has massively let me down. First he told me I could have the flat, then he said I couldn't and now he said he has rented it out to some random (but has produced NO proof of this). I don't really have time for his stupid games. Please can you sort this mess out? I have given notice on my flat in North London (Milton Keynes) based on what Hugo/you had PROMISED me. I hardly think it's fair to withdraw the flat now. Spencer will go bananas as I have already confirmed use of the band's van.

Sorry to get you involved but your "mate" seems to be ingoring me.

Let me know ASAP.

Julian

________________________________________
From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Whoa there! All I did is pass you the details. The rest is between you and this guy Hugo. I have sent him your email asking him to sort this out but there's no point in having a go at me, I can't do anything else about it.


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Brady/Hugo,

Between you guys please do me the smallest service and SORT YOUR STORIES OUT. Don't for a moment think I don't know what is going on - it stinks I can tell you. I bet you were using my interest in the flat to play against other people to raise the level of rent. I think that's DISGUSTING. I came to you guys in GOOD FAITH and you are colluding to defraud me of a place to live.

Thanks; for nothing.

I HOPE you will both reconsider.

Let me know; ASAP.

Julian.


________________________________________
From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Julian -- I can assure I have no idea what you are on about. All I did is send out an email request that I got from a mate. That is the end of my participation in this process, aside from passing on your email address. Everything that has gone on from that point is between you and Hugo.

Now, I suggest that you get YOUR story straight before you go around accusing me of something that I have no involvement in whatsoever.


Thanks.

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008

Bill,

You KNOW I am NOT happy with this, but I will LEAVE you with a thought and let's hope this is the END of this sorry episode:

It is NO WONDER the last person left when you are such a DISHONEST landlord.

Julian

PS I was NOT happy about living with Higo anyway. The LAST German I lived with used to piss in the shower.


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Any news?


From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Julian,

I can not be any clearer about this and you seem to be under the impression I'm messing you around. This is NOT my flat but is Hugo's. I have nothing to do with this except for letting a few people on the London Argyle Supporters loop know about a flat for rent. I'm not the landlord here, Hugo is. I can not help you out with any of this as it is NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!!!!!

If I get any other emails on this matter, with the exception of an apology from you as I have done absolutely nothing wrong, then they will be ignored. I suggest you have a really long think about this and realise that what I am saying might just be true and you may have actually made a mistake.

William


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


I can NOT believe this.

So I am supposed to believe you sold the flat OVER NIGHT to Hugo? Even though you 'claim' you barely even know him?

BULLSHIT.

YOU should be the one apologising and YOU KNOW IT.

See you in court; either way.


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: FW: Flat For Rent
Date: 17 December 2008


Spence, THIS is the buffoon who is responsible for the van bookings. Do you think we can get our money back?


From: Spencer Fairbrother
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
CC: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: FW: Flat For Rent
Date: 17 December 2008


Hi Hugo,

I'm not the sort to cry over spilt milk, as it were, but I wish to register an extreme disappointment with you. I spent £80 on hiring a van which I no longer need. Please, just for a moment, consider how you would feel in this situation.

Yours,

Spencer


From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Look, I'm am really tired of saying this... I have nothing to do with this. My name is William (or Bill). I passed on an email from a friend of a friend who was looking for his flat to be rent. That person is called Hubert (Hugo in the emails). That is where my participation in this ended.


Since then, Julian has had a number of email conversations with Hubert (not me) about Hubert's flat (not mine). I have no idea why Julian thinks that I have any other involvement in this.

I have explained on a number of occasions but he doesn't seem to understand. I AM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON FROM THIS HUBERT GUY AND HAVE HAD NO INVOLVEMENT BEYOND PASSING ON THE ORIGINAL EMAIL.

If Julian fails to understand that then I cannot do much about it but the fact remains, I have nothing to do with this and am bloody sick of explaining it.

This ends now. Julian needs to take up his beef with Hubert and stop hassling me.


William


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Do you have Hugo's contact details?


-----Original Message-----
From: William Brady
To: Spencer Fairbrother
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Hi Spencer,

I only have his email address which is hubertvan********@gmail.com. I have not met the guy as was passed this through a mate. I think he lives in Amsterdam.

As you seem to understand my position can you please try and explain it to Julian too? I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't believe me but I think coming from you he may listen a little more. I don't want there to be any bad feeling about this all as it's me that seems to be getting the brunt of this. I know it must be frustrating from his/your side but taking it out on me as an innocent person in all this isn't really the solution.


Thanks.


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


William,

You only gave me one address.
I will need both Hugo's and Hubert's addresses if I am to get to the bottom of this and recoup my £80.

I am not short of a bob, but it's the principal.

Spencer

PS I take it you are happy to settle on £26.66 each if the others are too? Not much, really, when split three ways.


From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 16 December 2008


Spencer,

There is only 1 person -- Hubert. But during some of the conversations I think his name got confused and he got called Hugo but it is definitely just 1 person, Hubert.

I'm not willing to pay anything. I have tried to explain many times that I had no interaction with any of this. I simply passed on an email at the beginning of the process and then was not involved at all until I got a crappy email from Julian shouting at me to sort it out because it had been let to someone else. I don't see why I therefore should have to pay for something that is nothing to do with me.

I'm really sorry, but this is something that needs to be sorted out with Julian, you and Hubert. Surely the attached copy of the original emails shows this?

As far as I'm concerned, that is the end of my dealings with any of this and I don't expect to see any more emails about this matter.

Thanks.

William


***The End***

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Are ALL Londoners W***ers?


NOT happy. My plan to move into MORE cetral London location has hit a blip.
The ONLY good thing to come of it is that me and Spence are getting on again.
When I have bezzies like him back home, I sometimes wonder why I BOTHER trying to make it (whatever THAT means lol) in London.
Is EVERYONE in the capital a TOTAL ass?

From: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: Flat For Rent
To: *25 Addresses Removed*
Date: 14 December 2008

Hi everyone,

A mate of mine has a flat for rent in Islington close to Tufnell Park/Archway tubes. If anyone's interested, or you know of anyone that might be interested, follow the link below to Gumtree.com:

http://www.gumtree.com/london/&^/*&*&*&*.html

Thanks.

WB

________________________________________

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: billbrady242@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 14 December 2008


Bradley,

Is this flat STILL available? I cannot access Gumtree. Please can you forward my email to him.

Best

JM


Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park


Dear Julian,

I hope you are well.

A mutual contact provided me your details (Bill Brady from London Argyle Supporters). I understand you may be seeking an apartment to rent. I have a privately let apartment which will become available from 22nd December, when our tennant of 2.5 years moves away to New York.
The apartment details are attached, however if you have any questions or wish to arrange a viewing, just let me know. Likewise feel free to text me on 0031 *** *** *** and I can either call or SMS you back.
The apartment is near Hamstead Heath as well as all the Tube and Bus connections of Tufnell Park and Archway stations. Postcode is N19 ***

Thanks Julian.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

With kind regards,

Hubert Van ********


Date: 14 December 2008
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent



Hi Hubert!

I need MORE details lol

Can you let me know; either way?

Julian


Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***


Hi Julian,

Could I get your mobile number, or SMS me via your own?

I am going to be offline though we can arrange a viewing to suit you if you, if you're interested?

Thank you,

Hubert


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Flat For Rent
Date: 14 December 2008


Hugo,

I am a little concerned about the price. Is it negotiable? I suspect I am not the ONLY person feeling the effects of the credit crunch! Also, would you say this is a "lucky" flat in terms of getting the girls back? I'm on a fantastic run at the moment and would HATE for it to come to an end because of YOUR flat. I would have sent you an SMS (whatever THAT is!!) but I am out of credit until payday. I ALWAYS run out of money!!! LOL!!!! In light of that, I assume you do not NEED a deposit as a friend recommended me to you? I would LOVE to arrange a viewing.

Please let me know; either way; by 12noon (GMT).

Kind regards,

JM



________________________________________
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008


Hi Julian,

(Its Hubert by the way and an SMS is a text message, though I think you figured that out :)

Lots of points there... let me try and tackle! Seriously though, yes a deposit is needed (always) and the cost is actually reasonable already (the rent hasn't been raised in two and half years already).

If you still wish to arrange make a viewing let me know ASAP and/or text me on 0031 *** *** ***, when you have credit.

Also, I shall be in London this weekend so perhaps can view with you on Saturday?

Thanks a lot. Speak later.

Hubert


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Flat available Tufnell/Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008


This all sound ok.
Tell me more about YOU. I NEED to know about you if we are going to live together and hang out three times a week.
Are you a good wingman?
Record meet-to-shag time?
Out of ten what do you think of Leona Lewis? (this gives me an idea of your standards)
What score are you on for the year? (Honeys you have done)

I will pay a deposit RELUCTANTLY and MAY be able to look round on Saturday. Can you pick me up from the station? (Euston). I will give you petrol money.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 622 863 616.
Date: 14 December 2008


Hi Julian,

The appartment is for rent as it is. We will not be living together - Further info attached.
Also, would like to learn about you too. It is after all my apartment you'll be renting :)

Thanks

Hubert


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008


Don't worry about ME, Hubo lol

I do NOT do drugs and I ALWAYS put my condoms in the bin rofl

I will NOT make a mess.

Can I move in? And can you pick me up from the station? Do you have a big car?

Let me know; etc

Julian


________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008


Any news?


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.


Is your studio still available?


Date: 14 December 2008
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.


Hi Julian,

I presume you don't wish to move in :)
Thanks and good luck!

Hubert



From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 14 December 2008



WOE (what on earth) gave you that impression!
I have always said I am interested! I merely asked for a lift from Euston (I am coming in from Milton Keynes ESPECIALLY for this Saturday's viewing - it's the least you can do) and now you say I can't have the flat? Please explain what it was that I said to rent it to someone else.
OK OK I was worried about the rent but that does NOT mean I can't make payments. My rental record has been very good for over 10 months now. I CAN get references IF you do not believe me. I hope you are not just ANOTHER time waster. I do not think you are as you seem fairly genuine.

If you do not want me then fine. But please give me a little more respect that just fobbing me off with a smiley.

Let me know; either way by 11.15am GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) LATEST.

Julian.


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008


Hubs

Re this weekend. Do you want me to bring all my stuff to move in or is this just a viewing? Only I have been offered use of my ex-band's van for Saturday and it seems a shame not to take them up on it! Also, it means you no longer have to come to Euston to pick me up! I'm looking for a new band in London, so do you think your neighbours would mind the occasional band practice (your spare room/study would be PERFECT LOL!!!!) - we promise not to bring TOO many groupies home!!!!!! LMAO!!!! (laughing my ass off).

Anyway - really looking forward to it. Are there any good pubs nearby? Is Hampstead Heath as full of gays as they say??!!! I am NOT gay but Spencer (bezzie) is often accused of being that way inclined. I have NO problem with gays BTW (by the way) just not in my band please!!!!!!!!

PS - you missed yesterday's deadline. I guess the language barrier may have got in the way! Without wanting to put pressure on you, the guys REALLY need to know about the van today.

Please let me know; either way,

JM


From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008


Hi Julian,

Sorry the flat is going to another person. I also know the house is 'quiet' and the neighbours (family) would not permit band practice.

Sorry it didn't work out. Though wish you the best of luck.

All the best.

Hubert


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008


LOL!!!!

I LOVE the Dutch sense of humour!!!

Let's get serious for a moment, though. We will be setting off V (very) EARLY so as to avoid the traffic and our
ETA (estimated time of arrival) is 6am.

Will you be up?

I would say "leave the door on the latch", but

A) this could be a security risk
B) I don't want to just walk in only to find you wanking on the sofa!!! lmao


Let me know; either way,

Julian


________________________________________
From: hubertvan*******@gmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Dartmouth Park -- Hubert: 0031 *** *** ***.
Date: 15 December 2008


I am letting you know,

The flat is gone to another person.

Good luck Julian, with your search.

All the best

Hubert




________________________________________

Monday, 15 December 2008

No sex this weekend (WTF!?) lol


This London move has NOT got off on the right foot.
I'm staying with my uncle in a north London suburb called Milton Keynes and I am NOT impressed.
It is crud. I KNOW the pavements aren't lined with gold as they say, but I expected MORE lights and stuff. I thought EVERYTHING would have an advert on like Picadilly Circus. Is Picadilly Circus a real place? I have seen it on google images but I walked for HOURS on Saturday afternoon and could NOT find it. All I saw were roundabouts. Flippin loads of them.
Coupled with this, for the FIRST time this year I got NO sex on the weekend. Not even a PASH from my Saturday night out.
I watched X Factor at home and the result SHOULD have been a sign that it was NOT going to be a good night (Hello? JLS - best Non-metal band since the Beatles... CLEARLY. Iss the British public STUPID?), put on my BEST satin shirt (red, shiny, a TOTAL magnet, as proved by its 95% wear:SEX ratio) I ended up in a nightclub called Oceana and got LOADS of odd looks for being on my own (solo SEX missions are more accepted in Plymouth, clearly).
I do NOT want to talk ANY more about the night and I HOPE my 2.50AM LTD (last throw of the dice) was not caught on CCTV. It was PLAGUED with bad luck.
Back home, every now and then I need to use LTD tactics and they NEVER fail.
The theory is that at 2.50am (if we are working to the usual 3am closure of a nightclub) EVERYONE is smashed, so you need to proposition as MANY honeys as possible to avoid the EMBARRASMENT of leaving on yur own. (At Zeroes the bouncers kick you BACK IN if you try to leave alone ROFL).
The way to do this is to eliminate those with boyfriends first - you do NOT want to be spending VALUABLE time convincing people in relationships that YOU are the better bet. It is UNethical (and more importantly it takes 11 minutes on average!!!!!! LOL) - so you go up to everyone and just enquire (POLITELY) - "Are you single?".
In fact, I've eliminated the "Are you" from that question to save even MORE time. If possible, you ALSO pinch their bum or honk a boob (with car noise if they LOOK like they have a sense of humour) at the same time.
Trouble is, for SOME reason my LTD tactics ended with me being thrown out JUST as I was about to hit the jackpot (well, at THAT size I DOUBT she would have had the gaul to turn ME down). I HATE jealous bouncers.

I have been warned that MK is NOT the heartbeat of London so I am looking to move ASAP. Anyone got a room more centrally?

Let me know; either way...

Friday, 12 December 2008

London - AAAAAAAHHHHHH


I am VERY nervous about my move to the BIG smoke (that's what THEY call it lol).
I am TRYING to think of ways to back out but Nan is not having ANY of them.
I am SO scared!!! rofl
SO many questions keep running round my head abut the place:
Do I HAVE to carry a knife like everyone else?
How will I be able to text my honeys when I am on the London Underground?
How will I keep track of the Argyle results?
Do they have bands in London APART from the BIG ones?
What if EVERYONE is gay? How will I schnaffle up honeys?
What about getting a job???
WHAT if I can't get one?

I HAVE come up with ONE idea.
(Bare WITH me on this)

I take up drugs. Go HEAVY lol.
I have never DONE drugs but for THIS scheme I am willing to try.
I find a heroin dealer. Buy some heroin. Eat it. Get MASSIVELY addicted.
(and high lol. Whatever THAT feels like). Then, (a BIT like Kate Moss, Pete Doherty or the LESS famous ones) I develop a £10,000 a week habit. As is ALWAYS the case I will get DESPERATE for my next hit (I've seen the films), then due to my lack of job I will be FORCED to turn to crime to feed the addiction. If I prove to be GOOD at crime (I will assess this over a four week period), I will then INSTANTLY give up the drugs.
Four weeks LATER, by MY calculations, I SHOULD have £40,000.
TAX FREE!!!!!!

LATWTTB!!!!!!!!!!!
(laughing all the way to the bank)


Probably just as well I have found this money solution!!!
I found out that my CV is NOT as polished as I THOUGHT! lol
It MAY explain my WELL-publicised job woes.
Message to readers (a VERY valuable one during the credit crunch):

CHECK your CV

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: CV


Hi Michelle,

I am ABOUT to move to London and I am KEEN to embark on a career in media. Are you the right person to send a cv to?

A quick answer would be VERY much appreciated,

Thanks,

J


Subject: RE: CV
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
From: Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


yes...is that quick enough?

Michelle Cowell
Director

Tel: 020 7*** ****

www.gorillarecruitment.co.uk


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV


LOL!!!!!! As fast as Ben Johnson on drugs!!!!! (NB I do NOT do drugs!!!!)

So, what do I need to do?

ANOTHER quick response pls,

J


Subject: RE: CV
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
From: Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


CV please!

Michelle Cowell
Director
Tel: 020 **** ****


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV


Demanding!!!!!

See attached,

What you got for me??????????/

Let me know; either way,

J


RE: CV‏
From: Michelle Cowell (Michelle@gorillarecruitment.co.uk)
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

According to your CV you're not even born yet and your spelling needs some attention.

Sorry I don't think we are able to help but good luck in your search.

Regards
Michelle


Michelle Cowell
Director
Tel: 020 **** ****

www.gorillarecruitment.co.uk


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: Thu 11-Dec-08
To: Michelle Cowell
Subject: RE: CV


GOOD. I don't NEED a job cos Nan has given me LOADS of money, she has just asked for PROOF that I'm applying for jobs.

You pick me up on MY spelling? You can't even spell you OWN surname.

I couldn't care LESS what YOU think. You are NOTHING to me. From NOW, you will never have ANY significance to me.

YOU WILL REGRET THIS. I will PROVE that to you.

Julian Meteor is going to be a BIG PLAYER in London, lady.

JUST YOU WATCH ;either way,

Julian

*******************************************************************
Please note: I didn't actually SEND this last email. I drafted it, but TOTALLY
bottled sending it IN CASE London is like Plymouth and everyone knows each other.
It's ALL about networking. lol

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Leaving Plymouth - AT LAST!!!!


Look out London!!!!! lol
I'm a coming!!!!!
I have DECIDED to up sticks, get out of Plymouth and CHASE the dream!!!!
Well, that is NOT strictly true. Nan has FORCED me to go to London and get a job lol.
I have PROVED (by showing her ALL my emails - a LOT of which are featured on this blog) that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a job in Devon, so she has given me some 'start-up cash' (WAY too much lol - she has NO idea about modern currency. Shilling my ASS rofl)
So, the FIRST thing I did was go out and buy a car so I can even GET there...

"W-Reg (2000) Cherry Red, Renault Megane Sport Coupe for sale, UNDER 46,000 "REAL" miles on the clock. FSH (last serviced in June this year), CD player, A/C, Electric Windows, Multi function steering wheel. Car is in excellent condition considering it's age. One previous owner before me which was a leasing company, and full documents are available. Taxed for another 2 months, MOT until August 2009. Only 1 key. New car forces sale. £2,000

Tel. 01*** ******.. 07*********
E-mail.. jjjspoon@googlemail.com"



From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 10:25 AM


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT this car???!!!!!!
What's your best price??????

Let me know,

J-Road


Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 10:59
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Hello..J road !

If you want the car then phone me.... 01*** ******...or..07*********

James


From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 12:51 PM


How fast is it? Metric SYSTEM PLEASE!!!!

Julian (Kilo)Meteor


Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 12:00:43 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


If you are serious then phone me, otherwise leave it.


From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 1:08 PM


What is WRONG with you people? A minute ago you were a REAL laugh and I was
looking FWD to coming to see the fucking car. NOW you come across like a
split-personality WEIRDO.

FYI I am out of credit on my mobile, hence needing to ask more questions
before I get a chance to buy MORE credit.

I honestly don't know why I fucking bother.


Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 12:15:11 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


The car is fast enough.
There is NO need to swear at me in your message.
Everything about the car is IN the ad. I can't say anymore.
You need to view it if you are interested. If so, tell me properly you would
like to view and I will give you my address.....or use a house phone. Or a
friend's phone.

I sell many cars...never do interested persons ask me "how fast does it
go?"
They view, they like or dislike..buy or not buy. Some negotiate AFTER seeing
the car.
No problem.
Thanks for enquiry....


From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 1:34 PM



Give me your mobile number, I will call you later.

Will you be at home?


Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 14:40:50 +0000
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


The ad. gives you my numbers.
I did give you my mobile earlier today in first message.
It is...07*** ******


From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Renault Megane Sport Coupe
To: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008, 3:00 PM


Can I RTC?


RE: Renault Megane Sport Coupe ‏
From: jjjspoon@googlemail.com
Date: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 20:03:49
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)

YES.


*************************************************************

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

The 2008 Annual Meteor Awards


In CASE I forget I have decided to announce my annual awards EARLY this year.
These awards are all about ME and MY opinions, but I expect MOST of my readers to WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with them.
These awards have been taking place since the TURN of the century, but this is the FIRST time they have been blogged.

Without further ado lol:

Best acronym: LOL
Best initialism (this is a BRAND new award - only just learnt what one IS lol): ROFFYM
(Beats the holder of the award of EACH of the last eight years - LMAO
Best Member of the Meteor Family: Nan (L.E.D.G.E. but I will DEFO win it next year if she FINALLY kicks the bucket rofl)
Best Dead person: Steve Irwin
Most recognisable 'mote: O.O (The Owl)
Best Band: My Chemical Romance
Best Position: DOGGY!!!!! (unBEATable lol)
Best Musician: Rick Allen (STILL undefeated at the Meteor Awards in his category)
WORST creature: Owl (Eighth year in a row and RUNaway winner)
Best Abbrev: 'NAGE
And finally:
The Meteor Honey of the Year 2008:
Leona Lewis (WHO ELSE!!!!!!!!! lol)


Each living and/or tangible winner will receive an email.

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

i HATE owls


As part of my campaign to make owls extinct by 2012, I have come up with a plan.
They need to KNOW we hate them. THEN they will stop reproducing and then maybe JUST maybe they will die out (and my insomnia will DEFO end for good).
This plan is inspired by the way Nan suggested we treat the local gypsies at a FAMOUS Neighbourhood Watch meeting in 1992. We were ALL given stickers which said "Gypos Go Home". It worked an ABSOLUTE treat.
So, MY variation on this is that you take my badge ABOVE and put it on YOUR blog/website. BEFORE long EVERYONE will have one and then THEY may get the message.
Not so WISE now, are we?

Bastards.

Monday, 8 December 2008

Operation: Get Owls off the Internet


You MAY think the odds are against me, but I have begun my one man mission to get Owls OFF the internet.
Since the internet is the centre of EVERYTHING, this should be beginning of the end for that most sinister of creatures. I FULLY expect them to be extinct (thanks to me - and YOU if you can help) by 2012.
It starts here, everyone. OWLS MUST GO.


Subject: Owl Blog‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 8th December 2008 10:30:16
To: d*****@ecs.soton.ac.uk


I will ask you NICELY first:

PLEASE take down your owl blog from the local internet.
It is VERY distasteful.

Thanks in advance; either way,

Julian


(No Subject)‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 8th December 200810:41:26
To: whitfest@btinternet.com



I have reason to believe you are an owl pusher and your run THIS site - http://www.manyhoots.org/

I for one HAPPEN to think it is VERY distasteful.

Please remove your website by 5pm LATEST

Gives me the RIGHT shivers.

Let me know; either way

Julian



Subject: URGENT‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 07 November 2008 15:46:53
To: info@owlclub.org



Don't even get me started.

**********************************************************

Friday, 5 December 2008

Paranormal Investigations Part II


My plans for this weekend have been SCUPPERED...
You MAY remember I have been in touch with some Ghost Hunters in the area as I DEFO believe there is SOMETHING out there.
Well, JUST when I thought my weekend was going to be boring AS, I received an email from a RIVAL organisation which had some BRILLIANT untapped honey leads within it...


Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 10:10:38 +0000
From: heathercollins@********.com
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Dear All

I have left 'Ghost ******' along with all the members. We had to part with Bob as he was becoming bad for the team and acting very oddly in the end. He was falling out with members as well as me. He started taking knifes to outdoor events which none of us agreed with. His paranoia was getting out of control. We had a meeting and he gave us no choice. He was spoiling investigations and spoiling the group.

We all left and have started up a new group. We are nothing like Bob's group at 'Ghost ******'. We are all in it for findings and NOT fame. We understand that Bob banned you all and he did this at a drop of a hat. This was out of his Paranoia feeling you where spies for T.I.P. files. Hidden realms and Haunted Devon.
His lies between members making them all fall out became apparent when we all spoke to each other without Bob.
(David if you would like to come I can pick you up. I know you never said them things about me and I know this because Bob has said the same things to everyone in the group. He lies all the time and we have him on tape doing so. That's what got us all together in the end ad we could prove it with the tapes).

We would like to invite you to our new group and venues.
We are called Devon & Cornwall Paranormal.

Please have a look at our site and join us by going to contact us. Fill in your details and become a member free.

This weekend we are going out to Llancaiach Fawr Manor in South Wales. We are meeting at ****** Abbey gates at 8 p.m. We will be taken to the Manor when we all have met up. We are doing this as we don't want people getting lost.
please feel free to look up the manor it has lots of history.

I have sent this to all the members and would ask you if you could fill in the contact details on our website www.************.co.uk then i know who would like to be members.
Please can you let me know as quick as possible who is coming as we have limited numbers and would like to have numbers before tonight.

It should be a good night. Don't worry if you can't make it as we have plenty more stuff lined up.


Hope to meet you all soon.
Heather
(medium of the group)

Devon & Cornwall Pararanormal


From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: heathercollins@********.com;
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
;
Subject: RE: Buckfastleigh
Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 11:20:59 +0000


This sounds FANtastic lol!!!!

Bob is SO yesterday's news!!!!!! rofl

Who else is coming????????

Should be a BLAST lmao!!!!!

Don't worry about Bob, Heather... I split up with someone recently too!!!!!! (albeit after one NIGHT !!!! lol)

Any other singles coming to *********??????? Could make things RATHER spicy!!!!!! lol

Let me know; either way!!!!!

A VERY excited Julian!!!!!!


RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk);
heathercollins@********.com; john.&%$£"@(*&^%hamlets.gov.uk; david&*&*hotmail.co.uk; anna.*****@*****.co.uk; jamie.bl*&^%$£@yahoo.co.uk; stevie£@(*&^%$.co.uk;
nonty$$$$$$@blueyonder.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk; julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk

Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 12:09:23 +0000


Count me in as well.

-Although I'm not 'on the market' as it were... I'm only interested in seeking out the paranormal.

I hope this is ok with everyone,

S



Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 2nd Dec 2008 18:40:39
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
CC: Spencer Fairbrother



Hi Guys,

Bob I just worked with. God have you seen him. Yuk!
No he had to go. No one in the group liked him.
We dont have any single women in our group, sorry. All old ones. But if you are interested in the Paranormal it should be a good night.
We dont have anyone young, but I'm hoping more will join as a long of young people are intersted in the Paranomal.

Let me know if you still want to come and hang around in a grave yard with a load of old foggies lol, but I now only have one spot left, so you will have to decide betwwen yourselves, then perhaps the person who misses out this time could join in next time?.


Heather


Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008 14:31:37
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
)


Julian

We have no young girls in the group. Also it can be scary at night as I will ask you to go and do loan vigals in haunted loactions. Are you ok with that?
Also we sit around alot and record with camcorders and voice recorders. So alot of sitting around goes on. No one talks as we may miss the spirits so everyone must be quite.
No mucking about is allowed and no drink as this can be dangerous.
Spirits can be evil or harming so everyone needs wits about them at all times

I dont know why you think we have young women or it will get spicy.??
I think you may of got the wrong idea of this group.

Are you really interested in findng ghosts and seeing them and sitting up to 30 min alone in haunted places.
All of us do it as spirits like certain people
Everyone has to take protection because if a spirit gets in it can hurt you.

Let me know what you think.
Also why you think it has come across to you as a way of meeting girls as it is not.

Please treat this professionally if you come along and be aware we do expect our members to be put somewhere with a camera or recorder alone. If you are getting results then you may be asked to stay longer.

I had one young boy who saw something and never came back again, so it can be scary.

Heather


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008
To: Heather Collins



Collin,

I do NOT plan to muck about, but as a red-blooded, single 33 year old, IF one of the women on the group tries her luck (drunk or otherwise - HER choice and NOTHING to do with me) I would be loathe to refuse her advances unless she is DISGUSTING looking.

I HOPE you understand, but rest assured, I am motivated MAINLY by shooting ghosts, I am NOT using this trip for dating/drinking/socialising etc.

My 'former' friend Spencer has agreed to let me have the last spot (for a nominal fee), so I'll fill in the form later,

Julian


From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd December 2008 12:59:22
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor



Julian

Ghosts are not evil. Why do you think this? You dont need to shoot them down and if you go with that attitude you will and can be harmed by them because you will be seen as a target.
You need to read up about ghosts and spirits before you come on and investigation.

You filled in your form too late and all the places have now been taken. I have a fixed amount I can take due to insurance.
We also have to notify the police on how many will be around that night as we have a police officer as one of our members who keeps us all safe on ourdoor venues.

Go and read about spirits and ghosts as most are not evil and I will arrange for you to come on another venue. I would not put you in danger and if you go thinking like this you will be in danger.

Heather


Date: Tue, 3rd Dec 2008 16:17:07 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk



Spencer,

Can you tell Julian that we are a professional group and he has to act professional at all times.
He seems to think he is going to get a date out of this. It is not a dating site we are all middle aged.
Is he realy interested in the Paranormal??

We do have professional people in the group. Im glad to say we have a policeman, a medic, a nurse, a security guard and all the rest have office jobs.

He has to be quiet and not treat this like a joke.
We also don't talk about our private life on investigations as we are here to work.

Can he do this? I don't think so. We have had a few people who have drunk beforhand and have been asked to leave. The men of the group deal with that.
So no drink or drugs at venues and no mucking about.

Im a bit worried that if he ever came along he will get bored as it is just sitting around recording everything with camcorders and sound recorders.

Can you explain this to him for me.

Thanks


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 4th December 2008 08:02:14
To: Heather Collins



Heather,

I don't like your tone. Julian can have the space.
And FYI we're barely even friends any more after a disastrous band fall out, so I don't know why you're acting like I'm his father/brother/mentor.


A very disappointed Spencer


Date: Thurs, 4th Dec 2008 09:18:01 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk



I was going to ask you over him. You seem to be more interested in the paranormal. Dont worry.
I did not know you where not friends anymore.

Very odd.

As he sent you a copy of the email he sent me I thought you where friends.

No worries. I will offer the place to someone else who wants to come.

Heather


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 4th December 2008 14:13:56
To: Heather Collins



H,

I have just seen Julian in town. He seemed very agitated about your next expedition. I assured Julian that you would give my guaranteed place to him. After your conduct below, I think it is the least you can do for me in the circumstances. Please confirm by 4pm that Julian has been allocated my place as Julian will need to go out and buy holy water, knives etc.

Spencer.



Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:19:14
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)



Spencer has just emailed me and told me you two are not friends. He seems very upset with you. So I have offered the place to someone else as we only had one left and i did not want to choose between you.

Heather


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:38:57
To: Heather Collins



LIES.

I just bumped into Spencer in Halfords and he told me that you had one space left, but that you PREFERRED it if HE came.
HOW do you explain that one?

I am coming on this trip; EITHER WAY (I will bring my OWN tent).
When do we leave and from where?

Julian


----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: anna.******@******.co.uk
Sent: 4 December 2008 13:50 PM
Subject: RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal



Hi Anna!!!

I was wondering if you are going on the next outing? I am DEAD keen but a little nervous. If you are going, do you want to meet up before for a (non-alcoholic) drink or two?! Would really help!!

Are you single?

Please let me know; either way.

Julian


*********************************
Subject: WTF!‏
From: Chilled Tony (chilled.tony@btinternet.com)
Sent: 16 September 2008 00:18:40
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk



Hi Julian,

This is Anthony, Anna's boyfriend. Yes.... the woman you asked to meet you for a drink. Thought I would drop you a line to let you know that trying to use a paranormal site as a dating agency is a fucking sad idea, and before you try this again, I would firmly recommend you forget it and return to your well used collection of skin mags. This would be far less likely to get you a smack in the mouth. If I do hear that you have contacted her again, I WILL find out who you are and where you live!!!

Be warned and make sure this is the last time I have to contact you!!!


RE: WTF!‏
From: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4 December 2008
To: Chilled Tony (chilled.tony@btinternet.com)



"Chilled" Tony? Could have fucking fooled me! LOL!!!!!!

It's people like you who give the paranormal scene a bad name... do you seriously think I was asking Anna out on a date?!! Jeeeezzzz, don't be a total Malcolm!! ROFL. I have a good mind to tell Heather about this. Don't worry, I'm not going to let your immature jealousy get in the way of me and my passion (or me and a SOCIABLE drink with fellow believers). I am pretty sure that Anna can speak for herself anyway.

IF you are trying to meet me as a couple, I am NOT into that sort of shit OK?

Your threats don't scare me one bit (like you were serious anyway ROFL!!!!). Hey dude, worry not, I am not threatening your relationship. She's probably too old for me anyway!!*

BTW, what on earth is a skin mag? Is this a paranormal mag? I haven't heard of that one but would be keen to find out more. Please let me know; either way.

Cheers mate

JM

(*I'm 33. Please confirm).



Subject: It goes like this...you are a dick‏
From: anna.*****@*****.co.uk
Sent: 4 December 2008 17:41:44
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)



Julian

It would be interesting if you did tell Heather about your email from Tony as she says in her emails to all members to ignore you because you are an 'idiot' and to also block you.
So before I do just that I will say this...you are a dick.
But I agree with you about one thing...you weren't threatening our relationship because...you are a dick.
I am not 'too old' just too wise for you because...you are a dick. It would be very interesting if you did actually tell Heather about Tony's 'threatening' email as she thinks...you are a dick.
I actually like dicks but only one and certainly not yours as yours must be way too small because you are so full of flatulence to make up for the fact that small though it is...you are a dick.

Anna

P.S A skin mag is porn but you wouldn't know that because you don't like to wear out your finger and thumb. Such a shame.

P.P.S Forgot to say, silly me...you are a dick


Subject: Police‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4 December 2008
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk



I have given all the info you have sent me and my members along with your address to the local police as this is harassment. I am asking you to stop conacting my members as all have been told to save all the emails as the police will be collecting them. You really need some help dont you.
The police have also been told you may turn up on sat and if you do you will be arrested as I have given them a photo of you, your personal details as I found them all on the web. You do have alot of friends dont you. Some are very quick to give me the info about you i need to give to the police. seems your not like much and do this sort of thing all the time. Do you really want to be in court for Harassment. because I have told the police to go for it.

If you keep contacting my members it wont only be one person doing you for harassment it will be all the people you keep contacting. We will have a policman and a doorman with us on sat night as well as the local police being aware of what you have done and are doing so I think if you want to stay out of prision you will just go away.
Get some help this is not normal behaviour.


RE: Police‏
From: julianmeteor2 (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 4 December 2008 22:16:00
To: Heather Collins



WhatEVER.
I am NOT coming to your CHILDISH sleepover as I have a DATE this weekend with a HONEY I contacted through your UNSOLICITED email.
Yes, that's right, I have found LOVE.
YOU are just JEALOUS.

Lol.

Julian

PS The group thinks that Bob was FAR more organised and well-mannered than you. Looks like it will ONLY be YOU and that prat Spencer this weekend ROFL!!!!!


*********************************************

Thursday, 4 December 2008

The end for the Argyle Style?


Just back from an early stint at the gym. I wasn't really in the mood so me and Joy just watched a DVD.
I have a band update for you all:
The Argyle Style had band practice last night.
EVERYONE was there. Jally STILL can't speak English, Penny is STILL a cow and Spencer, well Spencer and I are at LOGGERHEADS.
The conversation went like this:

Spencer: Stay with the rhythm, Meteor (he ALWAYS uses JUST my surname when his is cross)
Me: Watch me spin my drumsticks!!! lol. DEFO moving up in chick status!!!
Spencer: (Shouting) STOP SPINNING YOUR DRUMSTICKS AND TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
Me: (Puts drumstick down my trackies to make everyone think I've got MASSIVE erection) *Even though 'you had to be there' I'm SURE you can picture it and laugh lol
Spencer: I'M WARNING YOU
Penny: (tuts)
Jally: I am aff to confess, zis is defanatly ze funniest sing i have see since the 'ole time I am in England.
Me: Why are we practising anyway? We have never had and probably never WILL get a gig...

And then we went to the pub and BARELY spoke to each other.

My ONLY regret is that our LEGENDARY metal cover of Life is a Rollercoaster by Ronan (LEDGE) Keating may NEVER see the light of day...

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

The Gym!!!


Ladies and Gentlemen, if you think I am UNSTOPPABLE now, I am ABOUT to become the ULTIMATE babe machine!!!!!!!!!
That's right, I have joined the gym!!!!!!
Nan wants me out of the house every day so has paid for me to have a personal trainer. She is a young phillie who works there called "Joy".
Fit AS, but a BIT of a cow.
First thing she did was make me take off my sunglasses, so it was VERY hard to have a Jacques Villeneuve (Rhyming slang: perv lol).
We did some press-ups and some lunges and stuff and now I am A.C.H.I.N.G. lol

I did NOT realise gyms were such a HAVEN for babes. I ALWAYS thought they were places where fatties go and sit in the jacuzzi to chat in the HOPE it will transform them into Pamela Anderson.
How WRONG I was!!!!! lol

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

No Band no Job no Money.


Battle of the Bands has been CANCELLED.
The Argyle Style are NO MORE.
I do NOT have a job.

Can it get ANY worse?
I got SO drunk last night to commiserate myself that I managed to convince myself that the Battle of the Bands HAD gone ahead and that we had NARROWLY missed out on the MUCH needed money.
By the looks of my inbox, it would APPEAR I sent an email relating to this MAD thoughts I was having late last night too.
Oops lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: Battle of the Bands
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 23:53:02 +0000



One Way Road? Middle of the Road more like.

Call us bad losers, but you NO WAY deserved to win that comp. It's ALL about the order you go on stage. Always has been and always will be in a Battle of the Bands. Apart from us it was a Battle of the Blands.

You will NEVER get signed.

Rock in hell.

Julian


From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 23:59:38 +0000



thx for the kind words who eva u is. We r split neways u shud ckeck my new band www.myspace.com/flyawayvenus much luv xx


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:05:43 +0000



Listened to your new stuff.

Crud.


From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:10:18 +0000



shame. oh well i enjoy wat i play nd thats the main thing. maybe when u grow up abit you will understand that thats the most important thing ;)


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 00:21:55 +0000



You are SO deluded.

You say playing music is more important than making GOOD music, and YET you are single.

How are you going to get married and have babies if you INSIST on this approach?

Let me know; either way,

J

PS Listened again to your stuff. To be fair the tracks get progressively better. For example the last track is terrible.


RE: Battle of the Bands‏
From: onewayroad@*******.co.uk
Date: Tues, 2 Dec 2008 11:28:24
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)



Man, im not even gonna pretend i understand the link between music and being single but there u go. Anyway im bored of this pointless argument. u dont like our music fair enough ur entitled 2 your opinion. so maybe its time for u 2 move on with your life ;)

****************************************************************

Monday, 1 December 2008

My MOST effective chat-up lines


Seeing as YET AGAIN I took a girl home on Saturday night (although we did NOT do it - not my fault) I thought I would share a table of ORIGINAL chat-up lines I have used this year so any BUDDING Julian Meteors (P.L.A.Y.E.R.S) out there can simply copy me (as LONG as they don't operate in MY territory lol - DEVON)
In order of effectiveness:

5. "What's yer name and where do you coom from???!!!!" lol (In a CLASSIC Cilla Black accent)
Used: 50
Success rate: 10%
4. "I love you like a sister... LET'S MAKE SPASTIC BABIES!!!!!!!!" lmao
Used: 2
Success Rate: 50% (I think the ONE failure I had misheard and just thought I called her a spastic)
3. "Do you like owls?"
Used: Hard to say. I ask EVERYONE.
Success: I have taken EVERY honey home who shares my hatred of them.
1= "What's your name, Sheila?" (in Australian accent)
Used: once (on a kiwi, oops lol)
Success: 100%
1= "Can I have your MSN addy for some cyber, or shall I just take you home for the REAL thing? Ell oh Ell!!!!"
Used 5
Success: 5 (understandable - GREAT line; VERY original)

Sunday, 30 November 2008

There's a Monster in my Bed!!!!! lol


I don't know WHAT to do.
I went out last night (on my own), and had NO luck in any of the bars, so went to my usual - Zeroes - at about 2.30 AM. I SWEAR that place is getting more straight by the week. EITHER that or the Meteor charm is straightening up the SUPPOSED gays!!!!! rofl
In any case, I took home this DISGUSTING pig, via the chippy (her choice).
She ate SO much that she is STILL sleeping it off. We didn't even DO it (third base only).
I'm tempted to roll her up in my duvet and roll her out of the window.
But she'd probably bounce back IN.

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Paranormal Investigations


My dreams have been getting weirder and WEIRDER. I do NOT know if it's anything to do with it, but I have heard that you are MORE likely to have bad dreams if you sleep for LONGER. Well, it is NOT my fault that I have been sleeping in. What do you want me to do? Get up as IF I am going to work, then stay at home? Waste of energy if you ask me, and I am PRETTY certain Branson (LEDGE) would agree with me if HE had been as unlucky as I have been.
I do NOT want to go into a WHOLE description of the LAST few dreams since I GAVE you a taster last time, but JUST so you understand, I will summarise the RECURRING themes:
Owl mask
Grampa
Background laughter
Twit twoo
Black & white
Flourescent stars (but I THINK these may be the ones stuck to the ceiling in my bedroom)

I did NOT want to share this, but I have been looking into the paranormal and discussing the after-life on forums etc... and I EVEN came close to joining a Ghost hunting group.
All things happen for a reason, though, and I didn't end up joining. I think with Paranormal Investigators you HAVE to click otherwise it JUST doesn't work.
Bob Newell and I JUST failed to see eye to eye...

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 23 November 2008 14:14
To: parasearch@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Paranormal Investigations


Dear Para,

I am VERY interested on joining you on one of your field trips. WHEN is the next one and can I join in???? I MAY also have two friends interested in this as well.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell (parasearch@yahoo.co.uk)
Sent: 24 November 2008 12:33:44
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)



Hi Julian

Thank you for your interest in our team. Our next trip is this Saturday to a place called S***** Tunnel near S&^&^ Prior and you and your friend are welcome to join us as long as you are all over the age of 18. Can I ask you where you heard about us and also if you have any experience in doing investigations? Experience is not necessary of course as everyone has to start somewhere.

Bob Newell


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 24 November 2008 14:56
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations



Hi Bobby!!

I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOLI have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we MAY be able to enlist his help.

Julian


RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell
Sent: 24 November 2008 16:07:09
To: 'Julian Meteor'



I’m sorry Julian but I do not feel your attitude in wanting to know if there are any ‘honeys’ in the group makes you compatible with what we do.

Best wishes

Bob

*********************************
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations
Date: 25 November 2008 12:15:33 +0000



Hi Spence,

See below *duplication removed*
MASSIVE shame, I'm busy this weekend (seeing Justine FINALLY for our first date*)
Do you fancy going? Then MAYBE I could join you next time if they're not too wierd.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


*I will NOT finger her


From: Spencer Fairbrother [mailto:spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk]
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:19
To: parasearchers@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations



Hi Bob,

I understand from the email below *duplication removed* that my friend has been in touch with you.
We have been discussing getting involved with the Paranormal World for a long time, so it's very convenient that you're in our area!
Sadly, it looks like Julian won't be able to make it, but is there room for little old me? If so, I would need to know exact times and what to bring etc
I don't have any experience, but I believe 100% that ghosts might exist in Devon.

Regards,

Spencer


From: Bob Newell
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:42:43
To: 'Spencer Fairbrother' (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏‏



Hi Spencer

Unfortunately your friend Julian seemed to be treating it all as a joke and although we have a lot of laughs when we investigate areas we are serious about what we do. I do not know if you are aware of what Julian wrote but I found it offensive even though he might not have meant it to be.
This is his email to me

‘I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOL have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL)
so we MAY be able to enlist his help.’

We welcome anyone to join us but if people ask questions such as ‘actually, just tell me if there are any honeys’ and say things like ‘but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we may be able to enlist his help’ then I don’t think you can blame me for being cautious and not wanting to have dealings with him.

There are other groups in the area you can join such as Haunted Devon and Paranormal Devon Uncovered and I suggest you give them a try.

Best regards

Bob


From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 25 November 2008 19:16:24
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏



Bob,

It disappoints me that you tar me with the same brush as Julian (it's as if we were the same person the way you are treating me).
I don't know Julian all that well; we play in a band together, but it's early days.
Please treat my enquiry with the independence I deserve.

Now then, when, where and do you pay expenses?

I look forward to a non-discriminatory reply,

Spencer


From: Bob Newell
Sent: 26 November 2008 22:09:03
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: Re: Paranormal Investigations



Hi Spencer

I’m sorry that you feel my email was discriminatory. I have to make decisions for the good of the group and in this instance I have decided that your friend's email spoke for you all. Perhaps you should have a word with him about the way he introduces himself to complete strangers while tagging you on as his friend.

I am sorry that his actions have counted against you but I receive so many emails from timewasters that occasionally genuine people like you suffer unfortunately.
Like I said, there are other groups out there like Haunted Devon (www.haunted-devon.co.uk) which is very well run by an old colleague of mine and they travel far and wide to famous haunted places. Whereas we have a limited membership they are open to all and they should be able to fulfil all your requirements for investigating the paranormal.

Regards

Bob

DID YOU KNOW? 3 INTERESTING facts


A duck's quack does NOT echo
The only animals that aren't banned from the grounds of the Houses of Parliament are dogs and horses.
There are NO owls in Wales

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

"In a hole! With an owl!"


"In a hole! With an owl!"
Originally uploaded by bitrot
Seeing as I do nOT have a job, we are YET to have band practice, Nan is away and I have NOT been out for a few days, I shouldn't really have anything to write about.
LUCKILY I had the most BIZARRE dream last night, so I will tell you about it...
I dreamt that I woke UP, got dressed, put a suit on (I do NOT even own a suit), pashed Nan goodbye (we don't even do CHEEK kissing since she's grown THAT beard, so this was ALREADY getting weird) then walked up this MASSIVE staircase and into a board room a BIT like the one they have in The Apprentice with Sralan.
THEN, my interviwer walked in wearing an OWL mask and started slicing my up with a LIGHT saber.
Then my alarm clock went off.
This ANNOYED me at first as there is NO reason for me to need to get up at the moment, but on reflection is was a HUGE relief.
I HATE Owls.
And lightsabers.

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

When Harry met Spencer


Best weekend EVER lol.
For the first time in AGES I did NOT pull. I have TOTALLY turned over a new leaf. I no LONGER need to snare a honey in order to have a good night.
L.M.A.O. - believe that you will believe ANYTHING!!!!!! lmfao
It was a CRUD weekend (for the reasons I just LIED about). I got blown out by EVERYONE - including fatties, one with piercings ALL over her face, who CLAIMED she had a boyfriend (yeah, right), and EVEN this TOTAL lesbian who had NO right to turn me down as she did NOT look like the type to get much action; she had short spikey hair and looked a LOT like a man. In fact, I ONLY tried it on AFTER the lights went on in the club (Candy Store, NOT Zeroes for once!!!!! lol)
The ONLY good thing I did was get VERY good value for money on the News of the World in that I bought a copy from my local convenience store on the way home Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3am and I was SO smashed I didn't remember ANY of it when I re-read it on Sunday - two for the price of one... MASSIVE stroke of money-saving luck!!!!!! pmsl
Now, I BET you are wondering what is going on with the Battle of the Bands.
"They're running out of time" I hear you thinking. Well, do NOT write us off!!!!!! lol
Actually, even I have dipped below 99% certainty that this event will take place.
In fact, since last week, we have made NO progress. NOT my fault, people have been MASSIVELY distracting me.

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:19:49 +0100
Subject: Julian needs help!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


Spencer, your Julian needs some professional help, he's got half of Plymouth
curled up laughing here!

You would not believe the bad picture he's painting for your band..... It's
incredible how you allow it with a £10K prize at stake....?


Dude have a word in his ear....

Harry.

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:51:30 +0000


Thanks for the email, Harry. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
I've been away for a few days in Brighton - absolutely HEAVING there!!!! The gay scene is really open and liberating.

Would you like to meet up for a cocktail and discuss Julian?

Spencer


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:09:15 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk



Lol... No mate... Julian’s not really on my agenda to be honest....

The only reason I emailed is because he’s constantly emailing me with laughably odd comments and notions... I’d rather be nothing to do with it frankly...

Wish you all the best with your band..... Whatever it is you’re all looking for out of music... I’m not sure you’re headed in the right direction.... But hey, each to their own eh, we’ve all got different opinions.

Regards.

Harry.

PS Brighton Gay scene is about as much fun as being hassled for sex by hundreds of blokes because they think good looking guys must be gay ...jeeezzz yuK!


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:01:30 +0000



Don't knock it til you try it Mr Big Winkle!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:13:09 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk



Comments like that fill me with the confidence that you really know what you’re doing x honest ;-)


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:41:30 +0000



How many inches is it????!!!!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:20:21 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk



I think I might publish the whole of your emails from the start on my blog....

It sure is one of the funniest I’ve ever come across....

I mean.. “How many inches is it????!!!!!!”

Are you for real? Are you really positive you want to be asking me that?


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:29:31 +0000



PLEASE don't say anything to anyone.

I had a meeting with Julian to try and convince him to work with me. He mentioned he thought you were gay. I pretended not to register, but it got my mind racing. I couldn't stop thinking about you and me and the correspondence we'd shared. Go on, re-read them and tell me you couldn't cut the sexual tension with a knife...

...and then mail me back a piccy of your sausage x


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:56:42 +0000



Don't leave me hanging, Harry.

Am I barking up the wrong tree?

**********************************************************
Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:38:23 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother



You both clearly have something wrong with your heads..... Spencer quit your passionate homosexual emails to me because I’m straight with a kid etc... And the whole idea of gay makes me cringe....

Julian quit with the ridiculous babble you really are wasting your time now.

Both of you guys... Let’s leave it here... You’re in my junk mail filter now ok... So any emails are on there way there unread and disposed of ethically.

Again... All the best with your ‘making it in the big wide industry’ ... I do hope you manage to afford to sustain a career (in comedy) .... Seriously!

Harry.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:54:28 +0000



LOL!!!!

This can NOT be true.

Spencer, a gaylord? Yeah RIGHT lol

MASSIVE fibber. Shameless. ILLEGAL.


************************************************************
----- Original Message ----
From: Julian Meteor
To: Penelope Miles
Cc: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Sent: Monday, 24 November, 2008 20:11:03 AM
Subject: QUESTION



Hi Penny,

How are you? lol

Remind me, how long have you and Spencer (Fairbrother) been going out together as boyfriend/girlfriend and having full sex etc? I have an IDEAL present I want to give you for your next anniverssary, so I wanted to get the EXACT date.

Let me know,

Julian

________________________________________
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 08:20:41 +0000
From: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: QUESTION
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk



Dear Julian,

Please don't pester me while I'm at work with your bizarre and intrusive ways.

Spencer and I are fine.

Penny

PS Harry, I am sure Julian didn't mean to CC you. Sorry to bother you.


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: QUESTION
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 12:43:11 +0000



There you are: PROOF that Spencer is NOT a gaylord.

Go and email someone else.

Perhaps with an imagination like yours W.G. Rowling could be interested hear your ideas on Harry POTTER'S next adventure...

You thicko.

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:12:03 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother



Oohh Good GOD .... You really are the most uneducated of buffoons aren’t you!

Who in the fuck is W.G Rowling you stupid idiot..... Good god don’t you mean J.K Rowling....???? Do you ever listen to anything but your own drivel?

So I guess again that makes YOU the thicko ... Har har... You’ll never beat the likes of an education sunshine, hands down every time....

You know what... I know you and Spence are gay.... Other people told me.... Nothing to do with you eh...


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:03:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor


Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks


Harry.


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:30:26 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk



YOUR MUM


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:39:41 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk



Ha ha, you're such an idiot

Friday, 21 November 2008

I LOVE X FACTOR


Sorry I have NOT written this week, but Nan had Sky + installed this week, so ALL I have been doing is watching re-runs of last Saturday's AMAZING performance by Leona TOTAL BABE Lewis on X FACTOR!!!!!! lol What a BRILLIANT show, what a 100% H.O.N.E.Y. lol
Nan NEARLY caught me 'watching it' on her sofa TWICE!!!!! rofl
Quick update on OTHER matters:

Job hunt: Given up (for NOW)
Love life: Just the THREE birds this week - only ONE REpeat, the OTHER two were total freshies... young as!!!! lol
Argyle: You MAY remember I threatened to kill myself if we lost AGAIN on Saturday. LUCKILY we didn't. A 1-0 victory was JUST what the doctor ordered.
Battle of the Bands Competition: do NOT ask.
We decided on Wednesday night that the REASON we haven't had any entrants DESPITE the prize-money was because we are YET to organise a venue.
"Get a venue then, Julian, you prat" they said.
I am NOT a prat.
Turns out the problems we are having with this gig are NOT because I hadn't organised a venue.
_______________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: The Hob
Date: Thursday, 20 November 2008 09:55:23 +0000
Attached: Press Release


Hi Colin,


We're organising a Battle of the Bands in Plymouth and Penny's boyfriend, our bandmate, is offering to put up a LARGE financial prize. I can NOT disclose the figure as it is secret, but a press release will go round shortly.

In short, we have a venue lined up, but we need another one to play off it, so we can negotiate better with them. Cheaper drinks, free door staff, all that type of stuff.

So, how much to hire your venue for the night of the 5th December? How many do you hold?
What 'extras' can you offer (eg coffee, back stage nibbles, free local billboard, REAL groupie, billboard ads etc)

Please let me know, BEFORE 3pm.

Julian


----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
Cc: Penelope Miles
Sent: Thursday 20th November 14:23 PM
Subject: RE: The Hob



Any news?

________________________________________
From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 15:19:49 +0100


Hi Julian

Apologies for the delay in replying.

I am afraid the Hub is booked on Friday 5th December.

Kind Regards

Colin

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 20:59:45 +0000



Let me guess... SOMEbody has told you NOT to let us play at your venue.

And I bet that SOMEbody happens to be Harry "I am jealous of Julian's Band and Spencer's money" Link.

Well I hope you are BOTH happy, but do NOT think I didn't guess your pathetic little plan from the MOMENT Colin emailed me back.

TRANSPARENT, that's what you are, Colin. TOOTHLESS and transparent.

Harry has BRAINWASHED you and the Hob is losing money because of it.

I am TOTALLY fed up with the South-West music industry.
Jonathan, you were right - there are MASSIVE problems and the Hob and Harry Link are at the HEAD of them.

Spencer, fuck this competition - it's been ruined.

Sorry to write to you all at once, but the internet caf is clos


Sent: Thursday 20th November 21:15
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Julian, people are actually starting to laugh about your band mate.... I’d wind yer neck in with the comments and take a little look at yerself son.... You’re not all that, are you really.

‘Jealous’, is the funniest comment so far.... Ha ha ha ....


As for your competition... OMG... People are doubled over with pain..... It’s so funny... Your guy Spencer clearly can’t get a gig....

So he’s buying himself one in the form of a competition he plans to fix to win himself....

People are laughing mate.... Really laughing ...

Ohhh well, better wish you good luck with your staged, fixed competition with ONLY entries that YOU want to compete with ....haaaaa hah ah ah ah a....


From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 10:37:30 +0100

I have no idea who Harry Link is!!

get the name of our venue right!!

I did reply you had another venue and my venue is booked as I stated.

see you at the millbridge on the 30th

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:31:15 +0000


Ha - excellent! All the proof I need to confirm my hunch that he is a NO ONE!!! Cheers Colin.

Apologies, Harry TOLD me it was called the Hob. I have now learned it is the Hub. Blame him!

No worries re the venue. Isn't that Esha Ness's night at the Millbridge? I am pretty sure that me and the rest of the band will be down to check out the competition!! Do many birds normally go there? I am on one HELL of a run LOL!!!!!

See you there - you can buy me a beer while we laugh about Harry - WHOEVER HE IS!!!

Cheers

Jules


________________________________________
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:51:03 +0100
Subject: FW: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; chamilton23@btinternet.com


Of course I did Julian, even after a successful couple of gigs down there with my band, I still call the place the Hob, even though Hob actually is what you might call it being a chief and that....

Mate, for the last time, it's call the Hub....


OK?


You might want to read your email to me below....


I’m in pain with laughter... Could this really get any better...... I seriously feel I’m being punked...

Ha haha...


Regards.


PS, Colin, thought you’d like to read this one too (below).


Harry. x


--------Forwarded Message------
From: Julian Meteor
Date: 15th November 2008 15:10:34 +0000
To: Harry Link
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!

Hi Harry,

Long time no speak etc
Have you ever heard of a venue called the Hob? Need to get in touch with them URGENTLY. I'm in a RIGHT pickle here, can you help me out, mate?

J


Sent: Friday 21st November 15:23:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob


Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks


Harry.