Had band practice last night. It is a TRAVESTY that the public is YET to hear the dark, heavy, lyrically genius songs of the Argyle Style, but OUR TIME HAS COME. Penny wasn't there (THANKfully), so we were missing a backing singer (B.O.T.H.E.R.E.D) and someone to seep NEGATIVITY into an OTHERWISE positive gang. Spencer ALSO pointed out that it's his borthday on Saturday night, so I, being a TRUE bezzy mate offered to organise a lads night out. I came up (SLIGHTLY by accident) with a MASTERstroke. Zeros Nightclub in Plymouth. My run of form with the HONEYS of Plymouth (BAD REP???? ME???? lol) looks CERTAIN to continue...
----- Original Message ----- From: Julian Meteor To: email@example.com Sent: Thurs, Oct 2, 2008 11:17 AM Subject: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol
YO YO YO!!!!
Are you open on Saturday night for a MAJOR night of birthday fun for my mate Spencer's birthday??????????? There are 12 boys, ALL up for a GREAT night out of the pull!!!!!!!
Can we reserve an area? And what sort of TCHEEEEONWNS do you play????? lol
Let me know; either way,
________________________________________ From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 200813:03:56 +0100
We are always up for a party here!! We are open Saturday night from 10.30pm - 5.00am! Just so there is no confusion, I trust you are aware that this is a diverse club for all sexualities but predominantly gay.
We have three floors, open on Saturday which consist of 2 dance floors, 2 DJ's and 2 bars. On the main floor you will find your favourite R&B and commercial dance tracks such as The Freemasons - Uninvited, Timbaland - The Way I Are and Madonna - Four Minutes whilst Upstairs in our "Cheese Factory" you will find our resident DJ Daron playing cheese pop and party music from the eighties, ninties and noughties, such as, Kylie - Wow, Abba - Gimme Gimme Gimme and Backstreet Boys - Everybody.
Unfortunately, we do not have any area that we can currently reserve for you (We are in the process of adding ANOTHER floor to the club but it is still at an early stage) , however, if you come and find myself or my assistant manager Dave, we will sort you out with some bubbly to get your party swinging ;-) I will be in a suit and Dave will be in a shirt and tie.
May I ask what age Spencer will be? Please remember that it is over 18's only. If any of your party look under 25 BRING I.D. If they are challenged about their age at the door there is a strict policy of NO I.D. NO ENTRY. Even if the person in question is actually 50 the decision will not be overturned by anyone.
Please respect the club and all of it's customers and staff. Any offensive discriminating behaviour whether it be homophobic, racial, sexual etc WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, this is an attitude free club, for the comfort of all of our customers.
I look forward to seeing your group in the club, and may I pass my birthday wishes on to Spencer. Have a great safe night.
Ray Johns, Manager Zeros Nightclub 24 Lockyer Street Plymouth Devon PL1 2QW 01752 662346 www.zerosnightclub.co.uk
________________________________________ From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com CC: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:23:57 +0000
Thanks a LOT for getting back to me!!!!!!
One problem: I did NOT know this was a gay club????!!!!! I was there only about a month ago and didn't notice???!!!!! LMAO I had a CRACKING night... got SMASHED!!!! The barman was PLYING me with beers lol!!!! Top MAN!!!!
Anyway, I have CC'd Spencer.... Spencer - what do you think, shall we give this place a go???? Sounds like a good vibe????
________________________________________ From: email@example.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 12:31:46 +0000
Hi Julian, Hi Ray,
I think this is a fantastic idea. Gay clubs are known to be a haven for pulling straight girls, so definitely count me/us in.
The way it works is this: Girls get dumped for being dappy/unpredictable/mental/having no hobbies and they get all upset. This puts them OFF men for a period of about 18 months. During this time, they USUALLY have a gay friend from work who takes them under their wing. They start socialising etc... he takes her out with his mates to these types of places and usually toward the end of this cycle they are ripe for the picking. Ratios in gay bars are usually 40% women, so in a capacity of 300, that's 120 straight birds. 50% (that's 60) of these straight birds haven't had ANY cock in about 9 months. Therefore 30 birds are milling around who have NOT had any for a flippin YEAR!!!!
There's ONLY 12 of us?//???!!!!! If we don't pull, SERIOUS questions MUST be asked!!!
Ray - can I give you guestlist names?
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com CC: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Re: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol Sent: Thurs, Oct 23, 2008 15:37:36 +0100
Hi Guys. Whilst we welcome everyone with the right attitude, your pulling figures are way off. You have neglected to account for the lesbians within the club who you will just be an annoyance to, as well as the fact that there are a lot of straight couples that come to the club so they can get away from the hassles of straight bars.
We do not operate a guest list as our charge on the door goes towards our security costs so that we can maintain our almost trouble free, safe environment.
If you do choose to come be warned that our door security personnel will not admit anyone who "in their opinion" is too intoxicated, nor will they admit groups of straight guys that appear to have the "wrong attitude". Whilst this may sound harsh, this is the way that we have built our reputation and maintain the safety of all our customers. We are the only gay club in the city so please understand that our priority is to make sure our gay clientele do not feel as though they do not belong here. There are plenty of clubs around Plymouth where our customers can go and feel threatened and unwelcome, Zeros wil not become one of them.
Many thanks and I wish you a trouble free enjoyable evening.
________________________________________ From: email@example.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com Subject: RE: SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!! lol Date: Fri, 23 May 2008 14:49:11 +0000
Thanks for your FEEDBACK RAY!!!!
So you're saying we need to ACT gay and SOBER to get past the bouncers????? Thanks for the tip!!!!! The SECOND one will be harder than the first eh Spence you campo!!!!
We're NOT the types to be anti-social... and you SEEM like a great guy, so I'm sure the club has YOUR attitude.