Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Operation: Infiltrate the Owls

This is a BIT MI6 but I tried to infiltrate an owl charity yesterday. I had this BRILLIANT idea to work for them as normal, trying REALLY hard to help owl (which would have been VERY hard...), all the while WAITING for my opportunity.
I was going to wait until December, then offer to ORGANISE the Christmas party when ALL the owls probably get invited to a barn in the country for a RIGHT old knees up.
Then the plan was to lock them ALL in FOREVER.

-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Meteor
Sent: 19/01/2009 8:09:07 AM
Subject: JOBS

Dear Barnowl,

I am VERY interested in what you do and I would hate more than ANYTHING to see the owl (ESP the barn owl) die out. I have been between jobs for the BEST part of a year now and would LOVE to help out in any way possible. Do you have any jobs going at the moment? I am a qualified chef, so could that help?

Please let me know; either way,


PS I have access to an owl mask but would need advanced notice in order to obtain it.

Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:50:44 +0000
Subject: Re: (Fwd) JOBS

Dear Julian

Thank you very much for your email & the concern that you express for the plight of the Barn Owl.
We do currently have a vacancy which we are advertising on our web site.

The closing date is noon on friday 23rd January.

Best wishes


Debbie Curtis
Conservation Assistant
tel: 01***** *****
Live owl emergency mobile 07*** ******

From: Julian Meteor
Subject: RE: (Fwd) JOBS
Date sent: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 10:08:29 +0000

Hi Debs,

Thanks for this. On ANOTHER note, I saw a guy the other day wearing what appeared to be his 'work' t-shirt. It said "Owl Instructor" on it with a picture of an owl on the front.

Any idea what one of these is? It had my friends and me BAFFLED.

Let me knowl,


RE: (Fwd) JOBS‏
Sent: 19 January 2009 10:17:03
To: Julian Meteor (

Sorry Julian
I have no idea.


From: Julian Meteor
To: 'Barn Owl Debs'
Subject: RE: (Fwd) JOBS
Date sent: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:05:53 +0000

Any news?

Any old quote should keep them happy to be honest.
Shall I just say something like "Debbie Barn from the Owl Charity says that an Owl inspector may be someone who checks for disease among owls, such as hepititis, influenza, chlamydia etc"?

Let me owl,


RE: (Fwd) JOBS‏
Sent: 19 January 2009 14:13:53
To: Julian Meteor (


We are a small under resourced charity, working very hard to conserve the Barn Owl & its environment & really do not have time to speculate on the role of an owl inspector. Please do not contact me again,




Gerrard said...

First for wasting owl lovers time.

Julian Meteor said...


TwitTwooo said...

See there you go, proof of your love of owls. You are trying to hide this passion for the caring of our feathered friends from the rest of the on-line community by pretending to be "infiltrating the group".
You have Owl posters in your bed room, don't you!!

Julian Meteor said...


Spencer said...

I'll look into it Jules.
I can defo delete his comment, and I can use his IP address to find him and physically punch him until he take it all back.

Julian Meteor said...


Same goes for ANY other owl informers.

you HAVE been warned.

Scaryduck said...

The thing is - these feathery curs can read your mind, and will know that the moment you lock them in a barn that you are trying to kill them TO DEATH.

Best to think of something else while you're doing it. Like a brick wall. Or enormous bosoms. Your call.

French Fancy said...

Save The Owl Please (STOP)

meekon5 said...

Owls are stupid.

No really they are as thick as three short planks.

Out of bordom I was watching the bird trainer for the Harry Potter films. They are the hardest animal to get to do anything. The scene where the owl drops the broom had to be done so many times until the owl did the right thing.

Now magpies, and Crows they are really clever birds.

I think I'll shut up and sit back down in my corner again.

BTW I see what you mean about white on black being naff. I'm going to re-model my blog in puce.

French Fancy said...

It was an acronym - wish I hadn't bothered now

Julian Meteor said...

KTOPl!!!!!!!!! KILL the owl please lol!!!!!

Clunking Fist said...

"Please do not contact me again,"

Get a sense of humour, lady.