Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Honeys Drought

I am VERY worried. The above graph speaks for itSELF.
I am not SO sad that I graph my sexual statistics ALL the time; in fact I don't EVEN like to talk about them, but my ALARMING slump in form (which SEEMS to stem from the loss of confidence since some NASTY people have started writing negative comments on my blog posts) has prompted me to go into my black book of conquests and check if this is not JUST a perception problem.
Sadly, as is PROVEN above, I SEEM to be in a slump.

Any tips* on how to turn this around are MUCH appreciated.

*I am NOT cutting my hair before you ask lol (Samson)


Gorilla Bananas said...

You could try having sex with fish. They're well lubricated.

Gerrard said...

This is a serious problem.
So I have carried out a complex statistical analysis and identified 3 probable causes:

1) Your sexual activity levels are directly linked to the share price of Woolworths

2) Your Sexual activity is inversely linked to your distance from plymouth

3) Your sexual activity is directly linked the average monthly temperature

If it's No.1, I'm afraid you are fucked. If it's no.2, move back to Plymouth, If it's No.3, you'll just have to hold out for a few months and get in a big box of kleenex

scarlet-blue said...


Julian Meteor said...

Any MORE than hugs? lol

scarlet-blue said...

Now now... be satisfied with hugs.

Anonymous said...

No, don't cut your hair off, unless you're going to try doing it with a scythe, in which case, do please give it your best shot.

I suspect your recent downturn in success with women is due to an outbreak in truthfulness.
Having been unfortunate enough to read your blog before, I suspect this will not last & you'll soon be back to lying your pointless arse off about girls.

Craig said...

Dont worry jullian, the cream rises to the top in the end(innuendo intended), even romain larrieu has his off days. the chicks will be swarming you again very soon.Chin up.

Scaryduck said...

Become bisexual. You'll DOUBLE your chances.

Robin Hood said...

Nasty comments? Now when have I ever made a nasty comment, you little degenerate, depraved laboratory rat with a smelly pizzle?

I only speak the truth as I see it!

Little John said...

He's just joking. . . .

Anonymous said...

Stop wearing the monocle, it's no longer cool, puts the burds off, and drops in your lemonade when you couch (yes I saw!).

Hope that helps.

P.S. Pipe doesn't really help either these days.