There's a Monster in my Bed!!!!! lol

I don't know WHAT to do.
I went out last night (on my own), and had NO luck in any of the bars, so went to my usual - Zeroes - at about 2.30 AM. I SWEAR that place is getting more straight by the week. EITHER that or the Meteor charm is straightening up the SUPPOSED gays!!!!! rofl
In any case, I took home this DISGUSTING pig, via the chippy (her choice).
She ate SO much that she is STILL sleeping it off. We didn't even DO it (third base only).
I'm tempted to roll her up in my duvet and roll her out of the window.
But she'd probably bounce back IN.

Paranormal Investigations

My dreams have been getting weirder and WEIRDER. I do NOT know if it's anything to do with it, but I have heard that you are MORE likely to have bad dreams if you sleep for LONGER. Well, it is NOT my fault that I have been sleeping in. What do you want me to do? Get up as IF I am going to work, then stay at home? Waste of energy if you ask me, and I am PRETTY certain Branson (LEDGE) would agree with me if HE had been as unlucky as I have been.
I do NOT want to go into a WHOLE description of the LAST few dreams since I GAVE you a taster last time, but JUST so you understand, I will summarise the RECURRING themes:
Owl mask
Grampa
Background laughter
Twit twoo
Black & white
Flourescent stars (but I THINK these may be the ones stuck to the ceiling in my bedroom)

I did NOT want to share this, but I have been looking into the paranormal and discussing the after-life on forums etc... and I EVEN came close to joining a Ghost hunting group.
All things happen for a reason, though, and I didn't end up joining. I think with Paranormal Investigators you HAVE to click otherwise it JUST doesn't work.
Bob Newell and I JUST failed to see eye to eye...

________________________________________
From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 23 November 2008 14:14
To: parasearch@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Paranormal Investigations

Dear Para,

I am VERY interested on joining you on one of your field trips. WHEN is the next one and can I join in???? I MAY also have two friends interested in this as well.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell (parasearch@yahoo.co.uk)
Sent: 24 November 2008 12:33:44
To: Julian Meteor (julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk)


Hi Julian

Thank you for your interest in our team. Our next trip is this Saturday to a place called S***** Tunnel near S&^&^ Prior and you and your friend are welcome to join us as long as you are all over the age of 18. Can I ask you where you heard about us and also if you have any experience in doing investigations? Experience is not necessary of course as everyone has to start somewhere.

Bob Newell


From: Julian Meteor [mailto:julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 24 November 2008 14:56
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations


Hi Bobby!!

I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOLI have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we MAY be able to enlist his help.

Julian


RE: Paranormal Investigations‏
From: Bob Newell
Sent: 24 November 2008 16:07:09
To: 'Julian Meteor'


I’m sorry Julian but I do not feel your attitude in wanting to know if there are any ‘honeys’ in the group makes you compatible with what we do.

Best wishes

Bob

*********************************
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations
Date: 25 November 2008 12:15:33 +0000


Hi Spence,

See below *duplication removed*
MASSIVE shame, I'm busy this weekend (seeing Justine FINALLY for our first date*)
Do you fancy going? Then MAYBE I could join you next time if they're not too wierd.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


*I will NOT finger her


From: Spencer Fairbrother [mailto:spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk]
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:19
To: parasearchers@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: FW: Paranormal Investigations


Hi Bob,

I understand from the email below *duplication removed* that my friend has been in touch with you.
We have been discussing getting involved with the Paranormal World for a long time, so it's very convenient that you're in our area!
Sadly, it looks like Julian won't be able to make it, but is there room for little old me? If so, I would need to know exact times and what to bring etc
I don't have any experience, but I believe 100% that ghosts might exist in Devon.

Regards,

Spencer


From: Bob Newell
Sent: 25 November 2008 15:42:43
To: 'Spencer Fairbrother' (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏‏


Hi Spencer

Unfortunately your friend Julian seemed to be treating it all as a joke and although we have a lot of laughs when we investigate areas we are serious about what we do. I do not know if you are aware of what Julian wrote but I found it offensive even though he might not have meant it to be.
This is his email to me

‘I saw you on gumtree.
How many of there are you?
Can you describe the group?
Actually, just tell me if there are any honeys.
I am 33, so NO problems there LOL have NO experience, but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL)
so we MAY be able to enlist his help.’

We welcome anyone to join us but if people ask questions such as ‘actually, just tell me if there are any honeys’ and say things like ‘but my Grampa died recently (RIP ROFL) so we may be able to enlist his help’ then I don’t think you can blame me for being cautious and not wanting to have dealings with him.

There are other groups in the area you can join such as Haunted Devon and Paranormal Devon Uncovered and I suggest you give them a try.

Best regards

Bob


From: Spencer Fairbrother (spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk)
Sent: 25 November 2008 19:16:24
To: Bob Newell
Subject: RE: Paranormal Investigations‏


Bob,

It disappoints me that you tar me with the same brush as Julian (it's as if we were the same person the way you are treating me).
I don't know Julian all that well; we play in a band together, but it's early days.
Please treat my enquiry with the independence I deserve.

Now then, when, where and do you pay expenses?

I look forward to a non-discriminatory reply,

Spencer


From: Bob Newell
Sent: 26 November 2008 22:09:03
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: Re: Paranormal Investigations


Hi Spencer

I’m sorry that you feel my email was discriminatory. I have to make decisions for the good of the group and in this instance I have decided that your friend's email spoke for you all. Perhaps you should have a word with him about the way he introduces himself to complete strangers while tagging you on as his friend.

I am sorry that his actions have counted against you but I receive so many emails from timewasters that occasionally genuine people like you suffer unfortunately.
Like I said, there are other groups out there like Haunted Devon (www.haunted-devon.co.uk) which is very well run by an old colleague of mine and they travel far and wide to famous haunted places. Whereas we have a limited membership they are open to all and they should be able to fulfil all your requirements for investigating the paranormal.

Regards

Bob

DID YOU KNOW? 3 INTERESTING facts

A duck's quack does NOT echo
The only animals that aren't banned from the grounds of the Houses of Parliament are dogs and horses.
There are NO owls in Wales

"In a hole! With an owl!"

"In a hole! With an owl!"
Originally uploaded by bitrot

Seeing as I do nOT have a job, we are YET to have band practice, Nan is away and I have NOT been out for a few days, I shouldn't really have anything to write about.
LUCKILY I had the most BIZARRE dream last night, so I will tell you about it...
I dreamt that I woke UP, got dressed, put a suit on (I do NOT even own a suit), pashed Nan goodbye (we don't even do CHEEK kissing since she's grown THAT beard, so this was ALREADY getting weird) then walked up this MASSIVE staircase and into a board room a BIT like the one they have in The Apprentice with Sralan.
THEN, my interviwer walked in wearing an OWL mask and started slicing my up with a LIGHT saber.
Then my alarm clock went off.
This ANNOYED me at first as there is NO reason for me to need to get up at the moment, but on reflection is was a HUGE relief.
I HATE Owls.
And lightsabers.

When Harry met Spencer

Best weekend EVER lol.
For the first time in AGES I did NOT pull. I have TOTALLY turned over a new leaf. I no LONGER need to snare a honey in order to have a good night.
L.M.A.O. - believe that you will believe ANYTHING!!!!!! lmfao
It was a CRUD weekend (for the reasons I just LIED about). I got blown out by EVERYONE - including fatties, one with piercings ALL over her face, who CLAIMED she had a boyfriend (yeah, right), and EVEN this TOTAL lesbian who had NO right to turn me down as she did NOT look like the type to get much action; she had short spikey hair and looked a LOT like a man. In fact, I ONLY tried it on AFTER the lights went on in the club (Candy Store, NOT Zeroes for once!!!!! lol)
The ONLY good thing I did was get VERY good value for money on the News of the World in that I bought a copy from my local convenience store on the way home Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3am and I was SO smashed I didn't remember ANY of it when I re-read it on Sunday - two for the price of one... MASSIVE stroke of money-saving luck!!!!!! pmsl
Now, I BET you are wondering what is going on with the Battle of the Bands.
"They're running out of time" I hear you thinking. Well, do NOT write us off!!!!!! lol
Actually, even I have dipped below 99% certainty that this event will take place.
In fact, since last week, we have made NO progress. NOT my fault, people have been MASSIVELY distracting me.

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:19:49 +0100
Subject: Julian needs help!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

Spencer, your Julian needs some professional help, he's got half of Plymouth
curled up laughing here!

You would not believe the bad picture he's painting for your band..... It's
incredible how you allow it with a £10K prize at stake....?


Dude have a word in his ear....

Harry.

________________________________________
From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:51:30 +0000

Thanks for the email, Harry. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
I've been away for a few days in Brighton - absolutely HEAVING there!!!! The gay scene is really open and liberating.

Would you like to meet up for a cocktail and discuss Julian?

Spencer


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:09:15 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


Lol... No mate... Julian’s not really on my agenda to be honest....

The only reason I emailed is because he’s constantly emailing me with laughably odd comments and notions... I’d rather be nothing to do with it frankly...

Wish you all the best with your band..... Whatever it is you’re all looking for out of music... I’m not sure you’re headed in the right direction.... But hey, each to their own eh, we’ve all got different opinions.

Regards.

Harry.

PS Brighton Gay scene is about as much fun as being hassled for sex by hundreds of blokes because they think good looking guys must be gay ...jeeezzz yuK!


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:01:30 +0000


Don't knock it til you try it Mr Big Winkle!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:13:09 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


Comments like that fill me with the confidence that you really know what you’re doing x honest ;-)


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help!
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:41:30 +0000


How many inches is it????!!!!!!


Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:20:21 +0100
Subject: Re: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk


I think I might publish the whole of your emails from the start on my blog....

It sure is one of the funniest I’ve ever come across....

I mean.. “How many inches is it????!!!!!!”

Are you for real? Are you really positive you want to be asking me that?


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:29:31 +0000


PLEASE don't say anything to anyone.

I had a meeting with Julian to try and convince him to work with me. He mentioned he thought you were gay. I pretended not to register, but it got my mind racing. I couldn't stop thinking about you and me and the correspondence we'd shared. Go on, re-read them and tell me you couldn't cut the sexual tension with a knife...

...and then mail me back a piccy of your sausage x


From: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: Julian needs help! (but not mine)
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:56:42 +0000


Don't leave me hanging, Harry.

Am I barking up the wrong tree?

**********************************************************
Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:38:23 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother


You both clearly have something wrong with your heads..... Spencer quit your passionate homosexual emails to me because I’m straight with a kid etc... And the whole idea of gay makes me cringe....

Julian quit with the ridiculous babble you really are wasting your time now.

Both of you guys... Let’s leave it here... You’re in my junk mail filter now ok... So any emails are on there way there unread and disposed of ethically.

Again... All the best with your ‘making it in the big wide industry’ ... I do hope you manage to afford to sustain a career (in comedy) .... Seriously!

Harry.

From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:54:28 +0000


LOL!!!!

This can NOT be true.

Spencer, a gaylord? Yeah RIGHT lol

MASSIVE fibber. Shameless. ILLEGAL.


************************************************************
----- Original Message ----
From: Julian Meteor
To: Penelope Miles
Cc: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Sent: Monday, 24 November, 2008 20:11:03 AM
Subject: QUESTION


Hi Penny,

How are you? lol

Remind me, how long have you and Spencer (Fairbrother) been going out together as boyfriend/girlfriend and having full sex etc? I have an IDEAL present I want to give you for your next anniverssary, so I wanted to get the EXACT date.

Let me know,

Julian

________________________________________
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 08:20:41 +0000
From: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: QUESTION
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk


Dear Julian,

Please don't pester me while I'm at work with your bizarre and intrusive ways.

Spencer and I are fine.

Penny

PS Harry, I am sure Julian didn't mean to CC you. Sorry to bother you.


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: QUESTION
Date: Tue, 25 November 2008 12:43:11 +0000


There you are: PROOF that Spencer is NOT a gaylord.

Go and email someone else.

Perhaps with an imagination like yours W.G. Rowling could be interested hear your ideas on Harry POTTER'S next adventure...

You thicko.

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:12:03 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor; Spencer Fairbrother


Oohh Good GOD .... You really are the most uneducated of buffoons aren’t you!

Who in the fuck is W.G Rowling you stupid idiot..... Good god don’t you mean J.K Rowling....???? Do you ever listen to anything but your own drivel?

So I guess again that makes YOU the thicko ... Har har... You’ll never beat the likes of an education sunshine, hands down every time....

You know what... I know you and Spence are gay.... Other people told me.... Nothing to do with you eh...


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:03:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: Julian Meteor

Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks


Harry.


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:30:26 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: Julian Meteor
To: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk


YOUR MUM


Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:39:41 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Ha ha, you're such an idiot

I LOVE X FACTOR

Sorry I have NOT written this week, but Nan had Sky + installed this week, so ALL I have been doing is watching re-runs of last Saturday's AMAZING performance by Leona TOTAL BABE Lewis on X FACTOR!!!!!! lol What a BRILLIANT show, what a 100% H.O.N.E.Y. lol
Nan NEARLY caught me 'watching it' on her sofa TWICE!!!!! rofl
Quick update on OTHER matters:

Job hunt: Given up (for NOW)
Love life: Just the THREE birds this week - only ONE REpeat, the OTHER two were total freshies... young as!!!! lol
Argyle: You MAY remember I threatened to kill myself if we lost AGAIN on Saturday. LUCKILY we didn't. A 1-0 victory was JUST what the doctor ordered.
Battle of the Bands Competition: do NOT ask.
We decided on Wednesday night that the REASON we haven't had any entrants DESPITE the prize-money was because we are YET to organise a venue.
"Get a venue then, Julian, you prat" they said.
I am NOT a prat.
Turns out the problems we are having with this gig are NOT because I hadn't organised a venue.
_______________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: penelope_miles@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: The Hob
Date: Thursday, 20 November 2008 09:55:23 +0000
Attached: Press Release

Hi Colin,


We're organising a Battle of the Bands in Plymouth and Penny's boyfriend, our bandmate, is offering to put up a LARGE financial prize. I can NOT disclose the figure as it is secret, but a press release will go round shortly.

In short, we have a venue lined up, but we need another one to play off it, so we can negotiate better with them. Cheaper drinks, free door staff, all that type of stuff.

So, how much to hire your venue for the night of the 5th December? How many do you hold?
What 'extras' can you offer (eg coffee, back stage nibbles, free local billboard, REAL groupie, billboard ads etc)

Please let me know, BEFORE 3pm.

Julian


----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
Cc: Penelope Miles
Sent: Thursday 20th November 14:23 PM
Subject: RE: The Hob


Any news?

________________________________________
From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 15:19:49 +0100

Hi Julian

Apologies for the delay in replying.

I am afraid the Hub is booked on Friday 5th December.

Kind Regards

Colin

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk; spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Sent: Thursday 20th November 20:59:45 +0000


Let me guess... SOMEbody has told you NOT to let us play at your venue.

And I bet that SOMEbody happens to be Harry "I am jealous of Julian's Band and Spencer's money" Link.

Well I hope you are BOTH happy, but do NOT think I didn't guess your pathetic little plan from the MOMENT Colin emailed me back.

TRANSPARENT, that's what you are, Colin. TOOTHLESS and transparent.

Harry has BRAINWASHED you and the Hob is losing money because of it.

I am TOTALLY fed up with the South-West music industry.
Jonathan, you were right - there are MASSIVE problems and the Hob and Harry Link are at the HEAD of them.

Spencer, fuck this competition - it's been ruined.

Sorry to write to you all at once, but the internet caf is clos


Sent: Thursday 20th November 21:15
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk


Julian, people are actually starting to laugh about your band mate.... I’d wind yer neck in with the comments and take a little look at yerself son.... You’re not all that, are you really.

‘Jealous’, is the funniest comment so far.... Ha ha ha ....


As for your competition... OMG... People are doubled over with pain..... It’s so funny... Your guy Spencer clearly can’t get a gig....

So he’s buying himself one in the form of a competition he plans to fix to win himself....

People are laughing mate.... Really laughing ...

Ohhh well, better wish you good luck with your staged, fixed competition with ONLY entries that YOU want to compete with ....haaaaa hah ah ah ah a....


From: chamilton23@btinternet.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 10:37:30 +0100

I have no idea who Harry Link is!!

get the name of our venue right!!

I did reply you had another venue and my venue is booked as I stated.

see you at the millbridge on the 30th

________________________________________
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: chamilton23@btinternet.com
CC: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:31:15 +0000

Ha - excellent! All the proof I need to confirm my hunch that he is a NO ONE!!! Cheers Colin.

Apologies, Harry TOLD me it was called the Hob. I have now learned it is the Hub. Blame him!

No worries re the venue. Isn't that Esha Ness's night at the Millbridge? I am pretty sure that me and the rest of the band will be down to check out the competition!! Do many birds normally go there? I am on one HELL of a run LOL!!!!!

See you there - you can buy me a beer while we laugh about Harry - WHOEVER HE IS!!!

Cheers

Jules


________________________________________
Date: Fri, 21st November 2008 11:51:03 +0100
Subject: FW: Live Music!!!!!
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; chamilton23@btinternet.com

Of course I did Julian, even after a successful couple of gigs down there with my band, I still call the place the Hob, even though Hob actually is what you might call it being a chief and that....

Mate, for the last time, it's call the Hub....


OK?


You might want to read your email to me below....


I’m in pain with laughter... Could this really get any better...... I seriously feel I’m being punked...

Ha haha...


Regards.


PS, Colin, thought you’d like to read this one too (below).


Harry. x


--------Forwarded Message------
From: Julian Meteor
Date: 15th November 2008 15:10:34 +0000
To: Harry Link
Subject: RE: Live Music!!!!!

Hi Harry,

Long time no speak etc
Have you ever heard of a venue called the Hob? Need to get in touch with them URGENTLY. I'm in a RIGHT pickle here, can you help me out, mate?

J

Sent: Friday 21st November 15:23:35 +0100
Subject: Re: The Hob
From: harrylink@prayersandslayers.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: The Hob

Thank god that finally shut you up eh....

We can all get back to our lives now thanks


Harry.

ABSOLUTELY FUMING

It is NOT often that I'm in a bad mood, but today I AM. We put on a MASSIVE event for the people of Plymouth, offer HUGE prize-money, send out POLITE invitations, and what do we get? NOTHING but shit.
Ok, ok I am a BIT pissed off that NO jobs have come my way this week - is the credit crunch getting worse? It that POSSIBLE? I thought a credit crunch was when unemployment reached its MAXIMUM POSSIBLE capacity.
But what would I know.

Suffice to say ALL I have to look forward to is a road trip (TBA) up to Coventry for Argyle's next game. If we lose THAT, then I MAY smash up my drums.
I have included some of the TYPICAL correspondence I have had concerning this ill-fated Battle of the Bands, JUST so you don't think I am a big MOODY lol (that was NOT a genuine laugh. It's just a habit).


From: Julian Meteor
To: ladependence@hotmail.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk; pjpepper@hotmail.com; poundofmusic@yahoo.com
Subject: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:09:27 +0000


Hi Guys,

I am currently organising a Battle of the Bands in Plymouth to be staged in the coming month.

Winners will receive £10,000 and there will be only four bands playing five tracks each.

My band 'The Argyle Style' will of course be entering, but the judges will be independent.

Interested?

Let me know; either way,

Julian


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 2008 18:01:13 +0000


Hi Julian,

Yes my band is interested, let me know asap for dates so I can book my band’s gigs around it.

Thankyou

Jonathan (Esha Ness)


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 10:10:56 +0000

Jonathan,

The delay in getting back to me HARDLY implies you are interested now does it?
It looks to me like you would turn up, give a half-hearted performance to the crowd I have organised, then expect to pick up an appearance fee.
I've seen it all before.

Let me know; either way,

Julian


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 13:22:17 +0000


Julian,

I have been discussing this matter with the rest of my band and Liam, the guitarist was meant to email you back. We decided there was no point in everybody emailing you.
I have been doing research on the competition and I have found that there is nothing anywhere - I have googled it and everything. I would like you to explain to me how there is no coverage of the competition, if it is indeed for 10 thousand pounds. Sounds a bit odd to me.
Also, we have emailed you and asked for details about the competition and we didn't even get a date for the event in your reply. All I wanted was to find out if this was a genuine offer or not. The whole thing doesn’t seem very professional or organised, does it?

Jonathan


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:36:41 +0000

I sometimes wonder why I bother putting on these fucking events for the people of Plymouth.
Hardly seems worth it when I get 'admin' like this.

I wish you good luck in your next comp. Hopefully the prize money will be enough to buy you a new pair of Doc Martens.

Go and look another gift horse in the mouth,

Julian


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:02:04 +0000


Good luck to you. I’m glad I’m not going to be associated with you after the likes of that. You seem like a moody sod. I play drums, my teacher was taught by Jimmi Marshall founder of Marshall amplifiers. I’ve never heard of you so you can’t be that good anyway. But best of luck to you and your shitty Battle of the Bands. With 4 bands wtf? lol.
Hardly a battle, more like a tea party.
I’ve never seen your band advertised anywhere. So as far as I’m concerned you’re shit! I don’t care about you or your little 'battle'.

Enjoy it. I’ll make sure we put on our website you’re the biggest goon of Plymouth and get some feedback from our fans.

Bye

Jonathan (a member of a real band)


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:29:14 +0000

EMI will never sign you.

I have just made sure of that.

I HATE people like you who think the world owes them a favour.


Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 15:44:21 +0000
From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth


erm excuse me, I would like to know how u have made sure they won’t sign us? What lies have u told? And since when did I say the world owes me a favour, all I have done is look out for the welfare of my band, you are the person who has not made any effort, we ask for information and u can't even give us a date.. no time, no place and not even a date! How is that being co-operative??


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 16:15:47 +0000

5th December.

You in?

Only one place left.


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 12:09:27 +0000

So in a few weeks! Might want to make a plan then lol?, have you got a place at all and do you need any help organising this?


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:16:33 +0000


I can only go by what I am told.

My bandmate Jally (Jacques-Antoine) is sorting it.

Jally, do you need help? This nice guy is offering.

Let me know,

Julian


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 14:49:27 +0000


Alright julian

Any news or anything?

Let me know when you can

Jonathan


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
CC: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 16:09:44 +0000


Any nouvelles, Jally?


Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 17:03:55 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk; esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth


Julian, I make my best, but I have evil at the time because the concert halls not very nice at this time in the region of Devon. Can be Jonathan say the best to me come to contact to make this event?
The life is much easier in France! I find the English sometimes can be most unhelpful and ignorant.

Jonathan, please say it to me if so; or if no,

J-A


Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2008 09:01:36 +0000
From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com; esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: FW: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth

I take it you two are chatting amongst yourselves? I am WAY too busy to be dealing with this stupid competition.


Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2008 09:09:27 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
CC: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth


No. I wait for lazy Ben to contact me.
I can read the mind of this man. He is not interested where his can not make the silver.


From: esha_ness@******.co.uk
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk, ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:16:41 +0000

Hi, Sorry , I got your emails that you guys were sending to each other
I’m afraid me and my band would like nothing to do with this battle of the bands anymore. You have pointlessly insulted me enough. £10,000 or not I’d rather pay than to have nothing to do with you two bitching people. You obviously think you are professionals in this business. I think my band are too good and too nice to have anything to do with it.

Good luck with it

Jonathan


Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:20:31 +0000
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: esha_ness@******.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth


I think you make the excuse because you miss the deathline for entry.

Please tell me if it is so; or if no


From: Jonathan Samuelle
Date: Tues, 12 Nov 2008 11:39:47 +0000
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands - Plymouth
To: Jacques-Antoine LeCullotte


No for the last, time i cant understand a fucking word you say in your emails

You two either just lie your way around, or have no fucking clue what you are doing with any of this. The fucking leaders or pixie land day circus can do a better job than anything you can achieve!

"I think you make the excuse because you miss the deathline for entry"

What the fuck does that mean? I am very pissed off at the fact you guys keep emailing me, I want FUCK ALL!!!! to do with you pair of unorganised twats.
Yes my guess is that no-one wants to help because you guys are shit at making friends. One of you can’t even fucking write English!

In fact you two are sooooooooooooo shit that you actually emailed what you were supposed to be emailing to each other, to me! My god if you’re that shit on a computer these days you must be wank at everything haha. So yes, for the last time go fuck yourselves, I don’t want another email from you tossers again. I am a rocker, I play rock. I’m not some pansy liar that thinks that how you approach someone is via emails. It’s wankers like you, yes you Julian, that make the Southwest music industry suck, because you’re shit at organisation and obviously shit at your instrument.

Good bye knob cheeses

********************************************************************

Competition struggles to find entrants

"EVERY no is CLOSER to a yes" they always tell us. This is what I KEEP telling myself. I ALWAYS try to stay positive.
Another one is: "Attitude is contagious, is YOURS worth catching?" - Justin Langer (Australian Cricketer)
This is ALL well and good, but when you have been applying for jobs for MONTHS and can't EVEN get an interview, I STRUGGLE to stay positive.
Saying that, I was the ONLY one in the crowd at Home Park on Saturday who STILL believed the MIGHTY Argyle would equalise when we did in the last minute Vs Charlton on Saturday!!!! lol
ANOTHER piece of positive news aside from Plymouth Argyle and their 'never say die' attitude (I'm on a ROLL here lol) is that Spencer has made a a website!!!!!!
www.julianmeteor.com
THAT, my friends, means that I am OFFICIALLY successful. He has NOT asked me for any money for it yet, so I HOPE he forgets!!!! pmsl

Elsewhere my WHOLE week is being taken up by this Battle of the Bands idea.
On paper a VERY good idea; in REALITY, shithouse.
NOone wants in. Too scared, I reckon.
I have added some more to my blog entry of last week where we ALMOST got down to negotiation stage with Cupid Green (but didn't) and here is ANOTHER example (sent to a LOCAL band whose name I have HAD to change as I do NOT want to give them OR their new spin-off ANY free publicity) of SNOTTY-nosed South-West bands turning their NOSES up for NO REASON at our BRILLIANT and GENEROUS idea:

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:17:03 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com;
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

To Bear From Hell,

I am make to contact you from the recommendation.

My band with friend organisateur Spencer Fairbrother make the competition battle to the bands in Decembre.

Can you make entry not pay but possible if win big can be not work again for some month?

Please take the attach, eat it, then take some time with the decide. Not later before Wednesday. I urgent you.

Tell me if it is a so; or if it is a no,

J-A


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:57:03 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


We are no longer a band.
Check out our new band 'Mercury Shocker' at www.myspace.com/mercuryshocker

Will


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:00:01 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


Ok.

You sound exact the same so I can not know why you are change the name.

Mercury Shocker must play the Battle of the Bands?

There is the BIG money to win.

Tell me if it is so; or if it is no,

J-A


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:13:22 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


Need to know more details first :)
When?
Where?
What other bands are playing?
Set length?

thanks

Will


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:23:04 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

5 Decembre
Plymouth
Secret
Everyone else play 5 song. You must play two because crowd very possible hate your music.

I send the form of entry for you?

Tell me if it is so; or if it is no,

J-A


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:44:11 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

haha thanks!
whereabouts in plymouth?
yeah send the form

Will


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:39:34 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

I was not make the joke.

Please fill attachment send back before the end of time.

J-A


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:55:04 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


Yes, and I wasn't genuinely laughing.
Where in Plymouth is it?


Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:48:09 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition

Not more question. You are nerving me. It is unprofessional.

Make the form filled, if not I cancel you participation.

You wonker.

Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:01:11 +0100
From: bear.from.hell@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition

Fuck off.


******************************************************************

Battle of the Bands

FINALLY some good news. No, NOT the election of Barack Obama (although Nan is VERY happy about this - she went out with a black man in the 60s; she's SO not over him). No, the good news I was REFERRING to is that DESPITE the credit crunch Spencer has AGREED to stump up the cash as prize money for the Battle of the Bands we are organising.
Hopefully THIS will be a chance to SHOWCASE the talents of the Argyle Style!!! lol
Jally is in charge of SELECTING which bands can enter, but understandably he's had some SKEPTICAL responses - I DOUBT with his drive and dtermination this will be a MAJOR problem long-term.
I asked Jally to send me the email correspondence to check on his progress...

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 10:18:43 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition
CC: spencerfairbrother@live.co.uk

To Elliot,

I am make to contact you from the recommendation.

My band with friend organisateur Spencer Fairbrother make the competition battle to the bands in Decembre.

Can you make entry not pay but possible if win big can be not work again for some month?

Please take the attach, eat it, then take some time with the decide. Not later before Thursday. I urgent you.

Tell me if it is so; or if it is a no,

J-A


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 11:53:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


Hi

Thanks for your email, what date did you want us to play?, i need to check with the other guys, if you want you can call me on 07*********

Thanks


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 10:57:06 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


I make not the telephone. My English are perfect on the email, but very bad during the telephone!


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 11:18:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


Ok what date in December did you want us to play?


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 12:23:43 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


I make not promise that you play.

Only promise that you possible play. Do not make the assume.

In France we say "Man who make assume, be the foolish man. The foolish man fall often down the ravine".

5 of Decembre.


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 13:26:43 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


We are 130 miles/ 203Km away from from Plymouth, so we can't come if we are not definitely playing, it will take 3.5 hours to drive there, so as long as we are playing, it will be fine. Why can you not say whether we are definitely playing or not?

Also I cannot read the attachment, where is the gig?


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:01:26 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


I am lose 100% the patience with this now.
I am make the impression that Cupid Green is the poor recommend.

Make the note - Cupid Green to make hire the Band Manager before the band is lose too much gigs.


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:44:18 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


I suggest you brush up on your English as it is very hard to understand what you are saying, you have given no venue details and a scanned image you can't read. It doesn't seem like a very reputable gig, as you have given no details of it and want me to agree that the band will come with the chance of not playing.

P.S. I am the Manager.


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 14:52:59 +0100
From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Plymouth Bands Competition


Fuck to YOU


Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2008 15:05:38 +0100
From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Subject: Plymouth Bands Competition


GOOD ENGLISH YOU FRENCH FUCKER!!!!

****************** CONTINUES*************************************


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:41:02 +0000


Hi Tommy,

My co-organiser passed me on your info.

You'll be glad to know you have been shortlisted for the gig!

Please take five minutes to fill in the excel sheet so we can get to work on the event program.

Any questions feel FREE to ask,

P-Sout,

Julian


From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:01:13 +0000


Sorry, due to the rude and unprofessional manor of your colleague, Cupid Green will not be entering the competition.

Many Thanks


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:11:49 +0000


Hmm, you are NOT the first to mention this.

He IS French. Were you aware of this? I think sometimes because his English is so good, people don't allow for losses in translation, they just assume he is like us.
Are you SURE you have not just misinterpreted?

Let me know; either way,

Julian


From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:16:49 +0000


Where did you hear about Cupid Green, where will the competition take place?


From: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
To: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:42:13 +0000


You'll have to ask Jacques-Antoine (cc'd) - he is our official researcher.

We have two venues lined up. Kind of playing them off each other. BOTH are in Plymouth and this SHOULD be confirmed by the weekend.

So, you're interested?

Let me know; either way asap (as soon as possible)

Julian


From: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:01:49 +0000


I make the find Cupid Green using internet.

I make the google:

Search: Bands who make the sound like many cars using their klaxon during the traffic jam.

This band is first answer!!!!!!

I make myself death with laughter!


From: cupidgreen@hotmail.com
To: julianmeteor2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Battle of the Bands 5th December
CC: ja.lecullotte@googlemail.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:16:03 +0000



Thanks for the offer, but no thanks, have a good competition, hope it all goes as you want it to .

Many Thanks

*******************************************************************

VOTE FOR CHARLOTTE THOMSON!!!!

HI Friends,
As some of you MAY know I have developed a BIT of a soft spot for a certain (ACTUAL) honey. An FHM HIGH STREET HONEY.
Her name is Charlotte Thomson and she is a B.A.B.E. lmao
I am BEGGING you all to vote for her by texting to vote
To do this, you can text FHM 62 to 86145
You can ALSO vote online here.

It would be a great help to ME too as I have been getting on with her RATHER well on facebook... using the FAMOUS Meteor charm lol.
SADLY her boyfriend found out and went MENTAL. DEFO fells threatened by me. Who WOULDN'T be??? pmsl


Jack ******* to Julian Meteor 1st November at 9:07am
Why dont you fuck off you wanker!!!! shes my girlfriend leave me alone!!! and do me a favour...........get a life!!!! i pity you, i really do!!!! go and have another wank......xxx

Julian Meteor wrote to Jack ******* at 9:59am on 1st November
LOL! Who stole the jam from YOUR doughnut? You are obviously feeling a little threatened by the Meteor! Good luck Char- i do think she'll win by the way x


Jack ******* wrote to Julian Meteor on 1st November at 10:49am
Do you know what it takes to go out with someone like charlotte!!!

let me tell you,

firstly luck because i am greatful for everyday we are together. she is the most beautiful person on the out side and the inside i have ever met.

i am myself and dont hide behind 'facebook' to try and come on to girls. maybe if you acted mature and yourself you might lose your virginity???

maturity??? im not gunna try and explain that to you.

a sense of humor (which i have but when you get dick heads like you writing fucking stupid silly little comments every fucking day it gets to me)
charlotte is trying her hardest to build her career and she wants loads of support not pricks like you giving her hassles!!!! after all this is her job!!!

looks.............(because after all you dont wanna lie in bed with someone your not attracted to) let me tell you for someone who dosnt even put a pic up of themselves you dont really fit the bill.

goodbye....best of luck.

p.s. fuck off!!!

Jack


Julian Meteor to Jack ******* 1st November at 2:53pm
You need to get in the gym fat boy. There is NO way you'll keep hold of the porn star when she makes it big time. She'll get an Argyle player before you know it! Or me.


Jack ******* to Julian Meteor 1st November at 3:08pm
How dare you call her a porn star you you fucking sad little nerd go sit behind your computer wank all over girls you will never get i excersise everyday and look after myself im not the one whos a fat spotty nerd with no life no girl friend and my virgintiy still intact...............oh and did i miss out unemployed????? hahaha your sad. if i see you carrying a big issue anytime soon im not gunna be suprised hahahahaha fatboy you make me laugh. mate, dont forget char is here with me so reads every email you send. p.s. fuck you!!! xxxx

Julian Meteor to Charlotte Thomson 1st November at 3:21pm
What is HIS problem! I wish he'd stop going on about his muscles. I BET i can bench much more anyway. Fancy a drink sometime? X


Charlotte Thomson to Julian Meteor 1st November at 3:49pm
He is my boyfriend and i think you need to leave us both alone now. No i dont fancy a drink, frankly you have been rude and i really dont appreciate some of your comments.