Thursday, 18 December 2008

London > Plymouth


Things move FAST in London. I looked at a studio flat in Kilburn (FAR more central than my previous NIGHTMARE in Milton Keynes) and decided to move in STRAIGHT away.
Moving my stuff did NOT take long.
My observations on London so far:
1. You are NOT allowed to talk on public transport. I HAD been warned about this, but it was PISSING down outside, so when we got on the bus I just turned to the person next to me (old chap, LOTS of tattoos) and said "nice day outside lol"!!!
Not EVEN a smile from him. IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!! Lighten UP!!!!
2. There are NO trees. Therefore NO, you know...! lol. NO BIRDS! Of ANY type.!!!!! BEST NEWS EVER!!
3. You canNOT swim in the Thames. EVEN in a wetsuit.
4. No-one talks to you, APART from policemen (when you are caught trying to do a couple of widths of the Thames to stay fit)
5. Getting a job here is going to be a CINCH!!!! lmao
I got up EXTRA early this morning to study the COMMON traits of the working people of London. Do they walk differently? Do they ALL read funny-coloured newspapers? Do I HAVE to own a suit if I am going to find work?
What did I find? I found that every other worker is a WOMAN!!!!!! lol
Even HONEYS can get jobs!!! If THEY can, I DEFO can rofl

Moving to London was the BEST thing I've done. EVER.

4 comments:

TwitTwooo said...

Brondesbury Villas has loads of trees!! I am currently living in the third one down on the right outside, gives me a rather nice view into the window of No. 23

Zed said...

Sexist git. I am WOMAN. I am a HONEY. I am EMPLOYED.

Though not in London.

Good luck, JM.

Toni said...

The streets are paved with gold down here, (although not in Kilburn - there it is more likely drunken Irish people you will be stepping on.). It is every Londoners right to travel on public transport without being forced to entertain the yokels with our amusing banter, we are not all Pearly Kings you know! Women are allowed to have jobs here and not just as secretaries or strippers. They are always complaining about the glass ceiling but lets be honest, if they weren't complaining about that it would be something else. The lack of birds in London may be related to the large number of kebab shops but I would avoid Trafalger Square if I were you.

Hogday said...

The Irish are STILL in Kilburn? Next you'll be telling us that they still pass the bucket round for `the cause` at The Crown (Cricklewood). What about the Galtymore Club on Kilburn Road? Always worth a laugh if you wanted to see a real fighting paddy dressed up in his best tweed jacket and boots out to impress the gorls. Deep joy.