Friday, 5 December 2008

Paranormal Investigations Part II

My plans for this weekend have been SCUPPERED...
You MAY remember I have been in touch with some Ghost Hunters in the area as I DEFO believe there is SOMETHING out there.
Well, JUST when I thought my weekend was going to be boring AS, I received an email from a RIVAL organisation which had some BRILLIANT untapped honey leads within it...

Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 10:10:38 +0000
From: heathercollins@********.com
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^; david&*&*; anna.*****@*****;*&^%$£; stevie£@(*&^%$;

Dear All

I have left 'Ghost ******' along with all the members. We had to part with Bob as he was becoming bad for the team and acting very oddly in the end. He was falling out with members as well as me. He started taking knifes to outdoor events which none of us agreed with. His paranoia was getting out of control. We had a meeting and he gave us no choice. He was spoiling investigations and spoiling the group.

We all left and have started up a new group. We are nothing like Bob's group at 'Ghost ******'. We are all in it for findings and NOT fame. We understand that Bob banned you all and he did this at a drop of a hat. This was out of his Paranoia feeling you where spies for T.I.P. files. Hidden realms and Haunted Devon.
His lies between members making them all fall out became apparent when we all spoke to each other without Bob.
(David if you would like to come I can pick you up. I know you never said them things about me and I know this because Bob has said the same things to everyone in the group. He lies all the time and we have him on tape doing so. That's what got us all together in the end ad we could prove it with the tapes).

We would like to invite you to our new group and venues.
We are called Devon & Cornwall Paranormal.

Please have a look at our site and join us by going to contact us. Fill in your details and become a member free.

This weekend we are going out to Llancaiach Fawr Manor in South Wales. We are meeting at ****** Abbey gates at 8 p.m. We will be taken to the Manor when we all have met up. We are doing this as we don't want people getting lost.
please feel free to look up the manor it has lots of history.

I have sent this to all the members and would ask you if you could fill in the contact details on our website www.************ then i know who would like to be members.
Please can you let me know as quick as possible who is coming as we have limited numbers and would like to have numbers before tonight.

It should be a good night. Don't worry if you can't make it as we have plenty more stuff lined up.

Hope to meet you all soon.
(medium of the group)

Devon & Cornwall Pararanormal

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: heathercollins@********.com;
To: john.&%$£"@(*&^; david&*&*; anna.*****@*****;*&^%$£; stevie£@(*&^%$;
Subject: RE: Buckfastleigh
Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 11:20:59 +0000

This sounds FANtastic lol!!!!

Bob is SO yesterday's news!!!!!! rofl

Who else is coming????????

Should be a BLAST lmao!!!!!

Don't worry about Bob, Heather... I split up with someone recently too!!!!!! (albeit after one NIGHT !!!! lol)

Any other singles coming to *********??????? Could make things RATHER spicy!!!!!! lol

Let me know; either way!!!!!

A VERY excited Julian!!!!!!

RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal
From: Spencer Fairbrother (
Subject: Devon & Corwall Paranormal
To: Julian Meteor (;
heathercollins@********.com; john.&%$£"@(*&^; david&*&*; anna.*****@*****;*&^%$£; stevie£@(*&^%$;

Date: Tues, 2nd Dec 2008 12:09:23 +0000

Count me in as well.

-Although I'm not 'on the market' as it were... I'm only interested in seeking out the paranormal.

I hope this is ok with everyone,


Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 2nd Dec 2008 18:40:39
To: Julian Meteor (
CC: Spencer Fairbrother

Hi Guys,

Bob I just worked with. God have you seen him. Yuk!
No he had to go. No one in the group liked him.
We dont have any single women in our group, sorry. All old ones. But if you are interested in the Paranormal it should be a good night.
We dont have anyone young, but I'm hoping more will join as a long of young people are intersted in the Paranomal.

Let me know if you still want to come and hang around in a grave yard with a load of old foggies lol, but I now only have one spot left, so you will have to decide betwwen yourselves, then perhaps the person who misses out this time could join in next time?.


Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008 14:31:37
To: Julian Meteor (


We have no young girls in the group. Also it can be scary at night as I will ask you to go and do loan vigals in haunted loactions. Are you ok with that?
Also we sit around alot and record with camcorders and voice recorders. So alot of sitting around goes on. No one talks as we may miss the spirits so everyone must be quite.
No mucking about is allowed and no drink as this can be dangerous.
Spirits can be evil or harming so everyone needs wits about them at all times

I dont know why you think we have young women or it will get spicy.??
I think you may of got the wrong idea of this group.

Are you really interested in findng ghosts and seeing them and sitting up to 30 min alone in haunted places.
All of us do it as spirits like certain people
Everyone has to take protection because if a spirit gets in it can hurt you.

Let me know what you think.
Also why you think it has come across to you as a way of meeting girls as it is not.

Please treat this professionally if you come along and be aware we do expect our members to be put somewhere with a camera or recorder alone. If you are getting results then you may be asked to stay longer.

I had one young boy who saw something and never came back again, so it can be scary.


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (
Sent: 3rd Dec 2008
To: Heather Collins


I do NOT plan to muck about, but as a red-blooded, single 33 year old, IF one of the women on the group tries her luck (drunk or otherwise - HER choice and NOTHING to do with me) I would be loathe to refuse her advances unless she is DISGUSTING looking.

I HOPE you understand, but rest assured, I am motivated MAINLY by shooting ghosts, I am NOT using this trip for dating/drinking/socialising etc.

My 'former' friend Spencer has agreed to let me have the last spot (for a nominal fee), so I'll fill in the form later,


From: Heather Collins
Sent: 3rd December 2008 12:59:22
Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor


Ghosts are not evil. Why do you think this? You dont need to shoot them down and if you go with that attitude you will and can be harmed by them because you will be seen as a target.
You need to read up about ghosts and spirits before you come on and investigation.

You filled in your form too late and all the places have now been taken. I have a fixed amount I can take due to insurance.
We also have to notify the police on how many will be around that night as we have a police officer as one of our members who keeps us all safe on ourdoor venues.

Go and read about spirits and ghosts as most are not evil and I will arrange for you to come on another venue. I would not put you in danger and if you go thinking like this you will be in danger.


Date: Tue, 3rd Dec 2008 16:17:07 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor


Can you tell Julian that we are a professional group and he has to act professional at all times.
He seems to think he is going to get a date out of this. It is not a dating site we are all middle aged.
Is he realy interested in the Paranormal??

We do have professional people in the group. Im glad to say we have a policeman, a medic, a nurse, a security guard and all the rest have office jobs.

He has to be quiet and not treat this like a joke.
We also don't talk about our private life on investigations as we are here to work.

Can he do this? I don't think so. We have had a few people who have drunk beforhand and have been asked to leave. The men of the group deal with that.
So no drink or drugs at venues and no mucking about.

Im a bit worried that if he ever came along he will get bored as it is just sitting around recording everything with camcorders and sound recorders.

Can you explain this to him for me.


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (
Sent: 4th December 2008 08:02:14
To: Heather Collins


I don't like your tone. Julian can have the space.
And FYI we're barely even friends any more after a disastrous band fall out, so I don't know why you're acting like I'm his father/brother/mentor.

A very disappointed Spencer

Date: Thurs, 4th Dec 2008 09:18:01 +0000
From: Heather Collins
Subject: Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor

I was going to ask you over him. You seem to be more interested in the paranormal. Dont worry.
I did not know you where not friends anymore.

Very odd.

As he sent you a copy of the email he sent me I thought you where friends.

No worries. I will offer the place to someone else who wants to come.


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Spencer Fairbrother (
Sent: 4th December 2008 14:13:56
To: Heather Collins


I have just seen Julian in town. He seemed very agitated about your next expedition. I assured Julian that you would give my guaranteed place to him. After your conduct below, I think it is the least you can do for me in the circumstances. Please confirm by 4pm that Julian has been allocated my place as Julian will need to go out and buy holy water, knives etc.


Re: Llancaiach Fawr Manor‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:19:14
To: Julian Meteor (

Spencer has just emailed me and told me you two are not friends. He seems very upset with you. So I have offered the place to someone else as we only had one left and i did not want to choose between you.


RE: Llancaiach Fawr Manor
From: Julian Meteor (
Sent: 4th Dec 2008 13:38:57
To: Heather Collins


I just bumped into Spencer in Halfords and he told me that you had one space left, but that you PREFERRED it if HE came.
HOW do you explain that one?

I am coming on this trip; EITHER WAY (I will bring my OWN tent).
When do we leave and from where?


----- Original Message -----
From: Julian Meteor
To: anna.******@******
Sent: 4 December 2008 13:50 PM
Subject: RE: Devon & Cornwall Paranormal

Hi Anna!!!

I was wondering if you are going on the next outing? I am DEAD keen but a little nervous. If you are going, do you want to meet up before for a (non-alcoholic) drink or two?! Would really help!!

Are you single?

Please let me know; either way.


Subject: WTF!‏
From: Chilled Tony (
Sent: 16 September 2008 00:18:40

Hi Julian,

This is Anthony, Anna's boyfriend. Yes.... the woman you asked to meet you for a drink. Thought I would drop you a line to let you know that trying to use a paranormal site as a dating agency is a fucking sad idea, and before you try this again, I would firmly recommend you forget it and return to your well used collection of skin mags. This would be far less likely to get you a smack in the mouth. If I do hear that you have contacted her again, I WILL find out who you are and where you live!!!

Be warned and make sure this is the last time I have to contact you!!!

From: Julian Meteor (
Sent: 4 December 2008
To: Chilled Tony (

"Chilled" Tony? Could have fucking fooled me! LOL!!!!!!

It's people like you who give the paranormal scene a bad name... do you seriously think I was asking Anna out on a date?!! Jeeeezzzz, don't be a total Malcolm!! ROFL. I have a good mind to tell Heather about this. Don't worry, I'm not going to let your immature jealousy get in the way of me and my passion (or me and a SOCIABLE drink with fellow believers). I am pretty sure that Anna can speak for herself anyway.

IF you are trying to meet me as a couple, I am NOT into that sort of shit OK?

Your threats don't scare me one bit (like you were serious anyway ROFL!!!!). Hey dude, worry not, I am not threatening your relationship. She's probably too old for me anyway!!*

BTW, what on earth is a skin mag? Is this a paranormal mag? I haven't heard of that one but would be keen to find out more. Please let me know; either way.

Cheers mate


(*I'm 33. Please confirm).

Subject: It goes like are a dick‏
From: anna.*****@*****
Sent: 4 December 2008 17:41:44
To: Julian Meteor (


It would be interesting if you did tell Heather about your email from Tony as she says in her emails to all members to ignore you because you are an 'idiot' and to also block you.
So before I do just that I will say are a dick.
But I agree with you about one weren't threatening our relationship are a dick.
I am not 'too old' just too wise for you are a dick. It would be very interesting if you did actually tell Heather about Tony's 'threatening' email as she are a dick.
I actually like dicks but only one and certainly not yours as yours must be way too small because you are so full of flatulence to make up for the fact that small though it are a dick.


P.S A skin mag is porn but you wouldn't know that because you don't like to wear out your finger and thumb. Such a shame.

P.P.S Forgot to say, silly are a dick

Subject: Police‏
From: Heather Collins
Sent: 4 December 2008

I have given all the info you have sent me and my members along with your address to the local police as this is harassment. I am asking you to stop conacting my members as all have been told to save all the emails as the police will be collecting them. You really need some help dont you.
The police have also been told you may turn up on sat and if you do you will be arrested as I have given them a photo of you, your personal details as I found them all on the web. You do have alot of friends dont you. Some are very quick to give me the info about you i need to give to the police. seems your not like much and do this sort of thing all the time. Do you really want to be in court for Harassment. because I have told the police to go for it.

If you keep contacting my members it wont only be one person doing you for harassment it will be all the people you keep contacting. We will have a policman and a doorman with us on sat night as well as the local police being aware of what you have done and are doing so I think if you want to stay out of prision you will just go away.
Get some help this is not normal behaviour.

RE: Police‏
From: julianmeteor2 (
Sent: 4 December 2008 22:16:00
To: Heather Collins

I am NOT coming to your CHILDISH sleepover as I have a DATE this weekend with a HONEY I contacted through your UNSOLICITED email.
Yes, that's right, I have found LOVE.
YOU are just JEALOUS.



PS The group thinks that Bob was FAR more organised and well-mannered than you. Looks like it will ONLY be YOU and that prat Spencer this weekend ROFL!!!!!



Ian Holloway said...

Julian me old bezzer, i have done yo a FAVOUR and have invented a product for you to live you life in PEACE.

Its called Ian's Owlaway.

Julian Meteor said...

BEST invention since the rape alarm!!!!!!!!!!!

Chadwick Monkey-Nuts said...

J, seeing as your blog profile pic shows you facing away from the camera, I have a theory:
i) you either have an owl face or
ii) you were hideously disfigured by owls as a small child.

Jimbeeer said...

You need to organise your own paranormal expedition to, oh i dunno, let's say Llancaiach Fawr Manor in South Wales. How about meeting up at the gates say 10 to 8?

Only fit honeys allowed. Bring plenty of drink and knives.

Anonymous said...

Was i ever glad to get away from that mad bitch Heather. She is bloody looney tunes


Anonymous said...

If you are wondering who 'Heather' is her name is Jeanette Anderson, a lesbian who frequents the parish of Newton Abbot. She seriously believes in shapeshifting werewolves. She is mad and bad but a decent fuck with a bag over her head. Don't tell her i said so lol